


Love Song (formerly 'In Case You Didn't Know')

by kittymills



Category: Robotech, Robotech The Macross Saga
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Romance, Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Misunderstandings, Romance, canon timeline doesn't exist, everyone is bad at feelings, grand declarations of love, robotech ii doesn't exist, this is the most self-indulgent thing i've done and i love it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:14:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 49,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27992094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittymills/pseuds/kittymills
Summary: Rick has a chance to win Lisa back, but can she truly trust that he’s left his feelings for Minmei firmly in the past?
Relationships: Lisa Hayes/Rick Hunter
Comments: 29
Kudos: 12





	1. Prologue & Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Set immediately after EP34 – Private Time (or, the one where Rick leaves Lisa waiting at the café all day). The timeline has been stretched & padded a bit and it diverges from canon from here. In this universe, Khyron doesn’t attack the SDF’s, but instead limps his ship out of the solar system never to be seen again. Oh yeah, and the other ‘seasons’ and Robotech II: The Sentinels don’t exist.
> 
>   
> This fic also has an accompanying playlist that you can find here: [[PLAYLIST](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6h9HSvohSsV2XTSon0F2Zj?si=MaByBbjHS0-NRPmwTyXppg)]
> 
>   
> *sidenote – Bobby Bell (feat. In Reconstruction Blues) is a bigger character here. For some reason, as a kid, I was weirdly obsessed with this minor background character with 0.16 seconds of screen time and since this fic is all about indulging my inner self, I decided to give him life in this story. [ [Bobby Wiki] ](https://robotech.fandom.com/wiki/Bobby_\(Reconstruction_Blues\))  
> \--  
> feedback is adored <3
> 
> \--
> 
> UPDATE (March '21): The fic has had a title change for reasons that will hopefully become clearer later. It's evolved slightly since I wrote the first draft but it's still the same story and I wanted a title to reflect that. Hopefully it's not to confusing to anyone following along.

**[[FIC PLAYLIST LINK](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6h9HSvohSsV2XTSon0F2Zj?si=MaByBbjHS0-NRPmwTyXppg)]**

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_Say you love me to my face_   
_I need it more than your embrace_   
_Just say you want me, that's all it takes_   
_Heart's getting torn from your mistakes_

"Say You Love Me" - Jesse Warre

  
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* * *

**PROLOGUE**

Its fury alone that sustains her long enough to find a cab and make her way home without succumbing to the tears.

It burns just on the inside of her chest, right where her heart should be. Better to savour the burn, she thinks, instead of succumbing to the other emotion that lurks around the edges. The hurt, the frustration…

The humiliation.

She had waited the entire day for him, all while he was off on _urgent personal business_ with none other than Miss Macross herself.

Cool air whips around her legs and her hands shake as she opens her door. The dusk has grown into night and she's grateful for the dim light to hide the pinch of her lips. The wind catches her hair, making it billow softly around her face as the street lights slowly wink awake. A whole day she's wasted. A whole day sitting around waiting for _him._

 _For an intelligent woman, you can sure be a fool sometimes_ , Lisa thinks to herself.

In the sanctuary of her pre-fab quarters, the edges of her anger morph into something more painful now. Something that if she looks too closely at will hurt so much it will leave her breathless. She doesn't look at her tiny kitchen, still strewn with the mild chaos of her early morning cooking session. She had been so eager to get to the café to meet Rick, she promised herself that _just this once_ she would break ranks and leave the dishes to wash up once she got home.

She regrets that decision now. Perhaps if she had taken the time to tidy up like she should have, she wouldn't be standing here chilled to the bone after wasting an entire day waiting around for a man who obviously couldn't care less.

It hits her like a wave anew and the force of it makes her gasp out loud and reach a trembling hand out to grip the doorway. He really chose Minmei over her. Again.

Her eyes sting and she shudders. She tries to tell herself it's just a chill from being caught out in the cold. It's not entirely a lie. She's cold from the chill evening air outside, but she's colder yet from the treatment she received.

How can she ever hope to compete against a star crossed love like that?

The answer is a simple whisper through her thoughts… _She can't._

So perhaps it was time she stopped trying.

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* * *

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**A few days later.**

_She's sure going out of her way to avoid me,_ Rick thinks to himself as he crosses the tarmac and the downdraft of the passing airborne mecha ruffles his hair. There are the familiar traces of grease, fuel and hot bitumen that remind him of his childhood and the shadow of the battered SDF-1 looms large over the city of New Macross behind him. Something cool tickles his nose and drifts gently against his cheeks.

"Huh?" he mutters, looking up into the grey sky. "Hey, look at that."

A sparkle of white snow flurries float down. For an instant, he's elated at the sight, the snowflakes laying down a carpet of pristine ivory reminding him of hot chocolates and long walks in the cool evening air. But then his smile starts to slip.

_The last time it snowed, Lisa and I were in the park together._

A now familiar twist tugs on his heart when he recalls the day it all went sideways. The instant he had heard Minmei's voice on the other end of the phone, he should have hung up. Instead, he'd fallen back into old habits, caught in her allure like a fly in a web and no matter how many times he tried to convince himself that there were a hundred good reasons why going to see Minmei that day had been a good idea, in the cold and brittle aftermath of Lisa's silent fury, he can't recall a single one of them.

It's been days now and Lisa still refuses to speak to him and Rick is beginning to lose what little hope he had left that there was anything left to salvage between them. He had tried to distract himself with his work, being extra diligent with his patrols and in writing up his reports, hoping somehow that Lisa might be impressed with his dedication and attention to detail enough that it might thaw her attitude towards him, but it turns out to be wasted a wasted effort because Lisa hasn't step foot on the base for days.

Rick has no doubts he's the reason for her absence.

He sighs quietly to himself and forces his feet to keep moving along the airstrip. The Skull's hangar looms large before him and he makes his way towards it just as he has so many times before. He misses the times when Lisa would be there waiting for him, her hands tucked behind her back and her hair billowing in the wind. Instead, he's greeted by a surprising amount of cheer in the pilot's locker room, the upbeat chatter and loud, playful voices are a jarring contrast to the unexpected low set of his mood. He spies Max and Bobby, already stripping off their flight gear and Rick gives them both a nod before he makes his way towards his own locker.

There's a burst of laughter from nearby and Rick experiences a flash of irritation at the sound. He flattens his mouth into a tight line just as a familiar face appears at his elbow.

"Hey, Skipper," Max says brightly. "Are you ready to pain the town red tonight? It's going to be a great night."

Rick absently stows his helmet away, his thoughts still outside with the snowflakes and Lisa. He wonders if maybe he should just let sleeping dogs lie. She clearly doesn't want to speak to him, and he can't blame her, really. Maybe he should take his lead from her, and simply… let her be. He doesn't care for the twisting plunge of his gut when he considers that maybe this time he's made a blunder he can't come back from. But it's Lisa, he tells himself. She's always forgiven him in the past, hasn't she?

He can't shake the niggling feeling that this time… all bets are off.

"Oh, I don't know, Max," Rick says as he tugs on the fastenings of his flight suit. His mood has taken a severe nose dive after seeing the snow and thinking about his problems with Lisa. "I'm pretty tired."

"Uh, that's a negative, Captain," Bobby calls out from the other side of the room. His cherub like face makes him look younger than he really is but he's been flying with Rick for almost a year. He's not as by-the-book as Ransom and Rick has always liked him. "Your presence is mandatory!"

Rick shuts his locker, not quite following the exchange. "Mandatory? Uh, wait, have I missed something? What's going on?"

It's Ransom who answers him, an older man who joined the service not long after the Rain. He flew crop dusters back in his youth and the fact that Rick out flies and out ranks him at the tender age of twenty four is something Rick knows bothers him. "Bobby's bachelor party, Captain. We've had this planned for weeks."

Rick tries to ignore the flash of annoyance at the faintly disapproving tone. "Oh, right. Of course it is. It just slipped my mind for a moment."

Ransom's mouth pinches. "Of course it did," he says mildly, his tenor clearly telling Rick he doesn't believe it for a second.

Max senses the sudden tension. He slides between Rick and Ransom and give Rick a warm slap on the shoulder. "Come on, Rick," he cajoles. "We can't celebrate Bobby's impending nuptials without you so you've gotta come."

"Yeah, Captain," another one of the Skull says. "Besides we need you there to pick up the tab!"

There's laughter in response to that and Rick's mouth twists in as he hesitates. He's really not in the mood to go out drinking with the squad but his sense of obligation is strong. Besides, he likes Bobby and Rick took his responsibility as a leader both on and off duty seriously.

Roy definitely would have thrown off the bad mood and joined them on the town.

"Alright," Rick agrees finally. "I suppose someone has to be there to keep an eye on you lot. Can't have you embarrassing the RDF and all."

The others cheer and Bobby flashes him a grateful smile. "That's the spirit! Way to go, Captain!"

Before long, Rick is carried along in the small crowd of pilots as they leave the base and make their way into New Macross's thriving central district. The streets are busy with civilians and with them all out of uniform, Rick and the squad blend in easily. A cinema across the street is showing an old classic from before the Rain of Death, a flick called _Hello Goodbye_ that somehow seems vaguely familiar. Rick considers privately that it was good to see something other than Minmei's movies on show.

They pour into a bar called The Set-Up, a place Rick has been to a few times before. Although the building it was nestled in was as new as the reconstruction efforts, inside it felt timeless, with warm paneling on the walls sporting the occasional Minmei poster, rich burgundy carpets and low lighting that fostered a warm, intimate mood. The bar is towards the back wall but the group of pilots ignore it in favour of finding a booth. It turns out to be a tight squeeze, too many men squashed into too small a space and Rick grunts then can't help but laugh when he finds himself wedged between Max on one side and a still wet around the ears corporal on the other. The corporal seems far to be young to be in a place like this and he looks at Rick like a deer in the headlights. Rick suddenly feels every one of his twenty four years when he stares into the face of the fledgling corporal. He wonders idly if he was as wide eyed and terrified when he was that age.

He mentions as much to Max a bit later in the evening once the drinks start coming out and Max chuckles beside him. "I still remember the first time Ben and I met you back on the SDF-1. We were more nervous about meeting Commander Fokker. Uh, no offence, Rick."

Rick laughs at that, not offended in the slightest. Roy was a legend among the crew of the SDF-1 and it was only by virtue of Rick's childhood bond with him that kept him thoroughly unimpressed by his big brother's war hero status before the war with the Zentraedi had started. He hadn't understood the awe that people regarded Roy with, not until much later when they were trapped in a tin can somewhere out past Pluto and they couldn't be sure if any day could be their last.

Rick does his best to keep his mood light and join in with the banter with the squad, telling himself that times like this were important for team bonding. For the most part, he's successful. He almost doesn't notice the tightness across his shoulders and the heavy lump in his gut from earlier was starting to ease until he glances up and his heart almost seizes as he catches sight of a head full of honey brown hair. For a slit second he thinks its Lisa, and the wild flare of elation that he might finally be able to speak to her is dizzying. He's halfway out of his seat before the realization hits that it's not her and the weight of his disappointment makes him sink back into down slowly.

Once again that now familiar pang against his heart sounds and it takes him a long moment to realize… he misses her.

The rest of the pilots don't seem to notice his sudden turmoil as a waitress delivers around of shots to the table. Toasts start being made and Rick forces himself to pay attention. He's grateful for the burn each shot of alcohol has against his throat and the dulling of his senses, at least for a little while.

The tributes continue, as do the drinks and Max seems particularly determined to toast to everything about marriage, being the only married man in attendance; the self-appointed expert and number one fan of the institution.

"Yeah," Bobby jeers, leaning over the table to wave his drink in Max's face after the third offering. The amber liquid sloshes dangerously but Bobby doesn't notice. "But your wife is a Zentraedi, different rules have gotta apply, right?"

Max looks at him sagely. "You might think so, but a woman is still a woman, and you need to know how to make happy. Repeat after me boys. A happy wife means a happy-"

Most of the pilots finish off in a chorus of "life!" except for one who yells out "ending!" before dissolving into fits of shouts and laughter. Max reigns supreme at the end of the table, doling out the drinks from the bottle he'd swiped while the bartender wasn't paying attention.

Rick listens with half an ear as Bobby starts to mumble into his cups about his future bride beside him. It sounds like a whirlwind romance; they had met, fallen in love and Bobby had proposed in a matter of months. Part of Rick wonders if Bobby shouldn't be tying himself to someone so quickly, but the other part of himself thinks _why wait?_ If the war with the Zentraedi had taught them anything it's that no one can predict tomorrow, no one knows how much time they have left, so why bother holding back on the things that make them happy?

Rick ponders that last thought as another warm burn slides down his throat. What was happiness anyway? For a long time he had considered Minmei to be his happiness, except when he listens to the conversation around the table, all talk of love and life, it's not Minmei's face that lurks at the edges of his thoughts.

"She's my ever'thing, Capt," Bobby turns and says to him, a sloppy smile on his face and his eyes distinctly unfocused enough to make Rick wonder if he should move away lest Bobby loses the contents of his stomach. "I'm so happy, I love her so.. so mu- much."

"That's swell, Bobby," Rick manages to say. He finds himself genuinely hoping that Bobby and his bride are one of the lucky ones in this new world. He genuinely hopes they have a long, happy life together, untouched by any more tragedy. _Hope for the best, but expect the worst,_ Rick thinks, and then he wonders if that sage maxim could offer him any solace with Lisa.

"Alright, Skipper," Max lands heavily in the seat beside him, startling Rick out of his thoughts. Rick hadn't realized that he was suddenly alone at the table, the others migrated over to the bar and a few on the dancefloor while he was deep in contemplation. "Are you going to tell me what's going on? There's scuttlebutt that your date with Captain Hayes didn't go so well. That's not true, is it?"

Rick swallows back his groan and slumps in his chair. He's been waiting for this. Almost everyone on the com had heard him ask Lisa on the picnic, but not so many had been there the day of when she had called in to the base to look for him. He knew it would only be a matter of time before speculation ran rife. He also knew Lisa would hate it, and it's yet another item to put on the list of things he needs to apologize profusely for.

If he can ever get her to speak to him again.

He sighs. "In this instance, scuttlebutt would be right," he says miserably. "The date didn't even happen."

"What do you mean?" Max frowns at him over his blue tinted aviators but then shrugs in his easy way. "Don't tell me you got cold feet and stood her up, Captain?" he teases then he catches sight of Rick's face, of the dismay and guilt Rick isn't fast enough to hide and blinks. "Oh. Uh. Ah… Do you want talk about it?"

Rick's first instinct is to wave it off, to shut the door on that complicated scenario and ignore it. It was his usual pattern when it came to matters of the heart before now, but the heaviness that clings to him won't let him follow his usual habits. He can't stop replaying the moment Lisa's soft gaze had morphed into something hurt and hard and brimming with fury in the moment before she had stormed away.

It takes him a long time to realize the feelings that sit heavily inside him are ones of shame and guilt and it's an effort to draw up the courage to tell Max the whole, sorry story.

Initially Max looks saddened, then horrified, then the moment Rick finishes speaking, Max lifts a hand and slaps Rick over the back of the head.

Rick splutters angrily. "Hey!"

Max's normally warm eyes behind his aviators are narrowed with annoyance. He scowls at Rick, unapologetic. "Well clearly someone needs to knock some sense into you, Skipper and since Commander Fokker is no longer with us, it's going to have to be me. And trust me, you don't want it to be Miriya."

Rick opens his mouth to protest then snaps it shut quickly, privately agreeing. He had built a good rapport with Miriya over the years, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't still have the odd moment when he was still slightly intimidated by Max's micronized wife.

"Thanks a lot," Rick complains, rubbing the bad of his head and noticing the further sinking of his gut. If it wasn't enough that Lisa wouldn't talk to him, now even his best friend was annoyed at him. "I know I made a mistake, alright."

Max peers at him assessingly and pours himself another drink. On the other end of the table, an arm wrestling match has broken out between Bobby and another pilot Rick is sure he should know the name of but suddenly can't place. Rick doesn't bother to watch.

"Look, Rick, one of these days, you have got to let Minmei go. Either that, or man up and ask her to marry you and be done with it."

"Marry me?" Rick says in alarm. "No one said anything about _marriage."_

"Marriage is beautiful, Rick. You should try it sometime."

"Huh," Rick snorts and gives Max a sideways glance. He plucks the drink Max just poured and commandeers it for himself. "You're like a walking advertisement for matrimony these days, you realize that, right?"

Max shrugs, nonplussed at Rick's comment or his thievery and pours himself a new glass. "Why wouldn't I be? I have a beautiful wife and an adorable baby girl waiting for me at home."

Max downs the shot then goes quiet for a moment. He stares into his glass and Rick is still sober enough to notice that Max's enthusiasm has taken an unexpected dive into melancholy.

 _Uh, oh,_ Rick thinks. "Max," he probes cautiously after a few moments have passed. "Is everything alright at home?"

Max's head snaps up. "Huh? Yes of course. I just… I kind of wish I was there right now though."

For a minute, Rick is confused. "So why don't you just go home? To be honest, I kind of want to get out of here too."

"Because we're doing this for Bobby, Rick," Max says, rolling his eyes gently, like the answer should be obvious. "And also because… because Miriya and I decided it might be best to have some time apart."

The alcohol makes Rick's brain sluggish, so he's not sure he's following what Max is trying to tell him. Time apart? Separation? That was generally a precursor to a relationship collapsing. _Surely Max and Miriya can't be on the path to divorce,_ he thinks wildly. Max and Miriya were… well, _Max and Miriya._ Their love defied an entire galaxy. "Huh?" Rick manages to blink. "Time apart? As in a divor-"

Max almost cracks the bottle against the table in his hurry to set it down and put Rick straight. "No! God, not.. Not a divorce, what are you thinking, Rick?"

Rick shrugs helplessly as Max shakes his head at him. He's not sure why his brain jumped to that conclusion first but then Lisa's face flashes briefly behind his eyes. "I dunno, you said time apart."

"It's just… well, we live together, we fly together, we fight together, Rick. Sometimes I wonder if one day she's just going to get sick of me."

Rick snorts. "I can't imagine that ever happening."

"I love her, Rick. Even after all these years, even knowing what the Zentraedi really are… I love her more and more each day. I can't explain it. It's… it's everything."

Rick feels more comfortable with the glazed look that slides over Max's eyes. His gaze turns soft and more than a little dreamy. Rick's used to this but instead of finding private humor in the way Max cares so clearly about his wife, Rick wonders what it would be like to have a love like that.

He's always loved Minmei, but… well, it wasn't exactly like she loved him back. Not like how Max loves Miriya.

For a brief flash, Rick is suddenly irrationally, bitterly jealous of his best friend and wingman but he does his best to shove it down. He reminds himself that whatever it was he had with Minmei, it wouldn't ever be anything real like this. Just a fantasy he needs to tuck away before it ruins whatever might come in the future.

If it hasn't already.

"You know, sometimes I envy you, Max. You've found the one for you and she loves you back. You're lucky."

Max looks at him shrewdly. Or as shrewdly as he can with his eyes glassy from too much alcohol. Rick feels a little light headed himself. "I think maybe you found the one for you too, Skipper. And it wasn't four years ago on launch day."

Rick swallows thickly, his stomach rolling with the knowledge that he's sunk that boat. Suddenly salvaging anything with Lisa seems impossible. He's not sure she even _likes_ him anymore, let alone loves him. The ache settles painfully in his heart, surprising him with the force of it.

He shakes his head sadly. "Too late for that."

"It's never too late," Max waves a hand at him dismissively. "If you're still breathing, there's still a chance. You know Ben would tell you to go for it."

Ben's name brings a familiar pang to Rick's chest. The loss of him still hurts and even after all this time, Rick still lies awake at night wondering if there was more he could have done. If he had given the order a fraction earlier, would Ben still be here too? But he knows those kinds of thoughts are hopeless and nothing will change the past.

The future though… it was still waiting to be written.

Lisa's face pops into his mind again, the soft, happy smile she had given him as she had looped her arm in his and they had started to walk down the path in the park. She had been so warm and her soft laugh was like a pretty bell in his ear. He had been so overwhelmed with gratitude that she was still willing to spend time with him that he'd tucked her close and smiled softly at her.

What a contrast that had been from when Minmei had taken his arm earlier in Monument City. He'd been tense and anxious then, inundated and faintly nauseous by the heavy cloud of perfume Minmei wore; worried they would be seen by an army of lenses.

He really shouldn't have bothered. He should have stuck to his date with Lisa. _How could he have hurt her like that?_

Rick swallows, something thick in his throat. "How… How did you know, Max? How did you know Miriya was the one for you?"

Max's expression turns infinitely soft as he reminisces. "Because when I saw her, all the noise just… stopped. And when I'm with her, I feel calm. She's my equil… equilalib.. equalibri _-ham."_

"Alright, I think you've had enough," Rick tries to tell him kindly, reaching for the bottle Max still clutches in his hand but Max pulls it back out of Rick's reach and waves him off.

"And you haven't had enough!" he states firmly. "Here, 'ave another one. Maybe then you'll realize what you've got right in front of you... and that it's worth fighting for."

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	2. Chapter 2

_I do what it takes to make this right  
But we got to stop before the regret_

"Armor" - Landon Austin

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* * *

It's the middle of the night when Lisa is woken by an unexpected tap against her bedroom window. She wonders briefly if it could be an intruder trying to gain entry but crime has been all but non-existent during the reconstruction efforts so that thought is quickly discarded. She lies still and strains her ears, listening hard for the sound to repeat. It does, and then there's a new sound that accompanies it - a muffled call of her name.

She sits up slowly, not entirely sure that her ears aren't playing tricks on her but then she hears it again. She recognizes the voice and she's not sure what to feel.

She's still so numb after spending the better part of her evening crying in her bathroom.

Her name is called out once again, louder this time and the taps against the glass gets more insistent. She spares half a thought for her neighbours, hoping that they won't be woken up by noise when the voice calling her name gets brasher. She doesn't want to have to explain this, why there is a dark haired man rattling her bedroom window in the middle of the night. She can only imagine the kind of lurid conclusions they would draw and her face heats at the implications. Wearily, she pushes aside her sheets and swings her feet to the rug. It's cool in her quarters without her blankets so she reaches for her robe and slips it around her shoulders.

Her feet make no sound as she pads across the floor. She doesn't open her window, but stands beside it to keep out of sight. She doesn't want to him to see her, not mussed with sleep and with eyes puffy as she is. She doesn't want him to know how deep she was allowing herself to wallow.

He calls out again and her traitorous heart pangs at the familiar flow of his voice.

"Lisa," he calls out in what she guesses is supposed to be a hushed whisper, but is infinitely too loud. She thinks again about her neighbours and dreads the lights coming on in the pre-fab unit next door. "Lisa, please. Please talk to me. Lisa?"

She wants to ignore him, but she knows how stubborn he can be. For days she's kept her distance but it hasn't been easy. Every time she would hear a message or receive a note from him, her resolve would waver.

But then she remembers what he did.

"Lisa!"

His voice is louder this time and Lisa can't ignore him any more. She tugs aside the curtain and peers out. Her heart flips inside her chest. "Rick," she hisses through the glass. "What on Earth are you doing out there?"

Even in the low light from the street lamp that washes his features silver, Lisa can see the way his eyes light up when he registers her voice.

"Lisa." He presses his face to her window and desperate relief colours his tone. "Oh, good, you _are_ home. Please, Lisa, I need to talk to you."

"Are you insane? It's the middle of the night!"

There's a scuffle and Rick's face disappears from the window for a moment before he returns. His expression turns lost and unsure. "Is it?"

She studies him through the glass, noticing then that his hair is even more dishevelled than usual he's dressed in civilian clothes. She recognizes the shirt, a deep green she had agonized over buying for him just this Christmas past. She remembers the way it had made his eyes take on the colour of the sea when he had held it up and smiled at her, thanking her for the gift.

She frowns at the memory just as another one skitters past her thoughts, of something he had mentioned to her before their failed date about one of the Skull just recently engaged.

He must have been out celebrating with them.

She exhales sharply, wondering if the sharp wave of hurt whenever she thinks about him will ever fade. Here she was heartbroken over his two timing, crying herself to sleep and there _he_ was off gallivanting around with his squad and painting the town red.

"Yes it is, Rick," she snaps, the hurt and anger once again rising up to the fore. Lisa hugs it close, barricading her heart behind it to keep him at bay. "And I have no desire to talk to you right now. Especially not when you have clearly been drinking!"

There's a pause, a small groan and his voice changes, turning low and mournful. "Aw, come on Lisa. Please let me come in."

The softness that blends with his words catches her by surprise. Once again, her resolve wavers and she has to take a moment to gather her strength around her. If only she could shut off her feelings for this man. But embarrassment of their failed date, the hurt and humiliation still burned deep.

Rick may want to talk to her, but really, what was there to say?

"Go home, Rick," she calls out, relieved that her voice comes out clear and strong when she feels anything but. "There's nothing I want to say to you."

There's a heartbeat of silence on the other side, then a thud that startles her. Rick is suddenly pressed close to her window once again. He starts to plead.

"You've been ignoring me for days. Come on, Lisa, how much long are you going to stay mad at me? Please let me in-"

"I _don't_ want to talk to you, Rick."

"Lisa, you've got this all wrong. Please, Lisa. Let me in. I'll explain everything!"

"You told me all I needed to know that day in the park. Go home, Rick."

"No! That's… uh, no, that's not what I-"

He cuts himself off and then the silence on the other side is longer this time. So long she wonders if perhaps he decided to follow instructions and go home after all. She tells herself she should be relieved, but instead her chest just aches with a sense of loss.

 _Don't be ridiculous_ , she says to herself sharply. _You never had him in the first place._

She turns to go back to bed, but then a loud, confident knock comes from her front door. She grits her teeth in frustration. Of course Rick wouldn't listen. When does he _ever_ listen?

She tries to gather up the rage from a few days ago, donning it like armour and hoping that the sting of it will smother any weakness. Already she finds herself wishing she could open the door and let him in – not just to her quarters, but to her life, and her heart.

But haven't they done this dance already? And hadn't it already ended with her once again all alone and sidelined?

She pads out to the living space and calls out firmly through the front door. "I'm going back to bed now, Rick. I suggest you do us both a favour and do the same."

"I'm not leaving," comes his response. There's an edge to it now. Lisa can almost picture the stubborn tilt to his chin as he speaks. That same petulant challenge he'd fling at her over the com back in the early days of their acquaintance. "Not until you hear what I have to say!"

The anger comes a bit easier now.

"I have no interest in whatever you have to say. I've already made that clear. Go home, Captain Hunter."

There's a low thump against her door, as though maybe he's kicked it in frustration. Then his voice carries through even louder than before. "Oh, so you're pulling rank on me again? That's what you always do when things get uncomfortable. Well, I'm not leaving until you talk to me."

Lisa's brows snap together angrily and her temper flares white hot after simmering all this time. "Fine," she shouts from the other side. "If that's how you want to play it, then you can stay out there all night and freeze to death for all I care!"

She spins on her heel and goes back to her bedroom, a righteous fury boiling inside her chest all the while. _If he thinks he can just show up here in the middle of the night after everything he's done and demand that I hear him out then he has another thing coming!_ The sheets snap as she straightens them, then she flips off her lamp and plunges her bedroom in to darkness.

For a moment, all is quiet. She listens to the sounds of the night wondering if he's still there then convinces herself he couldn't possibly be. She wants to sleep, but instead her mind replays their interactions from the last few weeks in bright, technicolour dreams. She had honestly felt they had reached a turning point, that maybe Rick had moved past his infatuation with Miss Macross and was ready to take a chance on something real. She had certainly felt it when they had sat together, albeit somewhat awkwardly, on his couch sipping at the tea she had brought that one rainy night. They had talked, cleared the air between them, maturely said their apologies and eventually reached a kind of warm understanding. She remembered thinking that night that if she had Rick's friendship, then maybe she could be content with that.

And she might have been, were it not for the promise of something more when he asked her on a date. But then he chosen Minmei again and Lisa understood then that perhaps Rick hadn't really grown up at all.

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* * *

Rick huddles on the front step of Lisa's quarters. It was just as cold as it had been in the small garden next to her bedroom window but now the liquid courage of the alcohol from earlier was starting to wear off and the chill was starting to set in.

He didn't know what else to do but beg her to let him speak, to explain, to apologize…. _Again._ He only knew that he wasn't ready to give up on having Lisa in his life, not after having spent an evening with Bobby and Max and listening to them wax lyrical about the women in their lives. He wasn't sure what the future would bring, but he knew he that he wanted Lisa to be a part of it – far beyond simply being his superior officer and issuing him commands over the tac net.

He wanted more.

Rick closes his eyes as the air around him chills him further. His clothes are starting to feel damp now and he regrets his rush to hail a cab and leaving his coat behind in the bar. It proves to be another bad decision in a flurry of bad decisions lately and without meaning to, his thoughts once again drift back to the day it all changed.

From the moment he had de-planed after his side trip to Monument City, Rick had bolted to Lisa's quarters only to discover them silent and empty. He found a vid-phone and called everyone he could think of looking for her, valiantly trying to wade through the waves of disapproval flowing down the phone line before realizing with an ever increasing sense of dread that she was still at the café, still waiting for him, even though it had been _hours._

He could barely get his words out when he had finally found her, stuttering something out between gasping breaths about the uprising in Monument and what felt like a thousand apologies. He had been so sure she would take him to task for wasting her day but instead she had linked their arms, smiled up at him with those green eyes soft with an affection he wasn't sure he deserved and suggested a walk. He'd been so relieved he had been spared her wrath that he didn't think twice to drape the scarf Minmei had given him around her shoulders.

If only he could go back, he could have done everything differently.

He conjures up her face behind her eyes as his teeth start to chatter from the cold. His favourite memory of her after he had finally found her in the hallway of the command centre and they had finalized their plans for their date. He wasn't sure what it was about her that day that seemed so different, maybe it was the warmth in her gaze she was usually so careful to hide but she had glanced at him over her shoulder as she walked away and her smile had almost made his heart stop.

How had he not realized until that moment how truly wonderful she was? So strong and brave but with a capacity for such sweetness underneath her sharp edges. And just when he thought he had her figured out, she would surprise him with something new.

A bit like now, he thinks dejectedly. He honestly hadn't anticipated that she wouldn't let him in. She must really be mad.

 _Can you blame her?_ His big brother's voice laughs suddenly in his mind.

Rick scowls to himself and hunches down, wedging himself as tightly as he could against the door. The snow was falling harder now and soon he would be forced to either suffer hypothermia, or admit defeat and crawl home with his tail between his legs.

Neither prospect was particularly inviting.

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* * *

Back in her bedroom, Lisa lies in her bed and stares up at the empty ceiling wishing for sleep.

It frustrates her that Rick might still be outside her door and she worries about him if he is. Rick wasn't dressed for snow weather, she could see as much with his plain button up shirt through the window. Where was his coat, she wonders before scoffing to herself and trying to harden her heart. He probably left it at whatever bar they were drinking at, she tells herself savagely. Off having the time of his life like he didn't just rip out her heart a few days ago.

She waits for the sting of pain those thoughts should bring but they're muted under the concern that's slowly creeping forward. At best, he could catch a chill. At worse, he might lose his fingers and toes and then what good would he be to the service?

For the second time that night, she taps on her lamp and pushes aside her sheets. She doesn't believe for a moment he's still out there, but her _conscience_ won't let her rest. She resolves to check that her front stoop is bare then go back to bed. Maybe then she can sleep without fear of something like guilt gnawing on her insides.

Not that _she_ had anything to feel guilty about.

She pulls her robe tighter around herself as she opens the door-

Only to be greeted with a very cold and very damp Captain Hunter tumbling sideways onto her feet.

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	3. Chapter 3

_Maybe it's 'cause I got a little bit older  
Maybe it's all that I've been through  
I'd like to think it's how you lean on my shoulder  
And how I see myself with you_

"Fire on Fire" - Sam Smith

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* * *

Rick has seen Lisa angry on more than one occasion. He's been the cause for that anger too many times to count… but he's never seen her stunned speechless before.

He lies in the doorway shivering as she stands over him in little else but a pale pink robe that clings to her curves and shows off the smooth lines of her legs. _Oh, she's lovely_ , he has a split second to think before she unleashes on him.

"Rick Hunter! _What on earth is wrong with you!?"_

He opens his mouth to answer, or at least he tries to but every part of him is so cold he can't seem to make anything work and the only response she gets is the chatter of his teeth. Lisa glares at him then sighs irritably, muttering something under her breath he should probably be relieved he can't hear. She bends down to take his arm, then forcibly hauls him inside into the blessed warmth of her quarters just far enough to be able to close the door behind him.

Then she leaves him on the tiles and steps back, her beautiful green eyes full of uncompromising fire.

_Oh, boy._

"L-L-Lisa," he stutters then gives up on trying to speak in favour of climbing uncomfortably to his feet instead. He can't manage to straighten himself completely so he stands half hunched, arms wrapped around himself and quaking from the cold. He's sure he looks rather pathetic in his half-frozen, unkempt state.

He closes his eyes as she rails at him. "You are the most _pig_ -headed, idiotic, _stubborn_ …!"

Lisa bites off her tirade and in the silence, Rick squints open one eye. Lisa is holding herself in check with a visible effort, one hand clenched tightly against her nightgown and her nostrils flaring delicately. Oh, yeah, she's _really_ mad and a small part of him is strangely relieved because at least this is familiar.

He would much rather face her temper than her tears.

"Lisa, I… I needed you to know-" he starts but she cuts him off with an icy glare. It takes everything in him not to hunch down further under the cold fury in her eyes but then it's his turn to be stunned when she steps forward and grasps his arm. He wants to sigh at the warmth of her touch around his chilled bicep, except that her grip is painfully tight.

He finds himself hauled up and propelled along as she marches him through her living room and down the short hall of her quarters. If he was in a different situation, he might have craned his neck to look around curiously having never been any further than her living space and as it is, he catches a tiny glimpse of a stuffed penguin in her bedroom before she stops in front of another door and pushes it open.

"Lisa, wha-"

She leaves him floundering in the doorway as she goes into the small bathroom just long enough to flick on the taps of the shower.

"Get in and get warm before you drop dead of hypothermia," she orders sharply, jabbing a finger at the shower cubicle. The mist is builds behind her as the hot water streams down.

Lisa frowns and points at the cubicle once again when Rick hesitates too long. "Get in."

"Yes, ma'am," he mumbles, a small part of him responding to her commanding tone by rote. He lifts trembling fingers to his shirt and fumbles with the buttons. His hands feel like blocks of ice and he's struggling to make them obey his directions. He looks down at himself and gestures weakly to his clothes, offering Lisa what he hopes is one of his most charming, rueful smiles. "I can't seem to feel my fingers. Are you going to, uh… can you-"

She glowers at him… then promptly slams the door in his face.

 _Ouch_ , he thinks as he struggles out of his cold, damp clothes and steps into the spray of hot water. For a few long moments, he only thinks about chasing away the chill from his bones but then he starts to wonder what on earth he had been thinking earlier to show up on Lisa's doorstep in the middle of the night. He remembers the bar, the drinks, Max's voice in his ear and the overwhelming drive to find Lisa, to beg for her forgiveness because all he knows is that he needs her in his life. He couldn't let her be mad at him forever,

In the hazy lighting of the bar with the taste of whiskey on his tongue, it had seemed like a foolproof plan. He'd beg for her forgiveness, he would win her back and then they could carry on much like they had before. But with the water streaming over his head and draping wet locks of hair into his eyes, his only thought is that he hopes he can find a way to thaw Lisa's heart as well as the warm water seems to be defrosting his freezing limbs and wonders if he can.

_Nothing worth having is ever easy, little brother._

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* * *

Lisa manages to reign in her temper as Rick thaws out in the shower but the hurt comes back as soon as she walks into her kitchenette to put on a pot of tea and she sees the picnic basket and thermos still perched in a corner on the counter.

She had hoped to escape him for a while, to lick her wounds and regroup before she had to face him again but here he was, in her _bathroom_ of all places!

On any other day, she would have secretly rejoiced in the idea of it. But today… today it just makes her already weary heart ache for hopes and dreams too soon put to bed.

She goes about making the tea on autopilot, before realizing that Rick won't have anything to dress in once he leaves the bathroom. His clothes are a damp, soggy mess and there was no way she will let him put them back on no matter how angry she was with him. But she also had nothing else to offer him so she resigns herself to the fact that the rumour mill will go wild and makes a quick call to the requisitions centre on the base. A peculiar look from the Ensign who had handed her the package at the front door a short time later and she had a spare uniform for Rick ready.

"Rick," she calls through the door, before realizing her tone was far too tentative and soft. She calls again, louder this time, sharper. It's been a while now, surely the hot water had long turned cold. She places the neatly folded uniform down. "Rick, there are dry clothes for you on the floor outside the door."

The sound of the water shuts off and she steps back from the door quickly. Without meaning to, a mental image of him naked, draped with nothing but one of her towels on the other side flashes through her mind. She does her best to push it away.

His voice is soft on the other side of the door but she hears it clearly. "Thanks, Lisa."

She hurries away from the bathroom and returns to the kitchen, busying herself once again with the tea. The bathroom door opens after a moment and too late she realizes she's put herself at a distinct disadvantage by not dressing herself.

Now here he was fully garbed in perfectly pressed white and blue while she was in nothing but her nightgown and a simple, silk slip underneath. When he walks into her living room, she feels naked in more ways than one.

He pauses there for a moment, his dark hair wet and slicked back away from his forehead. It makes his blue eyes seem even brighter and for a split second, a wave of longing crashes over her so hard it makes her eyes prick.

She wonders if she will ever be able to harden her heart against him; if she can ever stop herself from loving him.

He watches her silently and for an anxious moment, it feels like he can read her thoughts but then his gaze skitters away and he gestures awkwardly to the couch. "Can I sit?"

Lisa's eyes narrow as she tries to cling to her anger. "I don't recall inviting you in for a night cap, Captain."

The retort might be sharp in tone but it doesn't give her the reaction she was hoping for. Rick doesn't bite, but he doesn't retreat either. Instead he tilts his head slightly and meets her gaze with composure that's borne of all the years he's served and of the equal he's become.

For a split second, Lisa's balance is unsteady. He knows her too well now. She can't hide her heart from him.

"You have two cups and the tea is brewing," he says mildly. "Or are you expecting someone else?"

Lisa lifts her chin, the echo of a challenge in his voice making her rally her defences. "It wouldn't be any business of yours if I was."

For the briefest instant, a stricken expression rolls across his features but he's quick enough to hide it that Lisa wonders if she imagined it.

"Well, then you'd better make it three because I'm not leaving until I say what I have to say."

She opens her mouth to retort, only to find there's not much she can say. Why _did_ she gather up two mugs if she had every intention of kicking him to the curb once he was warmed up like she told herself she was? Why wasn't she marching him right back out her front door now that her duty of care not to let one of the best pilots in the RDF end up with frost bite was complete?

Rick seems to sense the turmoil in her and ventures a step closer, then another. He moves cautiously, as though approaching a wounded animal that may lash out at any moment. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Lisa wants to laugh hysterically at that. Wasn't that what she was? Wounded and bleeding because she allowed herself a moment to hope whatever he felt for her could be something… _more._

She holds herself rigid, tension tightening across her body the nearer he gets. A portion of her mind screams to move away, to protect herself but she can't make her body move and then suddenly he's there standing in front of her.

The broad expanse of his chest fills her vision but she can't see much behind the dampness that unexpectedly appears in her eyes.

"Lisa," he murmurs and the way he says her name makes her want to sob. The warm touch of his hands on hers startles her but she can't bring herself to pull away. The truth was, she was tired, and not because it was the middle of the night.

She dips her head and stares down at their joined hands. He holds her tenderly, one thumb brushing over the back of her palm. Something flutters against her heart, a warmth and a longing that has her wondering where all her anger went even as she desperately tries to remind herself that he's not _hers._

He won't ever be. She just wishes she could find the distance from him to heal and move on but it seemed he wasn't prepared to let her have even that.

"Rick," she whispers, her voice rough with defeat and the pain that grips her heart. "Why are you here?"

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	4. Chapter 4

_I will surrender tonight  
Before we both lose this fight  
Take my defenses  
All my defenses_

"Armor" - Landon Austin

_｡･:*:･ﾟ ,｡･:*:･ﾟ ｡･:*:･ﾟ ,｡･:*:･ﾟ_

* * *

Rick feels better after the warmth of the shower, clear headed and almost fully human again, but when he pulls on the borrowed uniform and walks out of Lisa’s bathroom, he knows he’s a dead man walking.

Lisa is still so angry with him and now that he’s breached her stockades and forced himself into the sanctuary of her quarters, he wonders if it was really the wisest course of action. But he’s here now, and after trying to get her attention for days, he’s selfish enough not to give up this chance.

For a long moment, he doesn’t really know where to begin but eventually he starts with the simplest thing he can.

“Lisa, I’m sorry.”

She doesn’t respond straight away, but she doesn’t snatch her hands away from him as though she has been burned either. He counts that as a small win at least. He stares down at her face as she stands in front of him, close enough that he can count the long dark lashes against her pale cheeks. Her hair catches highlights of gold in the light of her living room lamp and in the echoing silence, Rick’s heart begins to thump with nerves he hasn’t experienced in years.

After a moment more, her hands slip from his and then she’s moving away, putting distance between them. He feels it acutely and he knows what she’s trying to do. Her shields are going up, locking him out of her heart and he can’t help but feel that he deserves it.

He watches silently as she goes to the kitchen to pour the tea but he doesn’t follow. When she returns to hand him a mug, she won’t meet his eye. But she takes a seat and gestures for him to do the same but the moment his backside hits the couch cushions, all the things he had been planning to say to her dry up and flitter out of his mind like dandelions on the wind.

An awkward silence reigns until Rick can’t stand it any longer.

“Lisa, I-“ he starts but Lisa cuts him off quickly. A cool mask has settled over her features, the same one he’s used to seeing over the com, the one she uses in battle. It makes unease gather low in his gut. He doesn’t want to fight with her. He doesn’t want her to reinforce her defenses against him.

“You must have had quite a night out to end up here,” she says flatly, staring into the middle distance. “Did you get lost?”

He clears his throat and stares at his feet. His shoes were still by the door and he wonders briefly how long until he’s forced to put them back on and Lisa sends him on his way. “Uh. It was Bobby’s bachelor party,” he offers lamely.

“I gathered as much. But that doesn’t answer my question.”

He lifts his gaze to her. His voice grows soft. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you, Lisa.”

She’s quiet for a moment, as though digesting that. Then she takes a sip of her tea. She still won’t look at him, sitting primly on the edge of the sofa with her pale pink robe tugged as far over her knees as it can reach. She lifts her chin.

“Well, I suppose alcohol can distort reality a bit.”

Rick frowns at her easy dismissal of his words. “That’s not what it was.”

“No?” she says, disbelieving. She shakes her head. “Then I suppose it was just because Minmei was too busy to take your calls, hmm?”

Rick stiffens involuntarily. Lisa glances at him, a tight line to her lips that should read triumphant that her barb struck home but doesn’t quite reflect in her eyes. Rick’s face flames, although he’s not sure if it’s from anger, frustration… or shame.

He forces himself to take a deep breath. “Alright,” he says slowly. “I guess I deserve that.”

Lisa’s lips purse a little harder. He can sense she’s spoiling for a fight and a few weeks ago he would have indulged her.

“Where were you today?” he asks instead. “I know you were supposed to be on shift.”

The lines of temper fade from her face and Lisa turns away to stare out the window. The snow outside is still falling. It will be a winter wonderland outside come morning. “I wasn’t feeling well.”

Rick absorbs that. “It’s because of me, isn’t it? Because of what I did?”

Lisa scoffs lightly and shakes her head. She raises her eyes to the heavens and says to no one in particular, “why is it that men always seem to think the entire universe revolves around them?”

Rick’s face heats again but he does his best to ignore the jab. He’s not doing very well at this. A rising sense of trepidation fills him. If he doesn’t get this right, he might well lose her forever and he’s already off to a bad start. Up until now, he had genuinely believed she would forgive him and they would go back to their usual arrangement. After all, he tells himself once again, he had gone to see Minmei to close one chapter of his life for good – so he and Lisa could start _theirs_.

But he had gone about it all wrong. And now it seemed as though she could barely stand the sight of him.

_Time to grow up, little brother._

“It wasn’t what you think, Lisa. If you would just give me a chance to explain-“

“Well, it seems I don’t have a choice now, do I? You’re too stubborn to do something as simple as respect my wishes when I say I don’t want to talk to you.”

Rick winces inwardly at the truth of it and tries again. “I really am sorry, Lisa.”

“Hmm,” she murmurs. “You’re saying that a lot but sorry for what exactly, Rick? For showing up here in the middle of the night? Or are you sorry for standing me up? Sorry for going to see Minmei perhaps? Or are you just sorry you got caught?”

“Caugh- Wait, _what?_ Lisa, I… look, you’ve got this all wrong. I know now I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have gone to Monument City that day but you see-”

Lisa cuts him off, impatient, angry and as sharp as a whip. “Well, why wouldn’t you go? Minmei says jump and you say ‘how high’. It’s always been that way and more fool me to think it might ever change!”

Rick can’t help feeling defensive under her pressed attack. It’s never been in his nature to roll over and blithely take it, even when he was in the wrong and he’s always been protective of Minmei, that much was true but… he also felt responsible for her, and probably always would. He’s felt that way ever since he saw her waving at him through the cockpit of the veritech the day the world changed.

“That’s not how it is,” he protests but it feels weak even to him. “She’s just… she’s always so busy and I-“

“And you went running to her side like you always do! I get it, Rick, you love her. But what I don’t understand is how you could leave me waiting there all that time.”

“I tried to call you!”

“You didn’t try hard enough! And then when I tried to track you down, I called the base to find out where you were, if maybe you had been _injured-“_ She squeezes her eyes closed and her voice falls brokenly, anger finally giving away to hurt. “I’ve never felt so humiliated.”

Rick feels sick. He was wrong to think that time would somehow soften Lisa towards him, that she might listen to his reasons _why_. He has no idea how to explain to her what he means when she’s so uncompromising and boiling with hurt.

He catches the shimmer in Lisa’s eyes and he thinks once again about Max and Bobby, their rowdy, drunken conversations about love and devotion at the bar. It had sparked something in Rick, shone a spotlight on something he wasn’t sure he was ready to face yet, but that he knew he wasn’t ready to give up on.

He places his tea on the small coffee table between them with a thunk when it lands a little too heavily in his frustration. He stands up and moves to her side. She looks up, startled, then tries to shuffle away when the cushions dip under his weight. She pulls her flimsy robe more tightly around her body.

“What are you doing?” she demands harshly but her voice trembles under her anger. He notices a glimmer on her cheek that might be a tear but she quickly turns her shoulder to him, shielding her face behind her hair.

It might as well be a stone wall.

“Lisa,” he sighs softly, helpless but unwilling to give up. He needs her to understand. “I tried to tell you that day. It... it wasn’t what you thought. I agreed to see Minmei to settle things, Lisa. I told myself it would be good for us, to finally put all that to bed.”

She blinks at him, a smatter of confusion in her gaze but then her expression twists. “’All that?’” she echoes derisively. She shakes her head in disbelief but Rick ploughs on.

“My… my feelings for her. I wanted to tell her about _us.”_

Lisa scoffs scathingly. “There is no ‘ _us’_.”

Her scorn cuts deep but Rick knows Lisa is striking out because she’s hurt. They’ve squabbled enough over the years that he knows her patterns now. He’s no better. The jarring memory of that morning he showed up on the bridge and ranted at her before sidling up to Vanessa rings bright in his mind’s eye. He’d been trying to hurt her then too.

But if this was ever going to work, one of them would have to be willing wave the white flag of surrender. “You don’t mean that.”

Lisa’s temper surges again. _“Don’t_ tell me what I do or don’t mean. I know my own mind. I’m not some simpering fool like- _like-“_

“Like Minmei?” he finishes warily. “That’s what you wanted to say, isn’t it?”

Lisa rounds on him, fists clenched and her voice climbs in volume. “She manipulates you, dangles her affection for you on a chain and you’re too much of an idiot to see it!”

“Not anymore-” he shakes his head in protest, but Lisa isn’t finished yet. She gives free rein to her fury that leaves him quaking in the face of her storm.

“For years I’ve watched you moon after her, worshipping her even when she barely has a breath to spare for you. How many times have you swooped in to save her, Rick? How many times have you laid your heart on the line for her and she’s walked all over you? Because that’s exactly what she’s done, and it’s exactly what she’ll keep doing for as long as you let her!”

Lisa draws a breath, closing her eyes to centre herself. When she speaks again, her voice is quieter. More broken. She buries her face into her hands.

“She yanks on your chain and then you yank on _mine_ and we all end up heartbroken for it. I can’t do it anymore, Rick. I just _can’t.”_

The silence rings with a finality that has Rick’s chest seizing. What… What does that mean? Is Lisa completely done with him? Has he ruined any chance he has of winning her back? It’s as though she can’t stand the sight of him and he feels weak at the thought.

“That’s over now,” he tries to say but Lisa holds up a hand to cut him off. The rest of his words die in his throat.

“It doesn’t matter,” she says but she won’t meet his eye. Instead she lifts her chin and straightens her shoulders. “Whatever our private quarrels, we still have to work together. We have to move past this, and if that’s going to be a problem for you, perhaps we should consider reassignment.”

The floor all but falls out from under him and a chill slides down his spine. Rick realizes with startling, painful clarity that their fledgling relationship is well into its final death throes.

“Reassignment?” he splutters.

“It would be for the best. I’m sure Admiral Gloval wouldn’t object to my taking on a bigger role on the factory satellite.”

He stares at her profile, a dull, white static filling his brain. He can’t fathom a world where they aren’t together, where she’s not the face he sees on the other side of his screen, where it’s not her voice in his ear when he’s flying for his life and leading him home.

And then the realization hits him hard that Lisa – staunchly dedicated to the service for all her life, a career military woman, a woman who had stared down Dolza in his prime and called his bluff – would willingly choose to walk away from her station because of _him._

The breath is punched out of his lungs and he swallows hard. “Do… do you hate me that much?” he asks, trying to keep the grief out of his voice and failing.

Lisa shudders. It takes a long moment for her to answer and it’s only then that he realizes she’s crying. “No,” she answers roughly. “And that’s the tragedy of it. I never could.”

Rick clings to that, a tiny sliver of hope when all seems lost.

He reaches out gingerly to touch her back. She flinches, but she doesn’t shrug him away so his hand curls a little more securely around her shoulder. He tugs gently, drawing her around so that they’re face to face.

Silent tears stain the corners of her eyes and his heart seizes at the sight of it. Without really thinking about what he’s doing, he raises his hand and cups her cheek, brushing a thumb over the dampness and sweeping it away. Her eyes drift closed and it’s almost as though she’s holding her breath.

Sorrow fills Rick’s chest. He’s been a complete _fool._ He’s wasted so much time and now it’s too late.

It slides through him like a knife. Rick once thought Minmei had shown him what heartbreak felt like but the pain in his chest now far surpasses anything else.

But he’s stubborn. And he refuses to let it end like this.

“Lisa, this can’t be it. I won’t let it be,” he says. He can’t understand his world without Lisa being a part of it, so he simply refuses to try. “I know I haven’t given you a whole lot of reasons to trust me lately, and I’ve made some stupid mistakes in the past. I’ve been a fool and… and I’ve been selfish-“

Lisa makes a small noise of agreement that Rick chooses to ignore, “-but please give me another chance. Please, Lisa. Because I don’t care about Minmei. It’s you. For a long time, it’s only been you.” 

“What?” she gasps. She draws back and as much as Rick wants to chase her warmth, he holds himself in check. The palm he used to cup her cheek drops to his lap. Lisa stares at him, confusion reigning in her eyes.

Confusion - and something else that Rick desperately wants to be hope. “What… what do you mean, Rick?”

Rick finds his throat thick. His heart thunders. There’s the beginning of a thaw – incredibly faint but there. He can sense it in her stillness.

“You, Lisa,” he says. He tries to smile but he feels too exposed, too raw. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize it sooner.”

Lisa’s mouth parts in a soft ‘o’ of surprise then the surprise fades. Her lips purse into a familiar tight line and she shakes her head. “Rick, I don’t… I don’t understand. You’re not seeing Minmei anymore?”

Rick can’t help himself. He laughs derisively, just a short mocking bark of laughter with a bitter edge. He shakes his head. “I never was. I mean- not in the way you thought. She wanted to see me to say thank you for saving her – as if I would ever need a thank you for doing my job!”

Lisa narrows her gaze and too late Rick recalls the kiss Minmei had laid on him after the mission to save her and Kyle was complete. He flushes with the memory. At the time he’d been so relieved to see her safe, basking in her gratitude after riding to her rescue like the hero he always wanted to be and the way she had kissed him… Well, it had been a balm to his ego. It was the grateful kiss he had imagined so many times in so many dreams over the years. Minmei had finally turned to him and saw him as something more but it had taken him a long time to realize her kiss had rung hollow. Not because he doubted her truth of her feelings, but because he had put those dreams away, tucked them aside like a treasured childhood toy to be fondly remembered but left in the past.

But he had meant what he said to Lisa in those moments before he climbed into Skull One prior to the mission. It didn’t matter who the hostages were, he would have done his job to the best of his abilities the same as he always did.

And maybe… maybe Lisa’s sudden doubt of his abilities had stung more deeply than he cared to admit.

_Not the time to unpack all that, Little Brother._

Rick takes a deep breath but there’s a rising sense that it’s time for him to beat a hasty retreat. He can feel Lisa’s unexpected hesitation in the air between them, the tiny window of hope. If he’s not careful, if he pushes too hard when she’s not ready, that opening will slam shut for good.

“I really do care about you, Lisa,” he offers her quietly. He rubs the back of his neck and wishes he could take her hand instead. “And I… I hope you can forgive me, because I don’t want to lose what we have.” 

The angry fire that had burned behind Lisa’s eyes is muted now, the flames banked. Rick doesn’t kid himself that he’s out of the woods, he knows the embers are still smoldering, but at least now Lisa knows his true intentions. Where they go from here, he isn’t brave enough to speculate.

Lisa presses her fingers to her lips. “Rick, I… I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” he tells her hurriedly. He chooses that moment to get up and gather his things before the space between them deteriorates again. “At least not right now. It’s late and I should… I should go.”

He doesn’t expect her to follow but Lisa trails him to the door of her quarters. He can’t guess at the thoughts behind her contemplative gaze, her face is the carefully constructed mask he knows all too well.

He reaches for the doorknob and she surprises him by grasping his wrist suddenly. Rick pauses and tries not to think about how warm and delicate her fingers feel on his skin.

“Will you be warm enough without your coat?” she asks in a low voice.

He hopes his smile is confident enough to be reassuring. “It’s not far. I’ll be alright.”

She hesitates and for a wild, imaginative moment, Rick wonders if she might ask him to stay but then she nods once and steps back to release him. Disappointment surges at the loss of her touch but he pushes it aside as he opens the door. A wall of cool air and snow flurries rush to greet him.

“I hope we can talk again soon, Lisa,” he turns to say, but she has already closed the door behind him.

He walks home with snowflakes in his hair and doesn’t even notice the chill.

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	5. Chapter 5

_'Cause I don't wanna fall in love_   
_If you don't wanna try_   
_But all that I've been thinking of_   
_Is maybe that you might_

"Say You Love Me" - Jessie Warre

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* * *

The chime of the doorbell rouses Lisa from her sleep.

She opens her eyes to sunlight streaming through the gap between her curtains and her eyes gritty from the tears she had shed before, during and _after_ Rick’s unannounced visit. She sits up, pushes the sheets aside and glances at the clock, surprised to see it’s well past ten o’clock. She had dragged herself back to the sanctuary of her bed after Rick left, but she had laid awake for hours replaying their conversation in her mind until she had finally fallen into an exhausted sleep just as the sun was crawling golden fingers over the horizon.

In the light of day, the events of the previous night feel like a dream.

She catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror in the hall and hastily combs her fingers through her hair. She looks tired and unkempt and in that moment, she resolves to ignore the doorbell. Whoever it is on the other side won’t be anyone she wants to see. Claudia would have phoned first, and she would like to hope that Rick wouldn’t be thoughtless enough to show up uninvited twice in the space of twenty four hours.

 _Oh, Rick,_ she thinks to herself as the bell chimes once more. _What on Earth am I going to about you?_

A voice she doesn’t recognize calls out, “delivery!” and a minute later she hears the slam of a van door. After a moments debate, she cracks open her front door to discover a pretty array of pink flowers on her doorstep. Tucked amongst the soft blush petals is a small white card with unmistakable handwriting. 

_I’m sorry. For everything. – R.H_

Lisa stares at the note, then at the flowers. She’s confused by her emotions on the gesture, part of her touched and unashamedly pleased that Rick would think to do something so classically romantic while another part of her still fumes. She tries to remind herself that trinkets and flowers aren’t nearly enough for her to forgive him so easily but something about the few simple words on the card burrow deep into the core of her and take up root.

For the rest of the morning she finds it hard to concentrate. Her brain is still foggy from her interrupted sleep and her heart feels over wrought and drained. Rick had surprised her, confused her and just when she thought she was ready to let him go, he had planted himself in her way and refused to budge. She had always known he could be headstrong and obstinate, but this isn’t a battle Lisa ever thought she would have to fight.

Yet the overlapping thread that keeps weaving through her thoughts is hard to ignore… he _cares_ and she had been so sure he didn’t and now the tiny flicker of hope that they could build something together is threatening to spread through her soul like wildfire. Lisa isn’t at all sure she’s ready to take another chance on that.

Lisa sighs as she wanders from room to room, discarding yet another cup of cold tea she had brewed but couldn’t stomach and for the first time, she regrets taking a week’s leave from her station on the SDF-2 with nowhere to go and nothing to do. She stares at the potted blooms in the centre of her dining table in their delicate ceramic pot and watches the clock, counting down the minutes until Claudia’s shift is over so that she can call her friend and beg her to stop by for dinner on her way home from the base. The rest of the day is channeled into furiously cleaning her entire pre-fabricated quarters from head to toe, as though scrubbing at the walls hard enough is all she needs to do to exorcise her demons.

Finally the sun dips below the horizon and Claudia arrives on her doorstep with a bottle of red wine.

“Oh boy, am I glad to see you,” Lisa says as Claudia walks in. Claudia takes off her coat and drapes it over the edge of a chair before perching herself at Lisa’s kitchen counter. She gives Lisa an assessing look, raking her gaze over Lisa from head to toe critically.

“Well, I would l like to be able to say that time away has been good for you but the bags under your eyes say otherwise.”

Lisa flushes slightly and glances away, turning to rummage in her cupboard for the wine glasses in an effort to hide her face. “You don’t know the half of it, Claudia.”

“Is that so? Well, hand me that bottle and unload it all on me, honey. What’s the latest on this Hayes-Hunter feud, hmm?”

Lisa cringes inwardly at how transparent she must seem, but then again, the first shoulder she had cried on after her picnic plans with Rick went so awry was Claudia’s. Her friend had cautioned her against taking so much time away to wallow but Lisa knew she needed the private time to regroup and rebuild her defenses before she was faced with the prospect of seeing Rick again after he had hurt her so badly.

Lisa fills their wine glasses, taking the moment to rally herself before she answers. “Well, if you must know, he showed up here frozen half to death in the middle of the night last night.”

Claudia blinks. Her jaw drops. “He _what?”_

“Mhmm.” Lisa hands Claudia her wine with a wry smile then takes a tiny sip of her drink. Claudia is still stunned. “I couldn’t believe it.”

Claudia’s startled expression soon gives way to a cunning grin. Her big brown eyes sparkle with a mirth that comes far too easily for Lisa’s comfort. “Well,” Claudia teases, propping an elbow up against the countertop and leaning close. “I assume you invited him in and warmed him right up, didn’t you?”

“Claudia!” Lisa admonishes, her face betraying her embarrassment by staining red. “You know I’m not like that.”

Claudia leans back and laughs brightly, teasing Lisa harder. “Oh, but you must have judging by those suddenly red rosy cheeks! Come on, girl, what aren’t you telling me?”

“It wasn’t like that,” Lisa protest but in spite of herself, she finds herself laughing along with Claudia and it feels good to laugh after shedding so many tears.

“Then I hope you made him grovel,” Claudia smirks as she sips her wine.

Lisa recalls Rick’s pathetic state when he had tumbled in through the doorway and landed at her feet. She told herself she was still furious with him, but it seemed the hurt was easing now that it had finally started to sink in that he’d gone to see Minmei to break it off once and for all and not because he had chosen Minmei over her. She explains as much to Claudia, who listens with rapt attention as Lisa relays the events of the night before and the heart wrenching and surprising conversation she’d had with Rick. It still feels a lot like make-believe and had it not been for the delivery of flowers that morning, Lisa might have wondered if she had hallucinated the whole thing.

“He must have been out there for hours before I let him in. I swear he almost had frostbite.”

“Hm. He wouldn’t be much of a pilot without his fingers,” Claudia winks and after a moment their shared laughter fades away into a companionable silence. The warmth in Lisa’s chest when she thinks of Rick is stronger now, overriding the bad temper she had tried to hold onto so tightly. She wonders what it would feel like to just let it go, to give Rick the benefit of a doubt.

The silence lingers for a moment longer and across the counter, Claudia gives her a meaningful look. “So, honey. What are you going to do?”

Lisa drops her gaze and stares into her wine glass. “I don’t know,” she says quietly. Her heart squeezes in her chest when she thinks about him and she holds a memory of his earnest gaze from the night before close behind her eyes. “I love him but… but he’s going to break my heart, I just know it.”

Claudia frowns at that, her good humor forgotten. “Lisa, that’s loser talk. Don’t sell him short like that.”

“But how can I possibly believe what he says? He’s loved Minmei for years. How can he just… switch it off like that? And how long before he goes running back to her?”

Claudia swirls her wine thoughtfully. “There’s no guarantee he will. But I suppose you’ll never know unless you give him a chance.”

“He doesn’t deserve it.”

“Lisa, Rick isn’t cruel,” Claudia reminds her gently. “He’s a little dense when it comes to matters of the heart, sure. Look who his role model was!” Claudia chuckles lightly to herself and Lisa smiles too, remembering Roy. “But he’s never tried to be something he’s not. Can’t you see that?”

“I can,” Lisa says softly. Then she closes her eyes and exhales roughly. “Oh, Claudia, he _knows_ how I feel about him but he went off with her anyway. Standing me up on a date _he_ asked for!”

“To set Minmei straight from what you’ve told me.”

Lisa’s mouth grows tight. “So he claims.”

“Maybe you’re being too hard on him. If you want to make this work, you need to be able to let it go, Lisa.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“Honey, you’ve loved Rick Hunter for years, and I’m fairly sure he loves you back. At the very least he cares enough about you to beg you for another chance. He wants to be with you, Lisa. Why are you holding back?”

Lisa stares into her wine glass and struggles to make sense of her hesitation. It was true that not so long ago she would have been ecstatic at Rick’s change of attitude but now she worries there will only be more heartbreak and disaster on the horizon. It had almost been safer when she knew Rick’s feelings for Minmei would always lurk in the background. Yes, she cares for Rick, yes she _loves_ him, but there would always be a part of her that understood and begrudgingly accepted that she wouldn’t have all of him. She told herself she could live with that, but then reality had crashed in and she realised too late that she had been lying to herself all along.

But now... Rick with all his guileless charm and hopeless understanding of ways of the heart, is easy enough to love as it is. If he turns his full offensive on Lisa without the safety of his feelings for Minmei in their way, Lisa knows she would be completely powerless and utterly without defence under the weight of it.

It takes courage to be so open and exposed in love, and Lisa isn’t at all sure she has the strength to let herself fall too deep now that she’s had a taste of how much her heart could hurt.

And oh, she may be the decorated Captain Lisa Hayes, known for her strength and bravery under fire, but in this… in this she was afraid.

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* * *

Five long days go by and Rick doesn’t hear a word from Lisa.

Perhaps she’s enjoying making him suffer, he thinks, leaving him to languish in ambiguity and Rick figures it’s probably a taste of his own medicine. He can’t bring himself to believe that she’s done with him, but there’s been no contact, no sign of her and short of showing up uninvited on her doorstep again, he doesn’t know if there’s much more he can do.

In an effort to ignore the growing lump in his chest, he throws himself into his duties. He spends extra time on his reports, takes extra patrols, goes for long, heart pumping runs and even volunteers to put some of the new recruits through their paces in the simulators.

He trains and flies and fights until he’s exhausted, but when he lies down to sleep, rest remains far out of reach. He stares up at the little yellow model plane dangling from his ceiling, the last gift he had received from Roy that he had painstakingly repaired. He had worked on it in the evenings after he had first moved into his quarters during the reconstruction of New Macross city back on Earth. Lisa had been there, peering over his shoulder curiously as he lifted the lid on the box he had stored it in while they were still in space.

“What is that?” she had asked as he carefully pulled out the shattered pieces before recognition had dawned. He remembers the way her eyes softened and she had stepped close to lay a hand against his shoulder, knowing just what the little plane meant to him without him needing to say a word. He remembers that moment, of suddenly being so vividly aware of her. Her touch had been electric against his skin, even through the cotton material of his shirt. He hadn’t realised what it was then, the way his heart was forming and remolding into the shape of her with every lingering hour they spent together.

He traces the plane with his eyes and wonders if there was more he could have said to her, if there was more he could have done. If he only needed to fight _harder_ for her like he never bothered to do with Minmei.

_Don’t push it, little brother. She’ll come around on her own._

The next morning he’s in the mess hall after another long, sleepless night when he bumps into Claudia. He has to scrabble to rescue his mug of coffee from sloshing all over his uniform and balance an oversized muffin on a tiny plate.

“Claudia! Oh, uh. Hi.”

In lieu of a greeting, she places one hand on a slim hip and peers into his face.

“You look terrible,” she says mildly. “Something keeping you up at night, Captain?”

Rick eyes her suspiciously, wondering just how much she knows. Claudia and Lisa went way back and he has no doubts of where her loyalties lie despite the fact she had come close to being his sister in law. Part of him wants to make a quick exit, wary of the scolding he knows she’ll drop on him, but the other part of him is desperate to glean anything, even the tiniest scrap of information regarding Lisa’s current state of mind.

Rick isn’t afraid to admit that the silence from her has been excruciating.

“Could be,” he finally says, aiming for casually noncommittal and falling far short. Claudia gives him a knowing look.

“You’re not the only one,” she says and her gaze turns sympathetic. Rick tells his heart not to leap in hope but it does anyway. “I saw her a few days ago. She told me what you did.”

Rick’s heart sinks as quickly as it rose. “Uh. Which part?”

Claudia’s lips twitch with amusement. “Relax, Rick. She told me everything and I’ll admit, I wanted to strangle you for standing her up and… honestly, what were you _thinking?”_

“But I-“

Claudia holds up a hand to cut him off, dismissing that thread of conversation for something new. She shuffles him along in the line, collecting a few items for herself and gesturing at him to walk with her to a table nearby. “But she also told me you went to apologize.”

“It wasn’t what she thought it was, Claudia,” he says as they take their seats. “I handled it poorly, I know but… uh-“

“I see that now, Rick. But you hurt her. Badly. It’s going to take some time for her to trust your intentions again. What are they exactly, hmm?”

Rick wants to avoid Claudia’s confronting gaze but he’s long since come to terms with the fact that regret has become his constant companion lately. There’s not really much else she can say to him that he hasn’t already said to himself.

He tells her as much with a loose shrug and pushes aside his drink and the barely nibbled at muffin. He doesn’t know why he persists; he hasn’t had an appetite for days. His stomach churns every time Lisa’s voice echoes in his mind, that one word that will dash his hopes and change the course of his life forever.

_Reassignment._

Not long after, Claudia pats his shoulder and gets up to leave but he can’t let her go without asking, even if the answer is one that will send him spiraling.

“Claudia, is she really going to leave?”

Claudia pauses and glances over her shoulder. There’s a crease between her brows, as though she’s not quite sure what he’s asking. “There’s not many places to go, but I suppose that depends on you.”

“What do you mean?”

Claudia sighs, exasperated, as though the answer should be obvious. Maybe it should be but Rick can’t seem to see the forest for the trees anymore. “Give her something to stay _for.”_

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* * *

Claudia’s words follow him home and echo in tandem with Lisa’s and once again he ends up tossing and turning in his narrow bed. Sometime past midnight he finally huffs and rolls over, trying to think about anything else but the way he aches inside. He shouldn’t be a stranger to the sensation, not after how long he pined away for Minmei. But this pain was sharper. Profound. This pain hooked in deep and permeated everything he was.

And who was he without Lisa?

He shoves aside the sheets and sits up, resigning himself to the fact that sleep will elude him once again and wanders into his small galley kitchen to get himself a glass of water. It’s quiet in his small space, not even a hum from the veritech patrols that would be flying overhead and he downs his drink and dumps the glass into the sink before shuffling back into his bedroom where his eye catches a framed photo in the lamplight. It’s long lived on his desk but something makes him venture close and pick it up. The frame is cool in his hands and his own face stares back at him, along with Minmei’s as she clings to his arm in front of a sparkling fountain.

The kid looking back at him from the photo seems unrecognizable now. It feels like too long ago, thrust into a war with the Zentraedi, back when his uniform was shiny and new. He’d felt like an imposter in those hours before his first real mission, like some kid playing dress up in his father’s clothes. Now here he was, a veteran with countless battles fought and a war behind him.

And Minmei… Minmei a superstar.

It almost makes his lips quirk when he had once considered his biggest problem was to how to get Minmei to pay him more attention… and his feisty superior officer to pay him _less._

Rick snorts to himself quietly. _Funny how things change._

He places the frame down on the desk and glances around with fresh eyes. His gaze catches on the poster on the wall nearby. Another image of Minmei. Her dark hair falls in waves over her shoulder as she croons into a microphone. He remembers coming back from a long patrol not so long ago to find his quarters tidied and this poster upside down. At the time he had thought it was Lisa’s idea of a joke but with the memory of their last conversation replaying in his between his ears, he wonders if it was something else that had prompted that small act of rebellion.

It had become clear to him that Lisa hadn’t thought too highly of Minmei’s hold on him but he was long used to the push and pull of Minmei’s moods.

He just hadn’t realised how much they were impacting Lisa too. _She yanks on your chain and then you yank on_ _mine_ _and we all end up heartbroken for it._

Without stopping to think about it, Rick reaches up and rips the poster from the wall. He strides into his living space and does the same to the poster out there. He finds himself energized suddenly as he goes around his quarters and collects the various Minmei artefacts – albums, a doll, magazines, more photos. He hadn’t gone out of his way to collect them, Minmei had always made sure to send him whatever new paraphilia was out and it had been easy enough to stick them somewhere on display then forget about them.

But he hadn’t considered what it all might look like to Lisa.

He stands in the middle of his quarters, wondering what to do with the small collection in his arms before finding a discarded shoebox and dropping the few Minmei items into the empty carton. Her likeness fills it, dark hair, blue eyes and pink lips – overly bright smiles. He had much preferred her before she became a star and when he looks at the images with her face now, he’s not entirely sure he recognizes her from the girl he’d spent two weeks with in the bowels of the space fortress.

He shuts the lid slowly and Minmei’s face disappears from sight. He carries the box to the garbage bin outside and ignores the bite of the frigid path on his bare feet as he dumps the box into the trash. 

It feels symbolic somehow, as though the act of taking away Minmei’s traces had finally dissolved the last ties of her ties around his heart.

And in the shadow of the SDF-1 that looms dark in the distance, he finally feels… free.

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* * *

Claudia stops in on her way back to the base a few days later. It’s become a habit now, and a good thing too because Lisa isn’t sure she would even bother to get dressed were it not for the knowledge Claudia would kick her backside six ways from Sunday if she didn’t.

“How long are you going to hide away from the world, hmm? Honey, the man you love wants to be with you and you’re still moping around in here like your favourite aunt just died.”

Lisa treads the same ancient ground.

“Oh, Claudia,” she sighs miserably. “I just don’t know what to do. How can I allow myself to be hurt again? Fool me once, shame on you but fool me twice-“

“Lisa, why are you so sure you’re going to be hurt? It seems to me like your favourite flyboy has finally done some growing up. He knows what he wants now… or should I say, _who_.”

Lisa pinches the bridge of her nose. “I don’t know, Claudia. It’s all just so sudden.”

Claudia laughs. “Not from where I’m sitting, it’s not.”

“Then what do I do?”

Claudia squeezes Lisa’s shoulders warmly. “At some point, you have to decide if the love you feel for him is worth the chance. You know he cares for you too. Why are you fighting it?”

“Maybe I’m just not that brave.”

“Not that old song again. You’re one of the bravest women I know, Lisa.”

Lisa looks away. “You know, sometimes I think walking head first into Dolza’s fleet would be less frightening than opening myself up to be hurt again.”

“I hear that,” Claudia says dryly and she catches Lisa’s eye as they laugh together quietly. “I saw him, you know. He looked terrible.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“I don’t think that poor boy has slept a wink since he last saw you.”

Lisa purses her lips and tries to squash down her sudden bout of concern. “I find that hard to believe.”

“Is it really so difficult to believe he cares about you?”

Claudia’s soft question makes Lisa look inside herself for the truth. “He says he does.”

“And has he tried to contact you again?”

Lisa huffs slightly. “He’s sent a few messages.”

Claudia’s eyebrows rise expectantly. When Lisa doesn’t offer any more information, she plants her hands on her hips. “Don’t tell me you’re going to make me pry it out of you.”

Lisa’s face feels hot. “It’s just a few messages. He… he wants to see me. To talk, I suppose.”

“Talk, huh? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?” Claudia’s teasing tone is unmistakable and Lisa smiles weakly. Rick had lasted a whole three days before he had tentatively reached out again with a simple email. Lisa hadn’t responded but that didn’t stop him from sending a new message the next day, then another one the day after that.

A small part of Lisa had been relieved to hear from him. In his absence, she had nightmares of searching for him, only to find him willingly ensnared in Minmei’s arms once again. Lisa always woke in a cold sweat with her heart feeling like it was about to shatter into pieces on the floor, reminding her over and over of everything she had to lose.

Once again, a memory slides through her. The echo of his words from that moment on the flight deck before Operation Star Saver plays like a warning. _Yes, I love her very much I won't lie to you Lisa, but I resolved my feelings about her a long time ago. We can never be together._

Then the next time Lisa saw him, he was locking lips with little Miss Minmei herself on the tarmac.

She shakes her head in denial. She had been too quick to trust him then. She won’t make the same mistake twice. How can she possibly trust that _this time_ will be any different?

Some of her inner turmoil must show too clearly on her face because Claudia’s encouraging smile fades.

“Lisa,” she says carefully. “If you keep pushing him away, you might lose him for good.”

Lisa turns over her worries in her mind once again and the apprehension is as violent as ever. Was she to be Rick’s consolation prize because he couldn’t have the woman he really wanted? Was that the real reason he wanted her forgiveness so badly? That he just didn’t want to be alone? And what if she builds a life with Rick, gives him _everything_ and then Minmei decides she wants him back?

“I know,” she says in a rough voice, the ache in her chest so vibrant it stings every part of her. “But maybe that’s for the best. I’ve… I’ve been thinking about reassignment-“

“Reassignment!” Claudia’s eyes grow wide with disbelief and there’s a flash of temper. But she sees the tears Lisa knows are welling in her eyes and her expression softens. “So that’s what Rick meant when he asked if you were leaving.”

“He asked if I was leaving?”

“Mhm. He looked real torn up about it too. Did you say something to him about it?”

“I… I said that if this-“ Lisa gestures vaguely with a weak wave of her hand. “-Is going to be a problem, then we shouldn’t work together anymore.”

Claudia is quiet for a moment then she sighs softly. “You know, I’d be lying if I hadn’t considered it myself.”

“What?” Lisa gasps.

Claudia chuckles lightly. “Well, I wouldn’t go without you of course. But to be perfectly frank, if you and Rick don’t sort this out whatever this thing is between you both, then yes, perhaps reassignment might be the best thing for everyone.”

Lisa casts around for a response but nothing seems to come to mind. She hadn’t expected Claudia to be in sync with her on this. In fact, she had expected a tongue lashing from Claudia and finds herself flabbergasted that it hadn’t eventuated.

But suddenly faced with Claudia’s support and the very real prospect of no longer being in Rick’s orbit either in her personal or professional life, Lisa hesitates.

Claudia’s gaze turns speculative in the silence. Her lips curve into a knowing smile. “You’re not ready to let him go yet, are you?”

Lisa swallows around a lump in her throat. Her heart beat kicks up in her chest and her skin feels hot. As much as her fear grips her, everything inside her threatens to balk hard at walking away from Rick forever. “No, I… I don’t know.”

“If you want him to love you, Lisa, you have to make room in your life for him. Love is a risk, whatever way you look at it.”

Lisa buries her face into her hands as a sob crawls up her throat. “I’m frightened, Claudia.”

Claudia comes close and wraps her arms around Lisa’s shoulders. The warmth of the other woman’s embrace make the tears come faster.

“I know, honey,” Claudia tells her softly. “And only you can decide if you’re ready to take another chance on him. But for what it’s worth, it feels an awful lot like to me that he’s learned a very valuable lesson these past few days. He might surprise you.”

Lisa wipes her eyes as Claudia steps back. “What makes you say that?”

“Oh, you haven’t seen the detail he’s been putting into his reports, lately. Or the extra hours he’s been spending with the cadets. Aside from how shattered he looks and the extra patrols he keeps putting his hand up for, it seems to me like he’s trying to get someone’s attention.”

Lisa shakes her head. “That’s ridiculous.”

Claudia lifts an eyebrow. “Is it? Have you answered any of his messages? Taken any of his calls? Did you thank him for the flowers?”

Lisa looks up, startled. “How did you know about that?”

“You won’t stop staring at them. And I don’t remember seeing them here last week. Rather thoughtful of him, isn’t it?”

“Straight out of the Roy Fokker handbook,” Lisa says sharply then her body immediately floods with embarrassment. “I’m sorry, Claudia. That was-“

“-Not entirely inaccurate,” Claudia shrugs, a smile around her mouth. “At least I know you were listening that night, despite all that wine. Don’t waste any more time, Lisa. You’re a strong woman, Be brave - Talk to him at least and see what he has to say. After all the two of you have been through… well, I think you at least owe him that.”

Lisa turns her gaze on the pale pink potted plant that had taken centre stage on her dining room table. She had watched the buds bloom over the past few days and she wonders now if it was intentional, if Rick had sent her a whole plant in lieu of cut flowers - something that would endure and grow and bloom rather than wilt and die within a few days.

Something _lasting._

Was he trying to tell her something? Could their relationship be like the plant, flourishing beautiful and bright with just the right care and attention? The question hovers inside her before the answer rises up from her core and she realizes that despite everything – she wants to find out.

Claudia was right. She was brave and she was strong… but this time, it would be on _her_ terms. If Rick is serious about a second chance, she wants to see him prove it.

She nods once, her decision made. “Alright then, I’ll… I’ll talk to him. Then we’ll see where that goes.”

Claudia laughs. “’Atta girl!”

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	6. Chapter 6

_I used to be so tough  
Never really gave enough  
And then you caught my eye  
Giving me the feeling of a lightning strike _

“Somebody To You” - The Vamps

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* * *

There are blue skies above the fight deck of the _Prometheus_ as Rick makes his way towards Skull One.

Rick tugs on the collar of his flight suit and juggles his helmet under one arm as he scans the clipboard in his hand. It’s a new day but in other ways, it feels much the same as any other since the SDF-1 finally settled into its new home in the lake after that fateful battle. Nearby, the ground crew shuffle ammo canisters between the dormant mecha and pull back the hoses from the ones ready to fly. Rick doesn’t pay much attention to the hustle and bustle around him and it’s not long until he’s settled into the cockpit of Skull One and readying himself for the mission ahead. This one had piqued his interest and despite his hopes for a lingering peace, he also doesn’t mind admitting he could use a bit of action to shake out the tension that’s become his constant companion lately.

He casts his gaze up to the main body of the space fortress that towers above the city of New Macross. Somewhere in there was the command centre, where Lisa should be. And where she hasn’t been for days.

Static sounds in his ear and the usual chatter that accompanies the start of every mission fills the airwaves. Rick listens in with half an ear, well used to the routine but there’s one voice that makes his voice catch in his throat and his heart thump painfully on the inside of his ribcage.

Then a familiar face appears on his central commo screen. _Lisa!_

“Skull One, you are go for take-off.”

Despite the rapid tattoo of his heart, Rick does his best to keep his expression neutral as he wraps his hand around the stick and snaps a toggle as he runs through his pre-flight checks. A beat later, his engines engage with a comforting rumble.

“Roger that, Command. Skull One moving out.”

His attention is focused on the glowing alphanumeric displays of his HUD as he steers his veritech out onto the runway but he’s acutely aware of Lisa’s face on his screen. It’s the first contact they’ve really had since he walked away from her door that night.

It feels like forever ago now.

“Uh, by the way, it’s good to see you again, Captain Hayes.”

He glances at his screen just in time to see her offer him a small smile and something hopeful inside him soars. He hadn’t expected that.

“I’m glad to be back, Captain Hunter.”

A swirl of warm tumbles about inside him that has nothing to do with Skull One lifting off into the blue sky. _Maybe she’s ready to give me that second chance after all,_ he thinks. After all, Lisa is back at her station - that has to be a good sign, right?

He ventures for a little more. “I trust that your time away was… enlightening?”

Lisa’s expression shifts into her familiar cool mask. She hesitates to answer and Rick knows she’s considering her words carefully. He tells himself not to get his hopes up but when their eyes meet over the comm, they do anyway.

“Yes, very enlightening,” she says quietly. “Thank you for asking.”

If Rick was the fanciful sort, he would swear he would be able to hear angels singing in the distance. A wide smile he can’t help spreads across his face. It had only been a tiny crack in her façade, but it was there. And it was for him.

Lisa seems to realize then that she’s given too much away and she clears her throat. With a tight purse of her lips, she switches back into command mode instantly.

Rick feels better than he has in days. A grin curves his mouth and he tips his fingers in a small, mock salute – a long standing joke between them considering his previous disregard for her orders. He can’t be sure, but he thinks there might be a slight flush across her cheeks. “I’m very glad to hear that, Captain.”

There’s a lot more he wants to say but for that moment, it’s enough to know Lisa is back where she belongs.

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* * *

Rick takes to the skies with his squadron and Lisa cuts the visuals to flip back to her monitors. She’s conscious of Vanessa nearby, sneaking her sideways glances, a distinctly speculative light in her eye. Lisa has no illusions that her every move is being catalogued and recorded to be repeated in avid, lush detail later to Kim and Sammie on the level below the first moment Vanessa gets.

No one had expected to see her when she had walked onto the bridge at a crisp oh-seven hundred hours that morning but the warm welcome Lisa had received from the trio had made her eyes prick and her heart swell with warmth and affection.

It’s nice to know she had been missed, but better yet to put aside her inner turmoil over Rick and finally get back to work.

She gets busy issuing orders to the airborne squadrons as they wing their way towards the southern wasteland outside the currently established reclamation zones. Their mission is reconnaissance today. Strange reports had been coming in for days that had left the top brass skittish enough to send their best to investigate.

And their best meant the Skull.

Barely two hours into the mission, Lisa is monitoring their flight path over the barren wastelands when her display chimes and Rick’s face appears.

“Skull leader to Captain Hayes. Request permission to enable scrambler.”

Lisa’s stomach flutters with butterflies she tries hard to ignore. _Be professional,_ she reminds herself as she nods and flips a switch. Her screen crawls into static for a split second before the image clears.

“Scrambler engaged,” she says curtly, securing her headset more tightly on her head. She likens it to donning her armor, still wary of the turbulent seas between herself and Rick. The last thing she needs is it spilling over onto the mission. “What seems to be the problem, Skull Leader?”

Rick’s half grin under his helmet from earlier is long gone and now there’s a crease between his brows that tells her he’s been brooding away quietly in his cockpit. Lisa’s nerves quiver, anxious about what’s about to come next.

He wastes little time launching into what’s on his mind.

“Does this mean you’re back for good, Lisa?”

The casual use of her name tells her he’s thinking about anything other than his task ahead.

“Captain Hunter, this is hardly the time or place.”

He disregards her rebuke easily but then she knew he would. “Well, you’ve ignored me every other time I’ve tried to contact you. How else am I supposed to get you to talk to me?”

Lisa grits her teeth and tries to ignore the way her heart dances at his words.

“Did it ever occur to you that perhaps you should learn to take a hint?” she says icily but her cold tones don’t ring true even to her own ears.

By the lazy half grin Rick gives her, he seems to agree.

“Well, you never did say I was very bright.”

Lisa’s eyes widen for a heartbeat then she has to bite the inside of her cheek not to laugh outright.

It’s been a long time since they’ve had that argument. During those few short hours they had spent trapped together in the SDF-1 while the battle raged outside. Both of them had left the theatre trying to escape their pain and found each other instead.

Looking back, Lisa had wondered if that was the moment she had started to fall for him. Had Rick been thinking about it as much as she had during their time part recently?

“ _Dope_ is the word I used,” she says dryly. “If I remember correctly.”

Vanessa snorts loudly behind her and Lisa tears her gaze from Rick’s laughing face to throw her a sharp look over her shoulder. Vanessa makes a show of clearing her throat and shuffling down into her seat.

“Sometimes I’m smart,” he’s saying when Lisa turns back. “Admit it.”

She shakes her head and tries once again to bury her amusement under professionalism, reminding herself of the audience nearby. They were all there to do a job and reminiscing wasn’t it.

“I will do no such thing. Go back to your patrol, Captain.”

“Now why would I do that,” he drawls. The teasing note in his voice is unmistakable. He knows exactly what to do to get under her skin. “When talking to you is so much more fun.”

Lisa narrows her gaze. “Hunter, you really are something else, you know that? Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t write you up on report right now.”

It’s an empty threat and Rick knows it. He laughs and the sound of it goes straight to her heart like an arrow. What was it about this man that allowed him to slip past her defenses so easily? It was infuriating and intoxicating all at the same time.

A small silence reigns and Lisa has to remind herself not to fall into the soft blue of his eyes. How many times had they talked like this over the com screen and yet it had never felt quite like this. What is so different this time?

The answer comes to her in a flash of clarity: _Rick is._

As though to prove her point, his expression shifts. His gaze becomes cautious, his tone a little softer. Through her headset, his voice is almost a caress against her ear and it curls around her like a promise. “I’m really glad you’re back, Lisa. Maybe we can, uh… have dinner together tonight?”

Lisa stiffens. It’s too fast, too soon. Her heart thunders too painfully inside her chest and it takes her a long moment to realize that despite her willingness to give Rick more of her time, she’s still terrified she will wake up tomorrow and this will all be a dream.

She tries to buy herself some space. “I’m not sure about that.”

“Huh,” Rick chuckles, but it’s dry and resigned and a little sad. His easy smile slips. “You’re really going to make me work for it, aren’t you, Captain?”

Everything inside her wants to reach out and touch the image of his face on her screen but fingertips of fear rest against her throat.

“Fool me once…” she whispers.

His expression falls and all his good cheer fades away into something pained, possibly a little angry. “That’s not fair, Lisa.”

“Life isn’t fair.”

“Yeah, and don’t I know it,” he mutters. He sighs, as though he’s close to defeat. “So what do you want me to do? Beg? Will that make a difference? Because I will, Lisa. If that’s what it will take for you to give me another chance, then I will.”

Lisa’s fingers curl into a fist against her skirt and she has to swallow thickly around the lump that’s suddenly appeared in her throat. Her voice almost cracks when she thinks about everything she has to lose if he breaks her heart again.

Then Claudia’s voice slides in her mind – _If you keep pushing him away, you might lose him for good._

She’s silent for too long and Rick’s face falls even further. “I can’t lose you, Lisa,” he says roughly in a voice laced with desperation. “Not when I’ve finally realized how much you _mean_ to me.”

Lisa is dimly aware of Vanessa’s small gasp behind her, listening in to every word but somehow, she doesn’t care. All she can focus on is Rick. Blood rushes in her ears.

“Rick…”

On her screen, Rick winces unhappily and shakes his head, as though finally remembering where they both are.

“I know, I know, “ he mutters unhappily. “You’re right, this isn’t the place to be talking about this, but if I don’t say anything when I have the chance I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. But I’m not sorry about this. I’m not going to let you-”

Before he can finish, an alert sounds and Lisa’s monitor lights up with pinpricks of red. Her screens blare with reports of missiles shooting from the surface, barreling directly for the squadron flying overhead. Lisa forgets everything save for the fact the man she loves is suddenly in danger.

_“Rick!”_

“I see them,” he says grimly and the visual cuts out as he charges Skull One into the fray. “Max, Bobby, dive low and take out those hostiles! Miriya, you’re with me.”

The firefight lights up the screen and commands and reports burst over the airwaves. Lisa’s heart is in her throat. “Be careful, Skull squadron, there could be more of them!”

“Acknowledged. Don’t worry, we’ve got this.”

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* * *

Rick does his best to focus on the mission and push his private thoughts of Lisa out of his mind. He should be well practiced at it after the past few weeks, but it’s much harder to do when it’s her voice in his ear and her face on his screen.

They put down the rebels with practiced ease and he’s soon occupied with scouting the base they’d stumbled across. There was barely anything left of it, a few tattered tents, some piles of white and grey that Rick is startled and sickened to realize are piles of bones. Whether they were micronized Zentraedi or human, he’ll leave that to the salvage crews to determine.

“It was a suicide run,” Miriya says quietly over the comms as they pass low over the still flaming wreckage. “Faced with starvation, they would rather die in glorious battle. It is the Zentraedi way.”

“That’s brutal,” Bobby mutters and Rick finds himself echoing the sentiment.

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* * *

Back in the command centre, Lisa waits impatiently for further reports. The entire skirmish took less than a few minutes but when it’s over she feels weak with relief. She sinks into her seat as Rick’s face reappears over the com.

“Hostiles neutralized.”

“I want a damage report, Captain Hunter.”

“Not even a scratch,” he informs her with a ring of false bravado. “That goes for me and my men.”

Lisa exhales a note of relief and squashes down the flicker of pride. He was an amazing pilot and a fine leader. And to think she once had doubts about him in the service. It almost makes her laugh now.

“I’m relieved to hear that. Now you’re due in the south east quadrant, bearing nine delta five, Captain. Please direct your squad.”

“Roger that, command.”

He flips a toggle and she listens in as he issues his instructions. Usually she could flip the display to another screen but with the com still open, she takes a moment to watch him. His face is slightly flushed under his helmet, the adrenaline no doubt still pumping after that recent skirmish. His dark hair flops over one eye and she has to ignore the sudden, curling desire to reach through her screen and smooth it away from his face. 

Once he’s given out his orders, his gaze finds hers again. “You never did answer my question earlier, Captain.”

Lisa had been so deeply in thought that his wry comment catches her by surprise. She frowns. “What question?”

Rick’s lips quirk. There’s a second of hesitation before he plunges in and Lisa knows instinctively what he’s about to say just by his pause alone. “So, will you have dinner with me tonight?”

For a long moment, Lisa forgets where she is, caught up in the gentle way he asks the question and the soft look in his eye. Gone is his previous cockiness and smug attitude, instead this is a glimmer of the man he had been that night he had shown up on her doorstep half frozen. The one who had chipped away at her defenses and hard anger and utterly disarmed her but then the general chatter of the bridge environment fades back in and Lisa’s face heats. “Captain Hunter, honestly. That is highly inappropriate.”

He looks amused at her flustered indignation. “Never stopped us before.”

For a split second, Lisa is annoyed at the implication that she is less than professional in her duties but he wasn’t entirely incorrect. She hears a chuckle from behind her and glances over her shoulder to see the trio bunched together at Vanessa’s workstation, snickering into their hands.

Her temper flares hotly, but mostly from embarrassment. “If I say yes, will you stop going on like this?”

“Like what? All I did was ask you to dinner.”

“You know what I mean. Like… like _this?”_

She can see him struggling to hold back a smile. “Depends,” he drawls and too late Lisa sees the spark of victory in his eye. “Are you going to say yes?”

“Rick, you’re really starting to make me regret coming back.”

For a split second, his expression is wounded and Lisa immediately regrets her words. She doesn’t mean them. She has no intention of going anywhere. All that talk about reassignment… No, she couldn’t go. Not now.

Possibly not ever.

“I’m sorry,” she says softly. “I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t mean it.”

“No, I get it,” he says, uncharacteristically subdued. He glances sideways, as though looking at something over his wing and his mouth curves downwards. “I’m pushing too hard, aren’t I? I told myself I wasn’t going to do that but here I am badgering you over the comm.”

His contrite manner steals away all her heat. She doesn’t want him to feel bad, and she doesn’t want him to retreat. And why was she fighting him on this anyway? There were bigger battles they needed to fight and it was pointless wasting her energy on trying to keep him at arm’s length when it was clear that neither of them wanted the distance between them in the first place.

She takes a deep breath and shuts out everything but Rick on the other side of the comm. “Alright,” she says softly.

It’s clearly not the answer he was expecting because he blinks then eyes her suspiciously. “I’m sorry, what was that?”

“I said alright,” she repeats. “I’ll have dinner with you.”

She sees him reach for a switch on his control panel. “Uh, can you just run by that me again? I think you’re breaking up, Captain.”

She turns sharply to a side screen and frowns as she takes in the readouts. If something was playing havoc with his communications, it might mean another attack is imminent but her screens show nothing remiss.

“That’s strange. There’s no interference on this end.”

“None here too. I just wanted to hear you say it again.”

Lisa huffs in exasperation. “Honestly, Rick-“

“So, my place. Eighteen hundred hours,” he tells her firmly. His grin is back and Lisa is struck again by how devastating it could be. Does he know how much that smile of his makes her legs weak? But then his words have a chance to register properly in her mind.

“Your place?” she asks, surprised. She hadn’t been on many dates but she had assumed somewhere in the back of her mind that a date involved going out. Last time he had wanted to go for a picnic.

Rick is silent for a moment, as though wrestling with something inside him. “Well, uh, we could go out somewhere… if you’re more comfortable doing that.”

Lisa is touched, and a little impressed by his consideration – idle chatter over the com in breach of all the rules notwithstanding – as she considers his offer.

“I don’t mind, Rick. Besides, there’s still a lot we need to talk about.”

Rick nods in agreement. “Hm. Yeah, I suppose we do. So… it’s a date?”

Lisa tries to ignore the memory of the last time he said that and the events that followed. Still, they led them to where they are now so she shrugs it off.

“Yes,” she says. She waits for the cloud of anxiety to churn around her and fill her mind with doubts, determined to beat it back, but strangely it doesn’t come. Rick gives her another smile that makes her stomach swoop happily before he signs off.

Lisa can feel the trio waiting over her shoulder, silent with bated breath. She turns slowly and pins them all with the most stern and imposing look she can muster.

“Not. A. Word.”

“Uh, oh, what have they done this time?” Claudia says as the door slides open and she steps through. She casts an amused glance over the girls in their huddle by Vanessa’s station.

“We didn’t do anything,” Kim says with a huffy glance in Lisa’s direction. She hops off her perch by the console and drags Sammie with her out the door and back to their level below.

“For once,” Vanessa mutters and she turns back to her screens.

Claudia glances between Lisa and Vanessa curiously, one eyebrow raised questioningly. “Seems like the wastelands weren’t the only place that there were fireworks, hmm?”

“So it seems,” Lisa agrees, hoping her face isn’t as flushed red as it feels.

Claudia, of course, notices immediately. “Care to tell me what’s going on?”

Lisa hesitates, her face burning. Claudia glances at Vanessa, who turns around and mouths the words _date_ and _Captain Hunter_ to Claudia.

Claudia’s eyes widen. “Well, why didn’t you say so?”

Lisa glances up to find Claudia watching her in amusement. “What?”

Claudia’s eyes dance with that familiar light. “You finally came to your senses, huh?”

Lisa’s cheeks colour. “Maybe.”

“Maybe?”

“Yes, alright. I agreed to have dinner with him tonight.”

Claudia eyes her expectantly. “Well, what are you still sitting here for? Get going!”

“But I’m still on duty!”

“Not any more you’re not,” Claudia tells her firmly. She tugs on Lisa’s arm marches her over to the door that leads into the corridors and bowels of the command centre beyond. “Don’t worry, I’ll cover for you.”

“What? Claudia, no, I-“

Claudia leans in to whisper a valuable piece of advice against her hair. “Make sure you wear something pretty.” She smacks Lisa’s arm lightly. “And smile more!”

She gives Lisa a gentle shove and wriggles her fingers in a wave as the door to the bridge begins to close. “Bye, honey,” she sings out, just as the door slides shut mere inches from Lisa’s nose.

Lisa stares helplessly at the closed door then sighs in exasperation. “Well, that’s that I suppose.”

She turns on her heel and heads towards home, a fluttering anticipation trailing in her wake.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is adored <3


	7. Chapter 7

_Your love has won me over,_

_I'll always stay here by your side_

_My safety and my shelter_

“Your love is my home” - The Light The Heat

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* * *

It takes Lisa three outfit changes before she finally settles on an elegant green dress with long sleeves and a pleated skirt that ends just below her knees. She pairs it with a black belt that emphasizes her trim waist and slips on her only piece of jewellery – a delicate silver bracelet that her father had given her for her sixteenth birthday and now the only thing she has left of him.

After donning a pale pink scarf, she gives herself a quick spritz of her favourite perfume before slipping on her fur trimmed boots and a warm coat to ward off the frigid air on the short stroll to Rick’s quarters. She could easily take a cab, but it was a beautiful evening outside despite the cold and she needs the walk to calm her trembling nerves.

Is she excited? Nervous? Worried? She can’t tell. The butterflies in her stomach are doing battle in a way that almost makes her want to cancel, but she’s determined that tonight whatever it is that has been brewing between Rick and her battered heart will finally reach a consensus once and for all.

By the time she steps outside, moon is already beginning to rise beyond the city skyline. She starts down the path under the patchy glow of the street lamps where she passes a few enlisted personnel as they return from their shifts on the base not too far away. They nod to her in greeting and cars hum by on the street. It’s a night much like any other yet with every step that she takes, Lisa can’t shake the whimsical sense that she just might have a meeting with destiny.

Finally she turns onto Rick’s street and the familiar red letterbox waits for her at the edge of the path. There had been many times she would stop by his quarters, straightening his messy sheets and tidying away his dishes when he was out on patrol. At the time, she had told herself she was simply being neighborly, stepping up to lend a helping hand so that when he returned battle worn and weary from his long, grueling missions out in the wastelands, he would have something worth returning to.

And by extension, perhaps she then would be worth returning to.

It makes her face heat a little at the recollection. Her feelings had been so obvious, how he could not have known how deeply she cared for him? Or had he known all along and was simply taking advantage of her lovelorn heart?

A flicker of unease burrows into her stomach as she makes her way down the short pathway to the door. It’s shadowed in darkness and Lisa spares a moment to close her eyes and take a deep breath of the cool night air to steel herself for the evening ahead.

Be brave, she whispers to herself.

She lifts her hand but before she has a chance to knock, the door swings opens and a rush of warmth and light spills across her feet.

“Lisa! You came!” Rick’s face lights up, bright and joyful, then he shakes his head ruefully. “What am I saying? Of course you came. Please come in.”

His greeting surprises her. “Hello, Rick.”

He seems so genuinely relieved to see her that Lisa spares a private thought to wonder if perhaps he thought she wouldn’t show up. A tiny part of her whispers that maybe she should have kept him waiting, much like he had left her on the day of their picnic, just to give him a little taste of the anguish she had felt, but she pushes the thought away as quickly as it comes. That would be vindictive and petty and Rick had been trying to show her how much he regretted his actions.

Besides, she tells herself, her ingrained military training simply wouldn’t allow for tardiness.

“I’m not late, am I?” she asks shyly, already knowing the answer. The fluttering wings in her stomach leave her feeling unsettled and awkward.

Rick shakes his head as he steps aside to allow her through the doorway and into his tiny galley kitchen. A pot of water boils on the stove and the air is filled with the tantalizing smell of something delicious baking in the oven. It’s warm inside and she tugs at the scarf around her neck.

“You? Late?” Rick chuckles. “I can’t imagine you’ve ever been late to anything in your life.”

Lisa’s spine stiffens involuntarily until she catches sight of the curve of his mouth. He’s teasing her, she reminds herself, although something about his comment pricks too close to old insecurities and old arguments to be entirely comfortable.

She decides to ignore it for now, unwilling to start their evening off on a bad note and telling herself it’s just her nerves making her so anxious. “It’s rather toasty in here,” she comments instead, taking a moment to slip off her coat. “Do you have the heat turned up or is that the oven?”

“It might be turned up a little more than usual,” he says sheepishly. “After that night on your doorstep I feel like I’ll never get warm again.”

“Honestly, I’m a little surprised you didn’t get sick.”

“Nah,” he shrugs. He pretends to flex his muscles playfully but his grin feels forced. “Not me. I’m as tough as they come.”

“Tough is one word for it.”

She offers him a slight smile to show she’s trying to go along with his teasing but the beats feel off. There’s still too much unspoken tension between them despite Rick’s best efforts to barrel past it.

“And I suppose you would use something else, huh, Captain?”

There’s a faint echo of a challenge in his voice that feels more familiar, more like the Rick she’s used to. This time her small smile is genuine. “Mm, stubborn, perhaps?”

He smirks slightly. “I prefer… determined.”

She’s spared a chance to answer when the pot on the stove behind him trembles precariously then promptly boils over. Rick spins at the sound of hissing water and rushes to turn down the dials.

“Damn, sorry about that,” he mutters when he turns back to her. There’s a faint stain of pink across his cheeks but then he zeroes in on the coat she has draped over her arm. “Here, at least let me take your coat into the bedroom so it doesn’t get crumpled.”

Lisa glances back at the stove. “I can do it, Rick. It looks like you have your hands full here anyway.”

For a second it looks like he’s about to argue and he holds her gaze a fraction too long. Then he softens in relief even as the pot threatens to bubble over once again.

“Thanks, Lisa.”

There’s something about the way he says it that curls around her and follows her as she makes her escape out of his kitchen. She clutches her coat to her chest like a shield as she moves, wondering how she’s going to make it through this evening with him with her sanity and her heart still intact.

Unlike her own quarters, Rick’s space is much more compact and utilitarian in style. With only a single bedroom attached to the cosy, central living space on one side and a kitchen on the other, it doesn’t leave a lot of space for the sofa and the small table set off to the side of the room. Lisa pauses as she passes it, her heartrate turning fast and furious when she spots a small vase with a single flower between the two plate settings.

She forces herself to look away and flips on the light in the bedroom, noting absently that Rick had clearly tidied up his usual chaos in anticipation of her visit. The bed sheets were tucked taunt and crisp with a military precision that would have made her father proud. The thought makes her lips quirk as she lays her coat carefully across the foot of his bed.

She turns to leave when something different about the space registers at the back of her mind and she takes a second glance around. On Rick’s bedside table rests his brother’s old flight helmet, the grey and black tones a familiar and long missed sight. Rick had inherited it from Claudia, the helmet being a too painful reminder of the love she had lost for her to keep. Lisa had seen it there on every visit, although she’s unashamedly relieved to realise that the dreaded photo album that had been there on her last stop seems to have been put away.

The album was gone, but there was also something new in its place she hasn’t seen before - a simple silver frame, not unusual in itself but the photo inside it makes her breath catch in her throat regardless.

It’s a photo she knows well. A photo of her, from the small collection she had presented Rick with not so many weeks ago in a fit of heartbroken weakness. She had so badly wanted him to see her as something more than just a fellow officer, a colleague or even a friend. She had wanted him to know that Minmei wasn’t the only woman out there for him, that he had someone right in front of him that would love him more than Minmei ever could. He had told her he had put the photos in his album, but never in her wildest dreams had she expected this.

She forces herself to move, not wanting Rick to think she’s snooping by lingering too long in his private spaces but as she turns and scans the walls and surfaces of his room, she realises that it’s not just the frame that’s different or the album that’s been put away.

It’s difficult to process the sudden wave of emotion that rolls over her. What did it mean? Lisa doesn’t dare to hope but it flares bright in her chest anyway.

Rick is waiting for her in the living room when she finally turns out the light. She hugs her arms to herself, wishing she had some kind of defence against the hope that beats so wildly against her ribcage.

Rick studies her closely for a moment. “Lisa, are you alright?”

“I… I’m not sure,” she says truthfully. She can’t seem to find her words, her head too full of the possible implications of Rick framing a photo of her in his bedroom.

Rick doesn’t seem all that surprised by her confession. Instead, he rubs the back of his neck nervously, like he’s been expecting this and wondering how to broach it. “Lisa, look, uh... About today. I’m sorry for ambushing you on the com.” 

That makes her lips twitch. Her hopes take flight in a way that she knows might leave her hurting one day but she can’t seem to find it in her to care. A subtle glance around the Rick’s living room confirms what she hadn’t let herself think too deeply about – the posters and Minmei paraphernalia were nowhere to be seen.

“No, you’re not,” she shakes her head and offers him a shy smile to let him know she’s not angry.

Not anymore.

Visible relief washes over him. “Guilty,” he says but he looks away awkwardly briefly before turning back to her, his eyes blue and earnest. “You know, I thought I was going to have to resort to smoke signals just to get you to talk to me again.”

“You don’t have to do that, Rick. I’m here now.”

He smiles. “Yeah, you are.”

A small moment passes as Lisa drinks him in. He watches her with an expression that’s full of relief and warmth, like a sunrise on a new day.

It is a new day, she supposes. This evening together could be the start of something new between them if she can just allow herself to take the chance.

She thinks about that night she found him on her doorstep in the cold, the messages…. The flowers.

“I… I haven’t thanked you properly yet,” she says softly when the air between them grows thick. A vision of pale pink blooms fills her mind. Rick frowns slightly.

“Thanked me? Thanked me for what?”

“For the flowers you sent me,” she blushes. She’s not sure why her cheeks suddenly feel so hot. “They were lovely. And I appreciated the gesture a great deal.”

“I should have sent them a long time ago.”

Lisa doesn’t know what to say to that. The remorse in his voice is unexpected and the silence grows thick until Rick clears his throat and glances away.

“Well, uh, please. Make yourself comfortable,” he motions towards the sofa.

“Thank you,” she says, grateful for the heaviness to be momentarily dispelled. She smooths her dress under her as she takes a seat, expecting Rick to join her but he doesn’t. Instead, he ducks back into the kitchen.

“Would you like a glass of wine?” he calls out over his shoulder. “I asked Claudia what you like to drink and she suggested I find you some of this.”

He reappears in the doorway holding up a bottle and even from the short distance away where she sits, Lisa spies a familiar logo. A small gasp of amazed delight escapes her.

“Oh! That’s my favourite, Rick. How did you even find that?”

He smiles in relief as he ventures back into the room. He places two wine glasses down on the coffee table in front of her then produces a bottle opener from the pocket of his jeans.

“That’s strictly classified, Captain,” he winks at her and Lisa watches him closely as his brows furrow in concentration as he works on opening the bottle. She hadn’t had a real chance before now to admire how attractive he looks out of his uniform in dark denim and a button up shirt in a soft buttery tone.

He pours the wine into a glass then hands it to her with a theatrical bow. “For you, m’lady.”

“Oh, thank you,” she says, bemused and taken by surprise by his lightheartedness after so much tension between them. Their fingers brush as she takes the glass from his hand and awareness zings through her of just how close he is.

“You’re welcome. How is it?”

He waits patiently until she takes a sip. She closes her eyes to savor the mouthful, knowing that wine like this was rare as gold in the years following the Rain of Death and likely never to be made again. There were synthetic versions created by the industrious civilians aboard the SDF-1 but their creations would never compare to the genuine article. She hums in pleasure as the flavour bursts on her tongue and a small voice at the back of her mind warns her she will need to go slow. She will need to keep her wits about her tonight and the wine goes down a little too easily.

“It’s delicious. You have excellent foresight, Captain Hunter.”

“Was that a compliment, Captain Hayes?”

Her lips twitch behind her glass. She takes another sip. “I’ve been known to give them out on occasion. I can’t imagine this wine came cheap, though.”

He shrugs, nonchalant but his eyes are flushed with a mixture of pleasure and relief. “Anything to get back on your good side, Lisa.”

Lisa finds herself flushing at that. He was certainly working hard on his objective now. “And what did you have to give up?”

“Skull One,” he says regretfully as he places the wine bottle down on the table. “Looks like I’ll be walking everywhere from now on.”

Lisa can’t help the small laugh that escapes her at the mental image his mournful comment invokes. She feels warm and when she looks up, he’s watching at her with a smile that seems almost indulgent before he breaks himself out of the moment with a nervous rub against the back of his neck.

“I’d better go check on dinner. It should be ready soon.”

“Need any help?” Lisa asks, thinking about the all the times in the past that they had eaten together. None of those occasions had quite the same things at stake as tonight’s effort but Lisa still wants to offer.

Rick shakes his head wryly and waves her away. His thoughts must have travelled along the same path hers had. “Not tonight. I want to do this for you, Lisa. I need to.”

“Oh. Alright then,” she agrees hesitantly, not sure what else she should say and not prepared to argue.

Rick heads back into the kitchen and soon she’s listening to the sounds of pots and pans clanging together. She smiles to herself when he starts to hum loudly as he busies himself with preparing the meal. Lisa is grateful for his preoccupation; it gives her a much needed chance to adjust to the changes in their dynamic. She hadn’t been entirely sure what she would be greeted with when she had arrived tonight – more heated words, perhaps? But instead Rick has been solicitous and cautious and even playful and Lisa isn’t entirely sure what to make of it all.

Dinner turns out to be a pleasure. Rick keeps the food unassuming - a simple pasta dish with a rich homemade sauce, some fresh bread and a small salad but in Lisa’s eyes, he has outdone himself. She’s speechless by the care and attention he’s put into the meal and it doesn’t escape her attention that he had chosen to prepare something that he knew ranked among her favorites.

He’s been thinking of her. She can see it clearly in everything he’s done - the photo, the meal, the wine. All this time she had thought that he didn’t care, that he hadn’t been paying attention, but somewhere deep down he had been all along.

She’s almost too overcome by the realization to eat, but the pasta and fresh bread is aromatic enough that it reminds her she hasn’t eaten since a hastily snatched coffee break in the Officers mess hours earlier. She picks up her fork just as Rick does the same.

“This looks lovely, Rick.”

His mouth curves in a smile but this time it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He’s nervous, she realizes, startled. As nervous as she is.

“Don’t speak too soon,” he says dryly. “You haven’t tasted it yet.”

“I’m sure it’s delicious.”

He hesitates, suddenly looking uneasy and Lisa feels the sudden change in the atmosphere around them immediately. “Rick, what is it?”

It feels like a long time before he can bring himself to answer.

“I hope this is enough, Lisa. This… date- “ he emphasizes the word and Lisa’s heart thumps painfully in her chest in a strange mixture of relief and fear. “-It might not be some fancy restaurant but I know how much you love Italian food and I... uh-”

“I don’t need fancy,” Lisa rushes to reassure him. All Lisa has ever wanted was something real. She had hoped she could have that with Rick, built on shared history, trust and friendship. He can’t possibly know how much his actions over the past few days have healed the pained cracks in her heart. “I don’t need bright lights and fancy restaurants.”

Unlike some, the thought snakes unbidden and unwelcome through her mind.

Rick’s eyes flash up to study her face and too late she realizes he’s thinking it too. And just like that, Minmei’s glittering spectre looms over them.

Rick looks like he’s struggling with what to say and Lisa wishes she could take back those last few words. She sighs inwardly with frustration. Even when she’s not mentioned by name, somehow Miss Minmei always seems to be there, hovering around the edges and breathing down Lisa’s neck. Lisa almost starts to despair if she will ever be free of the pop princess or if Minmei will forever be the third person haunting her relationship with Rick no matter what form it takes.

“But sometimes I might want to spoil you,” he says tightly after a moment.

Lisa takes a breath before she answers. “And you’re welcome to, Rick,” she tells him, a blush stealing across her cheeks at the dizzying thought of Rick spoiling her. What could that possibly entail? Does she dare hope? If tonight is any indication, Rick is going to sweep her off her feet. “As long as you understand I don’t need it.”

Rick looks back at her, a slight tightness around his mouth. The last thing Lisa wants is their night spoiled, or for Rick to be thinking about Minmei when he’s with her so she forces a smile and reaches for her wine. She quickly changes the subject, steering the conversation back to them and the meal they’re sharing. “I can’t remember the last time anyone cooked for me. This is special, Rick.”

Instantly his expression changes. The stiffness across his shoulders eases and he glances up at her from under that mop of dark hair she adores so much. “Yeah?” he says, hopeful.

“Mhm. I hope you know I appreciate the effort you’ve gone to.”

His cheeks go adorably pink. “It, uh… it was nothing, really. The least I could do.”

Lisa has to hide her smile. “Well, I appreciate it none the less.”

His face flushes ever so slightly but he hesitates to take a bite until Lisa has her first taste. It’s as flavorsome as she knew it would be and she tells him as much.

They both begin to eat.

Despite the simplicity of the meal, it was clear to Lisa now, even in the deepest, most doubtful part of her, that Rick wasn’t playing games any longer. She may have been able to pretend before that she could keep him at arm’s length, save whatever shred of her dignity that was left, but she can’t anymore.

But there’s a comfort in sharing a meal with Rick. It‘s familiar and easy despite their twisting and reshaping relationship and Lisa is grateful to discover that even under the weight of past hurts and misunderstandings, their friendship is still the beating heart of the bond between them.

To begin with, they keep their conversation light, discussing inane, casual subjects before delving into discussing the continuing reconstruction efforts and the RDF’s plans for the future – subjects that are never far from either of their minds. She tells him about the rumors of a new academy in the works and Rick regales her with some good natured complaints about the abysmal flight scores from the latest batch of new recruits. His indignant and animated retelling of one of the most recent incidents in the simulators makes Lisa laugh out loud and it’s a bright peel of happiness that catches them both by surprise.

A wistful expression flickers over Rick’s face at the sound but he covers it quickly with a mock scowl.

“Well, I’m glad you can laugh about it, Captain. I’m not so sure my nerves will ever recover.”

“I’m sure you have it all under control.”

He snorts mildly then throws her an amused glance over his plate. “Got any tips for wrangling cocky, over-confident trainee pilots for me?”

Lisa’s lips twitch as she takes a sip of her wine. “Oh, I’m sure I can offer you a few. There was one I distinctly remember dealing with that was particularly troublesome.”

Rick pauses mid chew and his eyes narrow. “Oh, really?”

Lisa fights back a smirk, delighting in ruffling his feathers just a tiny bit. Rick has had her so off kilter recently, especially after his pestering over the tac net that she doesn’t mind needling him just a little in return.

“Mhm,” she nods as she places her glass down. “Although, I’m not sure how successful I’ve been in taming that one,” she adds with a dismissive shrug. She takes another bite of her pasta.

There’s a small silence and Lisa glances up to find Rick watching her intently.

“More successful than you know,” he says quietly.

Warmth curls inside her at his words and he surprises her by reaching across the table and taking her hand. “I’ve really missed you, Lisa.”

Lisa’s heartrate flutters against her throat. Neither of them can ignore the elephant in the room any longer and Lisa isn’t entirely sure she even wants to.

“I missed you too, Rick,” she answers. “I really did.”

He’s still as her words settle over him but then he seems to shake off the moment. The next time he looks up at her, the light is back in his eyes and his easy smile is as irreverent as ever.

But he doesn’t let go of her hand.

They finish their meal with their fingers still linked. Every now and then, Rick gives her a gentle squeeze that sends her heat whooshing through her veins and it’s only when he has to gather up their plates that he finally lets go.

Lisa offers to help him clean up but Rick sternly mock orders her to sit down and relax and she finds herself throwing her hands up in amused surrender. “Alright, alright, I know when I’ve been told.”

“Now, that’s more like it, Captain.”

She laughs and moves back to the sofa with another glass of wine, surprised to find the bottle is almost empty. There’s a warm glow lighting her up from the inside but as she watches Rick move about in the kitchen, she knows it’s not just from the wine.

She stares into her glass and wonders if this could be a small snapshot of what a life with Rick might feel like. Could they really build something together, take their relationship further? Simple meals, easy company, the gentle teasing. They’ve been through a lot together but they’ve both grown during the war, both in different ways. She likes the way he moves, how he can be so cunning and lethally shrewd battling in the skies, but just a little hopeless when it came to navigating life on the ground. Can she be the one to help ground him, she wonders. Or is he better with someone else with their heads in the clouds as much as him? Someone like Minmei? A memory of the two of them together flashes through her mind and Lisa has to admit what a handsome couple they’ve always made together. The dashing war hero pilot, the much loved media starlet – she wouldn’t be able to escape it. They would be all over the tabloids, even more so than they were now.

But Rick would probably have to give up his flying to live that life, something Lisa isn’t sure she would never ask him to do. Privately she wonders if Minmei would then experiences an inward burn that she’s so uncharitable towards the singer. She doesn’t hate Minmei, as much as she wishes she could, despite Lisa still considering her to be her competition in the fight for Rick’s affections.

What was it her father would always tell her? You can’t win the game if you don’t play the game, Lisa. Remember that.

But if she lets herself take the leap… Perhaps not a lot would even change for them. Rick had no intention of resigning his commission, he was as committed to the new world they were trying to build as much as she was. They could both stay in the service, they could continue with the rebuilding and maybe… maybe they could even start a family like Max and Miriya had.

A strange, wistful longing washes over her at the thought of having Rick’s children – of raising a child together. _If it was a boy, they could call him Roy-_

“A penny for your thoughts?” Rick says as he approaches, startling Lisa out of her reverie. She jumps slightly, almost spilling the wine. It swirls around in the glass dangerously and she hurries to place it on the coffee table in front of her.

“Oh,” she gasps, her cheeks burning.

“You were a million miles away there.”

He takes a seat at her side and places two small bowls onto the table.

“I was day dreaming,” she laughs quietly, embarrassed to be caught out. She presses one hand to her face, grateful for the low light of the lamp in the corner of the room to hide the burn of her scorched cheeks.

Rick looks at her oddly, his head tilted to the side. “About me, I hope.”

He’s teasing but Lisa only flushes harder. If only he knew the direction of her thoughts. Would he be scared off by her mentally drawing _Lisa Hunter_ on all the spare spaces of her mind? She laughs inwardly to herself. Probably.

She turns her focus instead onto the two bowls Rick had put down - a decadent dessert full of chocolate and cream. Her eyes grow wide. “Oh, Rick, I couldn’t possibly eat another bite!”

Rick picks up a bowl and a spoon and feigns hurt. “But you have to. I slaved away all day making this.”

“But it’s too much,” she tries to wave him off but suddenly he’s zooming his spoon slowly through the air. Schooling his face into an intently serious expression, he mimics the sound of a static burst then affects his best Skull-Leader-over-the-com voice.

“This is Skull Leader, requesting clearance for landing. Come in, Captain Hayes.”

Lisa narrows her eyes as he flies the spoon around once again. He wasn’t really trying to spoon feed her, was he? Perhaps he had mistaken her for Dana.

Rick’s lips twitch and the corners of his eyes crinkle with humor. “Come in, Captain Hayes.”

“You’re ridiculous,” she informs him primly, sticking her nose in the air.

His response is to make another silly plane sound, louder this time and she snaps her gaze to him only to find his eyes bright with mischief. Her heart can’t help the mirth that dances up inside her with every bizarre engine noise he makes. She tries so hard to hide her amusement but she’s also quite sure that if she swallows another bite she just might explode.

“Captain Hayes,” he coaxes once again. He’s still trying to keep a serious face but at her mock glare, his expression breaks and he dissolves into laughter.

Oh, Rick, she thinks, drowning in the sound of it. Lisa finds herself falling in love with him just that little bit deeper.

Oblivious to the freefall of her heart, Rick clears his throat and reverts back to attempted seriousness. He waggles the spoon again, carefully so that none of the cream and chocolate goes flying.

“You’re not getting off that easily, Captain,” he tells her firmly.

She purses her lips and shakes her head in firm denial but it doesn’t deter him in the slightest. He keeps moving the spoon closer, even when she holds up a hand to signal stop. He doesn’t relent and she doesn’t give in and the end result is a gentle collision of cream against her mouth. Whether his aim was off due to too much wine or if he had planned it that way, she’s not entirely sure but she watches in fascination at the way his entire body goes still and his gaze suddenly drops to her mouth when she darts her tongue out to lick the sweetness around her mouth away.

He swallows thickly, the silly airplane noises quickly forgotten. A wild thrill rises up inside Lisa when she realizes the effect she seems to have on him. There’s something there she hasn’t seen before, something in his eyes that makes her feel overheated and… desired. Rick had mostly held himself in check with her, to the point she wasn’t entirely sure if he even saw her as a woman except that she remembers how hungrily he had kissed her back on the bridge of Breetai’s ship despite declaring she would have to make it an order for him to go along with it in the first place.

She wonders now if that kiss had haunted him as much as it had haunted her. Was his initial reluctance something else? Too close to something he didn’t want to admit even to himself perhaps?

Noting the sudden yearning in his eyes makes her think maybe she had been wrong to underestimate his physical attraction to her. She can see it now - it’s written plainly across his face. It’s unmistakably hungry, unmistakably needy. It should alarm her but instead the knowledge coils and settles into her core that she has the ability to make him react that way. It’s her that makes his eyes turn dark and his voice crack when he finally tries to speak.

It’s an intoxicating realization.

His earlier mischievousness is long gone when Rick finally pulls his stare away from her mouth and their eyes meet. The longing she experiences – that sweet ache just behind her breastbone that makes her want to reach for him - is reflected back on her through his eyes.

“Lisa, I’m… I’m really glad you came tonight,” he says hesitantly, all his previous humour forgotten.

“I’m glad I came too,” she whispers. She’s caught up in his eyes, swimming in a blue sea, all soft and languid.

Without breaking their stare, Rick drops the spoon into the bowl on the coffee table but the clatter it makes against the glass barely even registers. Lisa can’t take her eyes off him, her breath tight in her chest and unable to escape the notion that this may be one of the most significant moments of her life.

The bob of his throat is the only hint that he is as vividly affected as she is.

She aches to reach for him but somehow her body refuses to move. She wants to speak but there’s nothing she can say to put into words how desperately she wants him to kiss her. Can he sense the power he has over her in this instant? That just one touch from him will shatter every carefully erected barrier that’s ever existed around her heart?

“Lisa,” he murmurs, his voice rough in a way she’s never heard it before. His eyes have turned dark, like stormy skies over the ocean. “Can… Can I kiss you?”

In lieu of a verbal answer she knows she can’t form, she simply closes her eyes and lifts her chin. It’s a perfect reprise of another moment long ago, in a distant star system with danger all around them but her stomach fills with the same butterflies. This time, she feels the gentle touch of his fingers on her cheek first and her eyelids flutter, but then his lips covers hers, warm and tender.

Their mouths fit together perfectly, but of course she always knew they would and the touch is sweet and unhurried in a way their original kiss in front of Dolza never could have been. Her limbs grow weak, the wine consumed with dinner making her body turn boneless and her heart sing in blissful contentment.

Lisa allows herself to linger in the moment, drinking it in and memorizing every beat, hoping beyond hope that there will be many more moments just like it to follow.

It’s not their first kiss, but it’s the first one that really matters.

｡･:*:･ﾟ ,｡･:*:･ﾟ ｡･:*:･ﾟ ,｡･:*:･ﾟ

* * *

Rick had been given a taste of Lisa all those years ago when they were captives on Dolza’s command ship and while it hadn’t been a hardship at the time – quite pleasant, in fact – he was completely unprepared for how breathtaking it was to kiss Lisa now with all their years of history, friendship and affection blooming in the spaces between them.

Lisa is soft against his mouth, sweet and placid in a way that makes his world feel blurred around the edges. It’s filled with a dreamlike quality, soft and fuzzy not totally unlike like what they experience when they undertake a space fold.

And any doubts he may have secretly harboured are long gone in wake of that simple kiss.

He kisses her again, sweetly and deliberately, still hesitant after all the turmoil that had brewed between them. The weeks without her have dragged and he wants to savour this. He wants to savour the way she melts into him, one hand curling into his shirt and gripping it tightly as though she’s afraid he might try to escape.

Rick almost wants to laugh at that. His days of trying to escape from her lips are long over.

He curls his hands around the slim curve of her waist and draws her closer. He feels her smile against his mouth and he thinks about how that has to mean he’s doing this right and it makes him feel a little bit more daring, a little bit braver and it makes him think that maybe, just maybe, this is what love might feel like.

That thought skitters through his mind on a blur as nebulous as smoke but it’s soon forgotten as he threads one hand into her silky hair, cupping the back of her head gently as he strives to deepen the kiss. Lisa responds to him like he hoped she would, parting her lips and moving with him in an easy rhythm he knew they could find together. She sighs against him and allows him to chase the taste of wine on her tongue. It’s startling how everything about her fits against him so beautifully but Rick reminds himself to tread carefully. Not too much too soon, although by the sweet way Lisa responds to him, he wonders if he’s given her enough.

After a long while they reluctantly pull apart. He’s lightheaded and breathless, drunk on the taste of her mouth. It takes him a moment to focus and he finds her shyly pressing her palms to her pink cheeks, futilely trying to hide the flush that spreads across them. Already her lips are a blush rose from their kisses and on some primal level deep inside him, Rick relishes the knowledge that she looks like that because of him.

He tries to disguise how intensely she had affected him by forcing out a small chuckle. Even with past experience telling him how weak her kiss could make him, it was still a struggle to find his cool.

“That good, huh?” he teases mildly. “Maybe if I had kissed you like that the first time, the war might have been over a lot sooner.”

Lisa pulls her hands away and huffs out a small laugh. He’s wary of the way she avoids his eye suddenly and alarms ring briefly when she moves away slightly and sits up, primly smoothing out her dress over her knees. If he hadn’t seen the tell-tale twitch of her mouth, he might have been concerned he said something to offend her.

“That sounds like to me that you may be over estimating your abilities, Captain.”

She follows that with a coy glance and Rick blinks once before letting loose a breathless laugh that makes it feel like butterflies are exploding from his chest. He shakes his head. “Always there to put me in my place, aren’t you, Captain Hayes?”

“Well, of course. Someone needs to keep you in line.”

A cautious hope leaps in Rick’s chest. There’s an opening here, an opening to broach what it is he really wants from her – and its more than just companionship over dinner and sweet kisses on the sofa.

“And are you volunteering for the job, ma’am?”

He sees as soon as he says the words that she knows what he’s asking for. Their evening had gone beyond his wildest dreams, but it still may not mean she’s ready to take a chance on him again. And he badly wants her to, he realises. He badly wants Lisa in his life.

He thought he could live with being her friend if it meant that she wouldn’t request reassignment to the factory satellite, but perhaps he hasn’t grown up as much as he told himself he had, because he knows in that moment that just friendship won’t be enough.

He wants everything, but he’s not sure he has the right to ask.

She grows quiet and the playful light fades from her eyes. She looks down at her lap, fiddling with a non-existent stray thread as she gathers her thoughts.

With every second that passes, Rick feels his hope slipping. Maybe the dinner wasn’t enough, maybe the kiss wasn’t enough. Maybe she won’t ever be able to move past his selfishness that day in Monument City.

His stomach churns uneasily.

“Rick, before I give you my answer, I need to ask you something important… Only I’m not quite sure how to say it.”

Hope once again flares in Rick’s chest. “Ask me. Just come right out and say it. I promise I’ll answer you truthfully, Lisa.”

Lisa raises her head and regards him silently for a moment and Rick has to swallow down a intense wave of frustration. Despite their kiss, a chasm as wide as the distance from here to Pluto yawned suddenly between them. He tries to squash down his panic - he can’t seem to find his footing where Lisa was concerned. Instead of the leap he was prepared to take, it felt an awful lot like he was shuffling one step forwards and two steps back in some crazed, painful dance that he could never hope to know the steps to.

“Rick, I… I don’t want to have to ask this, but I promised myself I wouldn’t let myself be humiliated again-“

Rick winces inwardly. So that was the problem. He had long since tried to console himself with the fact that if she had just stopped to listen that day in the park, she would have realised there was nothing sinister going on.

It doesn’t forgive him for leaving her there all day though. For sitting at the bar to in an attempt to drown out the voice in his head that berated him again and again. He should have flown back to New Macross the moment Kyle dragged Minmei out of the restaurant. Lisa would have still been at the cafe, he wouldn’t have been caught up in the uprising and they probably would have been able to salvage their date. Who knows where they would be now if he’d done that.

“- but I need to know your feelings for Minmei. I need to know if you still love her.”

Until now, he hadn’t given much more than a passing thought to Minmei that to hear her name – especially out of Lisa’s lips - was jarring. He was naive to think Lisa would believe him that he had put his feelings for Minmei aside, not after he had dragged the misery of their pathetic excuse for a relationship around with him for years.

He tells himself he had to know this moment would come. That he would have to eventually own up to his feelings for Minmei to Lisa if they were to have any hope at all together.

And the truth was… Yes, he did still love Minmei. It was impossible to go through the things they had together and not form some sort of attachment. And it was true that in the beginning, he had harboured hopes of making her his girlfriend and he’d loved the shiny ideal of her from afar, but it had been a long time since he’d fallen asleep thinking about her or woken up with her on his mind. It turned out that that particular honour had fallen a long time ago to a sharp gazed, green eyed commander instead.

The fact of the matter now was that although he did and always would love Minmei, he simply wasn’t in love with her. Not anymore.

“I promised I would tell you the truth, Lisa,” he starts, resisting the urge to squirm. His face feels hot and his heart thumps wildly. After that kiss, he realises that he has so much more to lose if Lisa decides she’s not prepared to take another chance. Part of him wants to deny, deny, deny, to fill Lisa’s head with empty platitudes, tell her all the things he thinks a woman wants to hear but he forces himself to meet her gaze unflinchingly. He owes Lisa the truth and whether she forgives him or not, he’ll be able to walk away knowing that at least in this… he was honest. “So I will. And… yes. I do still love Minmei, and I probably always will, but I’m-“

He watches her close her eyes and turn her face away and he rushes to continue. “Lisa, wait,” he says tenderly, gingerly reaching out to take her chin and turning her face back to him. Ever courage under fire, Lisa meets his gaze unflinchingly, almost a hit of challenge in her eye as though daring him to even try and take her for a fool.

He hadn’t realised how much he adored that spark and his feelings for her grow undoubtable in a way they’ve never been before. “I do love Minmei, but I’m not in love with her. Because… _Because I love you, Lisa.”_

_Where had that come from? And how did I not realise it until now? I love Lisa. I love her!_

Time freezes and the stunned refrain echoes through his mind. It was a truth he hadn’t quite admitted to himself and the words hang heavy and bold in the air between them. But he doesn’t regret saying them when he realises they had been there deep inside him all along.

He’s willing to stand behind the conviction of those words. He’s ready to lay it all on the line.

For Lisa, he would do anything.

Lisa’s eyes widen and shimmer and a soft gasp falls out of her. She shakes her head slightly, as though she’s trying to shake off the lethargy of a dream. “Wh- what did you say, Rick?”

In her lap, her hand trembles and Rick reaches out to grasp it.

“I swear I’ll make you happy,” he says but there’s a tightness in his throat that makes it hard to get the words out. Now that they’re on his tongue, he wonders why he’s never said them before. “I’ll take care of you, Lisa. I love you.”

There’s a small sound, like a cross between a hiccup and a sob, and then Lisa is trying to wipe the moisture from her eyes. “Rick…”

“I do,” he says again, his voice cracking. “I love you.”

She stares at him, and he holds himself still. If he hovers in this moment, if he stays right here, there’s no risk he will hear her rejection.

She reaches up and traces her fingertips along his jaw. Her gaze is full of a glimmering softness. “I love you too, Rick,” she says quietly. Her thumb brushes over his lip and for a moment he wonders if she’ll kiss him again. “But I suppose you already knew that.”

He wants to sag with relief but he schools his mouth into a regretful smile instead. The past few weeks, her temper and her distance had shaken everything in him.

“For a while there, I wasn’t sure if you even _liked_ me.”

She blinks in surprise then lets out a soft gasp that might be a held back laugh. She slides her hand into the hair at the back of his neck and draws him close, touching their foreheads together.

“Oh, Rick,” she says softly. Happily. He basks in her touch as her slim fingers thread through his hair and the scent of her subtle perfume fills his nose. He feels full and content and more than a little grateful.

After a long moment, he clears his throat. “Would it be alright if I kissed you again?”

His request has the desired effect. She leans back and throws him an exasperated frown. “You don’t have to ask every time you want to kiss me, Rick.”

“You never know,” he teases her gently as he gathers her close. His heart is so light now that she finally knows how he feels and she folds into his arms willingly. “I wouldn’t want to end up court marshalled for getting handsy with a superior officer or anything.”

She laughs shakily and he tilts his head down to press their mouths together once again. He almost sighs into the kiss this time - there’s relief there, relief that she is willing to take another chance on him when she’s already given him plenty, relief that he has finally been able to shake off the shackles of old dreams and hopes. Relief that she knows his heart and he knows hers.

He feels like he’s taken a step forward, he’s grown up, and he hopes that wherever Roy is, he’s proud of him.

_You’ve done good, little brother._

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	8. Chapter 8

_I've never opened up to anyone  
So hard to hold back when I'm holdin' you in my arms  
But we don't need to rush this  
Let's just take it slow_

“Just A Kiss” – Boyce Avenue

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* * *

Rick has little intention of letting Lisa escape too soon but their evening together passes quickly and he loses track of the hours with her in his arms.

They had talked some more, laughed some more and kissed some more, and Rick had felt every word, every touch settle somewhere deep inside him, filling up the void that had been gnawing inside him for so long.

He can’t remember the last time he felt so relaxed. The restlessness he had been feeling, the uncertainty of what the future might bring in the new world humankind was trying to forge alongside the Zentraedi – it doesn’t seem to hold power over him now that he knows he has Lisa at his side.

He recalls the words Max had said to him that night in the bar. _…all the noise just… stopped. And when I'm with her, I feel calm._

_So this is what peace is,_ he thinks to himself as Lisa curls against his side, her head against his shoulder and her hand splayed over his shirt. He wonders if she can feel the rapid tattoo of his heart under her fingers, if she knows that his heart now thumps in tune to the sound of her name. Their relationship had been fraught with fireworks but now there’s a harmony that he couldn’t quantify even if he tried.

He just knows he’s never felt like this before.

He tugs her closer, still amazed to realize how perfectly her lithe frame fits against his side. She had kicked off her boots long ago, and her stockinged feet tuck up behind her on the sofa. Although she had refused to indulge in dessert, Rick had contented himself with dining on the taste of her mouth instead.

And whatever lies ahead, they’ll face it together. Rick knows that now.

“It’s late,” Lisa murmurs after a long while. Music plays softly on the speakers of his radio, tuned to a station that pre-dated the battle fortress crashing to Earth. He protests softly at the thought of letting her go but when he glances up at the red glowing numbers of the clock near the window, they tell him it’s well past midnight. “I should go.”

Rick struggles to summon the will to release her, but they’re both due on shift tomorrow and he knows he should probably let her go home. When he finally does, Lisa pulls herself upright and Rick finds himself missing her warmth almost instantly. Her hair is slightly mussed from where he’s been playing with it and her lips are swollen and rosy from their long, lingering kisses.

He doesn’t think she’s ever looked quite so beautiful.

“I want to ask you to stay,” he tells her quietly, longing threaded through every word. He reaches out to curl a stand of her hair around his finger absently. He loves her hair, he’s discovered. It’s soft and silky and the colour of honey in his hands. “But… I, uh… don’t want to rush you either.”

A small part of him is proud of his maturity when he says it, even though all he really wants to do is pull her back into his arms and hold her forever. He knows he can be selfish, self-absorbed, but he wants to do better for Lisa. Wants to _be_ better.

And if that means taking things slow, then he’s good with that.

She raises her eyes to his and for a moment he can see his own yearning reflected in her eyes. It takes everything in him not to reach for her and pull her close to him again. Instead he forces his hands into closed fists and clears his throat.

Lisa does the same, breaking eye contact and shaking off the heavy beat. Her face flushes beautifully as she turns away. 

“I really should be going now,” she says, running a self-conscious hand through her hair. She shuffles away and reaches for her boots, bending down to slip them back onto her feet.

Rick stands up and gathers up his own shoes. “I’ll walk you home.”

“Rick, it’s so late and you’re on duty tomorrow,” she protests. “There’s no need.”

“I’m not letting you walk out there by yourself this late at night.”

Lisa looks like she’s not sure if she should be annoyed or amused or warmed by his adamant protest. She casts him a hooded glance but ultimately her eyes soften.

“I can take care of myself, you know,” she reminds him gently.

Rick remembers all the times she had proven that first hand. “I know. But then I can’t give you a kiss good night.”

Lisa’s eyebrows rise and her lips twitch with a blushing smile she’s trying to hide. “Oh? And are you planning to tuck me in too?”

Rick tries not to let it show on his face how much he would _really_ like to be able to do that. Clearly he fails because she rolls her eyes and swats him teasingly with a nearby cushion.

“Hey,” he laughs as he plucks the cushion out of her hand and flings it on the floor. He slips close and curls his arms around her. He presses his face into her hair and breathes in the fragrance of it that is so uniquely Lisa. “I just want more time with you. You were avoiding me for so long. I missed you.”

She goes still in his arms and he draws back warily.

“Alright,” she says, her eyes soft with a teary shimmer. She strokes her fingertips down his cheek lovingly. “I would like that.”

The air is still cool outside and the street is illuminated by the glow of the lamps and the stars overhead. There isn’t much traffic on the roads at this time of night so it’s quiet. In the distance, the looming shadow of the SDF-1 watches over the city. Lisa holds his arm as they walk and he thinks about how this is how it should have been all along with them. Maybe it would have been if only he had come to his senses sooner.

It doesn’t escape him how fortunate he is. Now that Lisa has forgiven him, he vows to stay worthy of her trust.

At her doorstep, he kisses her cheek lightly, almost formally, then steps back into the night. The last time he had stood on her doorstep, things between them had been very different. “Good night, Lisa.”

“Goodnight, Rick,” she says softly as she closes the door.

He walks back to his quarters, his heart lighter than it had been in years.

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* * *

Rick strides into the hangar with his helmet tucked under one arm, his back a little straighter and a very definite bounce to his step.

Max watches him pass by with a small grin. He nudges his wife gently and nods in Rick’s direction. Miriya glances over and turns to her husband with a knowing look.

“Looks like the Captain is in an unusually good mood today,” Max says.

Miriya raises an eyebrow. “Perhaps your talk with him the other evening helped.”

“Oh, it definitely did.”

“Yes, you can be quite persuasive, my love.”

Max grins at her and plants a quick kiss on her cheek before grabbing his own helmet and rushing off to catch up with Rick. “Skipper, wait up!”

“Oh, hey, Max. How are you today?”

“I’m great, but it looks like you have a new spring in your step. Did something happen?” Max slides Rick a shrewd glance. “Something between you and a certain lady in your life?”

Rick keeps his face forward but there’s a small smirk to the shape of his mouth.

“You could say that.”

Max really wants to hope that Rick has sorted things out with Lisa. It’s clear that after days of moping around, Rick has obviously reached some sort of epiphany… but was it his affection for Minmei, or Lisa that had obviously found root? If it was the former, then he would try to be happy for his commanding officer but… well, ever since that day he saw Lisa and Rick locking lips on the battlecruiser, he’s seen something between there that both of them had been too blind to see.

And Max knows love when he sees it. Or at least the potential for it.

He matches Rick’s stride, pace for pace as they leave the shade and quiet of the hangar and venture out onto the tarmac. He decides he has to tread cautiously here. “And does it have something to do with a particular commanding officer up in the command centre?”

Rick tries but he can’t stop the quirk of his lips. He gives Max a sideways glance but keeps his eyes trained on Skull One in the distance. “It wouldn’t be very gentlemanly of me to kiss and tell, Max.”

Max’s grin gets wider and he mentally pats himself on the back. He was immensely pleased that Rick had heeded his advice that night in the bar, although he had to admit he had his doubts at one point. When Rick had disappeared half way through the celebrations, Max had hoped for a better outcome, except that Rick had returned to duty more miserable and cranky than ever and Captain Hayes was still nowhere to be found.

Thank the stars they finally worked things out.

He nudges Rick. “Oh, so there _was_ kissing involved, huh?”

Rick struggles to keep a straight face. “Maybe.”

Max chuckles. “Well, all I can say is that it’s about time!”

Rick stops in place. It’s noisy out on the tarmac, the wind buffets and blows their hair around and the air feels hot from the growling engines of the nearby mecha. Rick turns to Max, eyes bright with a clarity that makes him suddenly seem older and wiser beyond his years.

“You know, Max, I never gave you enough credit about your feelings for Miriya. You knew the moment you saw her how important she would be to you and the two of you fell in love and now have a partnership that anyone would envy. I can only hope Lisa and I can be half as happy as you both.”

Max has to work hard to hold back his surprise. This was a side of Rick that Max didn’t see often. “Ah, why, thank you, Rick. That’s really kind of you to say.”

“I mean it. I was… blind… for a really long time.”

Max chuckles and grips Rick’s shoulder warmly. “I wasn’t. Didn’t I always say that Captain Hayes was the one for you?” He catches sight of his wife approaching in her vibrant red flight suit and draws her into the conversation. “I did, didn’t I, Miriya?”

“You did, my love. Although I don’t believe you said as much to Rick.”

Both Sterlings turn to look at Rick, who frowns and shifts uncomfortably under their combined attentions.

“I definitely don’t remember you saying that to me,” Rick mutters. “Anyway, enough about that, it’s time to get to work. Where is Bobby? He’s supposed to be helping us whip these new cadets into shape today.”

Bobby jogs over just as Rick turns around. He gives Rick and the rest of the Skull a quick wave.

“Ready and eager to go, Captain. But promise to quit it with all the lovey dovey chit chat with Captain Hayes on the com, huh?”

Rick scowls but Max can see he’s not really offended. Probably too high on life and love for that. Max can only hope that Rick’s improved good mood hangs around.

“Hey,” Rick complains with mock annoyance. “I’m your superior officer, Bobby. Watch that tone or you’ll end up demoted back to Alpha squad.”

Bobby grins and snaps off a quick salute but he’s laughing along with Max and Miriya. “Sir, yes, Sir!”

Bobby dashes off to his veritech before Rick can think to make good on his threat. Max watches in amusement as Rick shakes his head and his lips twitch in a smile in spite of himself. “The insubordination. Boy, I guess now I know how Lisa feels.”

They laughs as they head towards their mecha.

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* * *

Lisa’s shift in the command centre is barely half done when she overhears the terrible trio whispering behind her but she chooses to ignore it. She’s in far too good a mood for anyone to spoil it, not even the rumors that are sure to be flying thick and fast around the base.

Yes, it was official. Captain Hayes was no longer giving Captain Hunter the cold shoulder and it seemed that all the world was a brighter place for it.

The girls giggle again and Lisa lets out an exasperated sigh. “All right, ladies. If you’ve had your fun, can we please get back to work?”

It’s Sammie who answers first. Always the one to be in love with love, she’s hoped for Rick and Lisa to get together for a long time. “It’s just so exciting, Captain!”

Lisa has to work hard to hide her smile. It had been next to impossible to keep her cool façade when Rick had checked in with the rest of the Skull for their patrol earlier. His face appeared on her monitor over the tac net and her heart swelled, bursting with flowers and rainbows as she recalled his words from the night before.

_Because I love you, Lisa._

It seemed he had been thinking along the same lines because he snuck in a compliment sweet enough to make her blush and had pressed his fingers to his lips in a kiss. Then he’d winked as he signed off, leaving her uncharacteristically flustered and at the total mercy of the girls’ wild imaginations.

“Well, I just hope it’s for real this time,” Vanessa says, a touch of worry in her voice. “I don’t know if I can handle another argument like the one a few weeks ago, Captain!”

The other girls gasp and Kim looks like she wants to throw her headset at Vanessa. Vanessa’s face flames red but she’s unapologetic. She glares back at them stubbornly. “You know I’m not the only one thinking it!”

“Oh, Vanessa, you have no idea do you?” Sammie admonishes her, casting a sideways glance at Lisa. “What a terrible thing to say!”

The girls start to squabble heatedly amongst themselves but Lisa smoothly cuts them off before they can get too worked up.

“It’s alright, ladies. No offence taken. But break time is over. If you don’t get back to work and stop this chatter, I’m going to tweak those duty rosters and give the B squad an extra-long weekend,” Lisa says dryly.

There’s a chorus of protests that dies out quickly when she turns around to level a frown at them. Sammie and Kim scamper back to their stations and then a blessed silence reigns over the bridge of the SDF2.

For a little while, at least.

_For what it’s worth, Vanessa, you and I hope for the same thing,_ Lisa thinks with a sigh.

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* * *

Later in the afternoon, Rick waits for Lisa in the hall outside the bridge of the SDF-2.

Sammy spies him through the doorway where she’s huddled at Vanessa’s workstation with the rest of the trio and her face lights up in excitement. She’s about to alert Lisa with a tap on her shoulder but Rick quickly waves his hands and holds a finger to his lips to warn her to be quiet. She nods and settles down, casting him sly glances along with Vanessa and Kim. Even from in the hallway, he can hear Lisa giving an earful to one of the new recruits over the tac net, and he can’t help but chuckle to himself in memory of when that used to be him on the receiving end of that sharp temper. Who would have thought that the same woman tearing strips off wayward trainee pilots could be the same one that laugh breathlessly against his ear and who could kiss him so sweetly it would make his toes curl?

He leans against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest and waits, nodding occasionally to the few passing officers he recognizes. No one is particularly surprised to see him there, although the relief crews give him an unabashedly appraising look and a few of the younger techs even giggle as they slide past.

Finally Lisa and the trio finish their hand over and he straightens as she approaches the door. She has a hand to her temple, rubbing gently. She seems tired, but it all melts away when she looks up and sees him waiting for her.

“Rick! What are you doing here?”

Before he has a chance to answer, the trio pushes past with cunning looks and loud titters.

“Oh, Lisa, look who’s here,” Sammy teases.

“Hello, Captain Hunter. Fancy seeing you here,” Kim winks at him. “Did you come to see us?”

“Uh-“ he starts but he’s quickly cut off by Vanessa sidling up close. He blinks at her in alarm when she peers into his face and he wants to step back only to find the wall at his back.

“I hope you’re not here to ask me out again, Captain. I do have a boyfriend, you know.”

“No! Uh, no, that’s not what I-“

Thankfully, Lisa comes to his aid, cutting his stuttering mercifully short. “Alright, ladies, that’s enough,” she says dryly. “Leave Rick alone.”

“Are you sure, Lisa?” Sammie eyes Rick with a gleam in her eye he’s not sure he likes. “We can give him the shovel talk if you like.”

“Yeah, we should have done it ages ago,” Kim shoots a glare at Rick that has him throwing his hands up in surrender.

“The shovel talk?” he stammers, bewildered and more than a little alarmed. “What is _that_ supposed to mean?”

“Thank you, but that won’t be necessary,” Lisa swoops in firmly, lips twitching with laughter. Rick throws her a grateful look.

The girls giggle loudly and Vanessa gives him a double thumbs up that makes his face heat. He’s not sure when his private life became such an open book with this group but he’s long since resigned himself to the fact he can’t escape it.

“Have a good night, Captains,” Kim waves with saccharine sweetness at them both then tugs Sammie and Vanessa away. The girls wander off down the hall on the echo of chittering laughter and the click of high heels.

“Whew, they’re a handful,” Rick comments when they’re finally alone. He’s still wondering what Sammie meant about the shovel talk before ultimately deciding he doesn’t want to find out. She might be small and the youngest of the group, but Sammie was formidable in her own way.

Lisa chuckles lightly. “We don’t call them the terrible trio for nothing,” she says. She gives him an assessing glance, as though she’s not quite sure why he’s there. “Is everything alright?”

He nods as they start to walk through the hallway side by side. “Of course it is,” he says brightly. “I just wanted to see if I could take my girlfriend out to dinner tonight. Maybe even a movie too. What do you think?”

He almost doesn’t notice her stumble as they walk, too busy thinking about the evening ahead. “Lisa! Are you alright?”

“Is that what I am?” she asks quietly, her face flushed as she stares at her feet. “Am I your girlfriend now?”

Rick casts her a wary look, suddenly uneasy. Had he misread things? Was he rushing her? Last night they had both confessed their love and to Rick the next logical step was a relationship. He promised himself he wasn’t going to dither around like he had in the past and he didn’t want there to be any confusion of where they stood with each other. He had been down that road once before and it was messy and paved with the potential for misunderstandings and broken hearts - he doesn’t care to repeat it.

But he also didn’t want to make Lisa uncomfortable either.

“Uh, well, that is if you want to be,” he says as they begin to walk again. “But if you need more time-“

She stops him in the hallway with one slim hand on his arm. They’re alone for now, but any moment other officers and enlisted personnel could walk around the corner and see them. Rick’s heart speeds up but all he can concentrate on is the weight of Lisa’s hand on his sleeve and the light shimmer in her eyes as she looks at him. He catches a sweet drift of her warm, familiar perfume as she leans up to press her lips to his cheek. The small but very public show of affection from her startles him and leaves him momentarily frozen in place.

“Uhh-“ is all he can think to say.

She smiles and releases him to continue down the hall and Rick admires the subtle sway of her hips for a moment before he manages to blink away his astonishment and hurry after her.

He reaches for her hand just as a two techs round the corner. He doesn’t even think to let go and she doesn’t pull away. “Lisa, wait, so that means-“

She stops in place and she fiddles with a strand of hair. Her eyes are luminous and he notices for the first time she’s nervous. His heart is in his throat as he steps closer. He thinks he knows what the kiss means, but past experience has shown him how easily a peck on the cheek can be misunderstood. He wants to hear Lisa say it. He wants her to acknowledge the new status of their relationship in a way Minmei never would.

“Lisa?”

“I don’t need more time,” she admits. She reaches for his hand and entwines their fingers together, either oblivious or totally uncaring of the curious glance the two enlisted men give them as they pass. Rick ignores them, caught up in the rush as his heart soars and a wide smile spreads across his face.

Lisa smiles back at him shyly. “I think I’ve waited long enough, don’t you?”

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	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully it’s still Valentine’s Day somewhere in the world… figured it was the perfect time to post this very indulgent chapter.

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_Walk together through the night  
Sky is clear, the stars are bright  
I kiss her lips and hold her tight  
Is that enough?_

“Could This Be Love” – The Wanted

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* * *

That evening under the cool, clear night sky, Rick takes Lisa out on a date.

She had taken special care to dress up, donning a lovely off the shoulders number in the same vibrant shade of red as the trim on Rick’s flight suit. Claudia had insisted on loaning it to her and had delivered it earlier with a salacious wink as she dropped it off.

 _Roy used to go wild when I wore this, I bet it will knock the socks off Rick too,_ she had said.

Lisa could see why. On Claudia, with her long brown legs, the dress would have been tantalizingly short and while Lisa wasn’t particularly petite, she didn’t quite have Claudia’s height and as a result the dress came to a more modest length on her. It showed an expanse of bare skin across her shoulders that her uniform certainly didn’t and as Lisa had admired her reflection in the mirror, she found herself hoping she would have a chance to reveal the dress to Rick in all its glory.

Her doorbell chimes and Lisa quickly pulls on her coat and opens the door to find Rick bundled up warmly on her doorstep. His wide smile when he sees her makes her cheeks flush but before she can greet him properly, he takes her hand and pulls her close to press a light kiss to her cheek. She catches a dizzying swirl of his fresh cologne and she grips his hand a little harder than necessary.

“Hi,” he says softly as he steps back, unbothered by her tight grasp of his hand. “Are you hungry?”

For a split second, Lisa wants to say she’s famished, but it’s not for food. Instead she ducks her head, glancing away to hide the stain across her cheeks that might give her thoughts away. She had been counting the minutes until she could see him again, longing to be with him in a way she would never have previously let herself meditate too deeply about.

She doesn’t have to hold back now. _Her boyfriend,_ she thinks. Rick Hunter is her boyfriend. The thought simultaneously makes her want to laugh with a giddy happiness as well as pinch herself to make sure she isn’t dreaming.

“Not particularly,” she says instead. “Are you?”

“No, not really. Why don’t we see a movie first? There are some old favorites playing at the Oggi Theatre if you feel like it.”

Lisa is privately thrilled at the idea of prolonging their evening together beyond a meal. “That sounds great, Rick. I’d love to see a movie with you.”

He grins and offers his arm as they start to make their way into New Macross City’s central commercial district.

There’s some light hearted debate on the movie they choose to see before deciding on an old classic that pre-dated even the unification wars but Lisa doesn’t remember much of the it save for the way it had felt to sit close to Rick and cradle his hand in her lap in the darkness. She discovers that she very much likes his hands - so much larger and stronger than hers - calloused but not rough. He has a scar that lines the back of his knuckles on his left hand that she traces absently as she tries halfheartedly to follow the story being played out on the screen but her thoughts keep carrying her back to the jagged line of raised skin.

“The Mockingbird,” he tells her when she asks him about it later as they pass through the cinema foyer when the movie is over. The name tickles something at the back of her mind before realization sweeps in.

“Oh, that was your little stunt plane, wasn’t it?”

Rick sniffs. “It was more than that,” he tells her, but he chuckles lightly. “That plane was my pride and joy.”

“Do you miss it?”

“A little bit. There’s no more flying for fun these days,” he says ruefully and she catches the hint of melancholy in his voice.

“No,” she agrees sadly as they walk out onto the street. She shivers lightly in the cool air despite her warm coat and tucks herself close to Rick as they stroll along. “I don’t suppose there is.”

Rick leads her down a few streets until it looks like they’re moving away from the main thoroughfare and into a winding maze of small alleyways. The foot traffic ebbs and fades away along with the chatter of people enjoying their evening out until they come across a small restaurant that seems unassuming from the street but spills out into a delightful, glass domed courtyard. The clear ceiling traps the heat from the braziers inside for the benefit of the patrons and draped across the vaulted ceiling space are old fashioned fairy lights sprinkled like suspended stars. Green foliage like Ivy curls against the walls and a woman with bright purple hair plays a soulful song with a violin in the far corner.

The restaurant couldn’t have been more than a year old, but the warm golden glow from the solar lights that sparkle on the tables makes the space feel timeless. Adding to the romantic ambience are intimate booths, white table cloths and shimmering glassware.

“Oh,” Lisa breathes, taking it all in with wide eyes. “Rick, this is lovely. I had no idea places like this existed anymore.”

He flashes her a quick smile but his eyes seem to be searching for someone in the depths of the restaurant. Lisa wonders who he could be looking for and refuses to let herself think about how this restaurant would be just the sort of place a certain celebrity would feel right at home in.

“Bobby told us about it. It’s New Macross City’s best kept secret.”

A pretty dark skinned girl materializes nearby, taking their coats and tucking them away. Lisa is grateful that the restaurant is warm and cozy when her shoulders are exposed to the night. Rick’s eyes widen slightly at the sight of her dress under the glow of the lights but there’s no chance to speak before the girl is warmly welcoming them.

“Captain Hunter! It’s lovely to see you. Bobby told me you would be joining us tonight.”

“Hi Amelia,” Rick quirks a half smile at her and Lisa gets the odd sense she may have met this girl before. “Thanks for fitting us in at short notice. Lisa, this is Amelia, Lieutenant Bell’s fiancée. Amelia, this is Captain Lisa Hayes.”

Amelia looks at Lisa with round eyes. “It’s an honor to meet you, Captain Hayes. Bobby talks so highly of both of you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too, Amelia,” Lisa says politely. She knows Lieutenant Bell from his recent induction into Rick’s Skull team out of Alpha Squad. “Lieutenant Bell is one of our best up and coming pilots. I see a bright future ahead of him.”

Amelia’s answering smile falters. “I hope he has the chance to have that future. The life expectancy for fighter pilots isn’t exactly high.” She flushes and glances awkwardly at Rick. “I’m sorry, Captain Hunter, I don’t mea-.”

“It’s alright, Amelia. You know I’ll always do everything in my power to keep him safe.”

Lisa echoes Rick’s words, thinking about the Lieutenant and his not-easily-ruffled attitude. She had noticed he had a cool head about him during the missions conducted under her command but she finds herself regarding Rick with surprise at the gentle way he handles Amelia’s fears. It was clear Amelia wasn’t military, probably one of the few survivors left on Earth following the Rain but instead of brushing aside her worries with the cocky bravado she might have expected, he had opted for reassurance instead.

“Thank you, Captain Hunter,” Amelia says softly. “I suppose that’s all I can ask. Oh, but enough of that,” she flushes and gives a small toss of her head to shake off her heavy worries. “I’m sorry; you’re here for a lovely evening together, not to counsel a jittery bride.”

She leads them through the restaurant to a table in the far corner where Rick makes a point to pull out Lisa’s chair for her. Lisa chuckles and gives him a small smile as she thanks him.

“You’re welcome,” he murmurs leaning over her as she sits. The tickle of his warm breath over her bare skin leaves Lisa momentarily breathless.

“Well, I’ll leave you both to enjoy your evening, but if there’s anything you need, please don’t hesitate to let us know,” Amelia says once they’re both comfortably seated.

Rick nods. “Thanks, Amelia. Say hi to Bobby for me. Tell him I expect to see him on the flight deck bright and early tomorrow.”

Amelia gives him a wry laugh. “Yes, Captain,” she says, giving him a mock salute before she turns away.

A moment later, a waiter appears and hands them both a handwritten menu and taking their drink orders. Lisa makes a small sound of protest when Rick orders another one of her favourite wines but he waves it away.

“I know the owner,” he jokes and he winks, making Lisa smile. He picks up the menu and skims it quickly and Lisa does the same although she finds it hard to concentrate on the options, her mind still partly pre-occupied by Amelia’s words.

_The life expectancy for fighter pilots isn’t exactly high._

“It all looks so good here,” Rick says, pulling out of her distraction. He glances up at her and Lisa thinks about how he looks especially dashing tonight, dressed in his familiar suit and a blue tie that matches the colour of his eyes perfectly. Seeing him in the suit had reminded her of the last time he had worn it, and it made her feel especially grateful for the night he had shown up half frozen on her doorstep.

She might have hidden her heart away behind her hurt forever if he hadn’t done that.

They decide on each sampling separate dishes but Rick makes her promise to share a small portion of hers with him. Lisa doesn’t bother to fight him on it, her nerves still fluttery at the way their knees occasionally brush under the table to have much of an appetite but after their mains have been served, she picks up her wine glass and nods her head to Rick to do the same.

“I feel like we should make a toast.”

“Oh, yeah? What should we toast to?” he asks, lowering his fork.

“Hmm,” she pretends to think on it then meets his eyes across the table. He’s watching her with an expression she’s not used to seeing on him, eyes dark like he’s a man half starved. Lisa suspects her bare shoulders that her dress reveals might have something to do with it and she flips her hair over one shoulder to test her theory. Rick’s gaze follows the movement hungrily, and Lisa experiences a rush of heat inside her. “What do you think we should toast to?”

He seems surprised that she would turn it back on him but then his mouth curves. He pauses for a beat then holds his glass up a little higher. “To fresh starts,” he says, then he glances down sheepishly. “And second chances.”

“To fresh starts and second chances,” she repeats softly, thinking how very much this evening is just that for them. Even more so than the meal in Rick’s quarters the night before, this was a new beginning for them both.

They gently chink their glasses together, sharing hopeful smiles.

At the end of the meal, Rick signals to the waiter and Lisa bends down to collect her purse. Rick gives her a pointed look but his mouth twitches teasingly. “You aren’t going to insist on paying are you? This is my treat and I don’t care if you earn more than me.”

She tilts her head, trying to stop her lips from curving into a smile at the memory of the last time they had that argument. “I suppose I will allow it just this once. Besides, we might be on equal pay these days.”

“Not likely,” Rick laughs. “But what good is a Captain’s salary if I haven’t got anyone to spend it on?”

As they’re leaving the restaurant, Rick helps her into her coat. She catches the appreciative glance he gives her as she puts it on and raises an eyebrow.

“I really like you in red,” he says honestly, almost reluctant to admit it. Then he takes her arm and they walk back out into the night air. 

The streets in the commercial district have grown busy as the evening waned on. Colorful garlanded lights and banners hang between the buildings to remind them both that the holiday season was almost upon them. Lisa hadn’t felt particularly festive in the past, offering to take on Christmas day rosters for the officers for had families and she was rostered on again this year. Despite that, she has a feeling that this year Christmas might be very different.

“I guess I should take you home,” Rick says as they walk, sounding disappointed. She knows how he feels. She doesn’t want their night together to end yet.

She turns to him, reaching for his hand. “Well, you could come back to my place for tea if you like?”

His eyes light up and he gazes at her warmly. “I’d like that,” he answers then his gaze shifts to something over her shoulder. “Wait here, I know just the thing to go with it.”

“Rick, wha-“

He’s gone before she can even finish her sentence, dashing across the street and then disappearing into a small shop with a bell that rings when he opens the door. She stands there helplessly, tucking her coat tighter around herself in an effort to ward off the chill air, wondering if she should follow him before reminding herself he had told her to wait where she was. She squints at the shop sign, realizing it’s a tiny boutique bakery.

He’s gone for a few minutes and Lisa contents herself by window shopping at the building behind her. She almost regrets it when she realizes it’s a lingerie store with plastic mannequins in the window modeling thin strips of satin and lace and her face heats. She finds herself admiring the soft ivory set at the back when she suddenly recalls an early memory of Rick huddled behind a table balancing a paper bag of groceries off the floor and laughs to herself. _Mr Lingerie_. He’d been so ridiculously clumsy and embarrassed. How could she have forgotten that?

She’s still smiling to herself at the recollection when she hears her name being called and she turns expecting it to be Rick, but instead it’s Max with his arm up, pushing his way through the crowd on the street with his other arm tight around his wife. His cheeks are red and Miriya looks pretty in a soft lavender sweater that shouldn’t look as perfect as it does paired with her verdantly tinted hair.

“Captain Hayes!”

Lisa waits by the store window for them to reach her. “Hi Max,” she says warmly. “Hello, Miriya. How are you both?”

“We’re great,” Max tells her. “Just having a night out without the baby while we have a chance.”

It’s on the tip of her tongue to ask where Dana is but then Lisa remembers it’s late and Dana would no doubt be tucked up in bed with the babysitter. It’s good to see Max and Miriya have some time together away from the baby that isn’t in the cockpit of a veritech, Lisa thinks to herself but her thoughts trail off when she notices the very intense look Miriya is suddenly giving her.

Miriya’s eyes shift from the store window to Lisa and back again. “Are you planning to purchase those under garments to wear for Captain Hunter, Lisa?”

Lisa inhales sharply as her face instantly flames. The thought had possibly flittered through her mind but to hear Miriya express it so starkly embarrassed her.

She glances sharply at Max, but he’s not listening, having spotted Rick crossing back over the street with a small box in his hands.

“Skipper!”

Lisa is glad for the interruption, saved from having to answer Miriya’s bold query by Rick arriving. He greets Max and Miriya and then steps closer to Lisa, sliding a proprietary hand against the small of her back. They stand together facing Max and Miriya as the crowd of people ebbs and flows around them.

“We’re just about to head over to The Set-Up to catch a drink with Claudia if you feel like joining us,” Max tells them. “Might even go dancing too.”

“Uh, thanks, Max but I was just about to take Lisa home.”

Lisa lays a hand against his arm. It’s another chance to prolong their evening. “I wouldn’t mind staying out a little longer if it’s something you would like to do.”

Rick hesitates briefly, searching her gaze. “Well, we’re both rostered on tomorrow but… Alright,” he agrees and his blue eyes go soft as she looks at her. Her heart flutters for a moment, caught up in his look but then then he turns back to Max. “Sure, why not? Let’s go.”

“Fantastic,” Max grins and he pulls Miriya closer to him. “It’s not far from here, we’ll be there before we know it.”

Max and Miriya turn and start to thread their way through the crowd of people on the street towards the club.

“Where did you disappear to just now?” Lisa asks as they trail after their friends. Rick has a small white box in one hand and he pauses on the sidewalk just long enough to let her peek inside the lid.

Inside is a single, beautifully decorated red velvet cupcake.

“Something to have with the tea,” he says with a half shrug, as though he’s suddenly embarrassed by his spur of the moment purchase. Lisa hopes he isn’t. It was a surprising and sweet action and one she would never have expected from Rick.

He was surprising her a lot tonight.

She takes the box from him and tucks it lovingly into her purse.

“We’ll have it with the tea later,” she assures him as she takes his arm and they start to walk again.

They arrive at the bar and find Claudia chatting to a young man with reddish hair long and thick in the popular style of the veritech jocks but he excuses himself when they stop by the table. Lisa notices Rick giving him a hard glance before they all sit down and makes a mental note to talk to him about it later. Claudia might have been his brother Roy’s fiancée before he died, but she’s still entitled to a life now that Roy is gone. And as devoted to Roy as she was, Lisa knows that eventually it will fade and the loneliness will set in and she might want to move on.

That was something Lisa knew from experience. Once a upon a time she couldn’t imagine wanting anyone but Riber, only to now have Rick kiss her and marvel at all the ways a heart could heal.

Lisa divests herself of her coat and Miriya gives her an approving look.

“You look very elegant,” she tells her. “Red is the colour of blood, but Max also tells me in your culture it’s the colour of love.”

Lisa nods and thanks Miriya for her compliment but then Claudia takes centre stage and whistles cheekily. “Captain Hayes, I knew that dress would be magic on you, but oh my, nothing quite compares to actually seeing you in it!”

Lisa finds herself blushing as all eyes turn to her. “Claudia, please,” she protests. She’s sure her cheeks are as red as the dress. It’s a little bit cool inside the bar with her shoulders exposed and she sits back in the booth to lean closer to Rick to find his warmth. He misunderstands and thinks she’s embarrassed so he slides his arm around her shoulders and draws her to him protectively.

“You look really nice in that dress,” he whispers in her ear. “I don’t think I’ve said that yet.”

She doesn’t get a chance to reply before a young woman with big blue eyes and dark wavy hair arrives at the table balancing a tray of drinks. Lisa studies her carefully as she places the glasses down, realizing that this girl reminds her uncomfortably of Minmei. She sneaks a glance at Rick, but he’s talking animatedly with Max about a plot hole in the movie they just saw, oblivious to the woman in front of them.

Lisa is relieved, before she inwardly rebukes herself for being ridiculous.

The rest of the evening passes enjoyably with the five of them drinking together and sharing conversation. They’ve spent a lot of time together over the years, and their friendships have been firmly established not just on duty, but in the quiet off moments too. She goes a long way back with Claudia, but Lisa considers Max and Miriya to be her friends as well. At one point, Sammy, Vanessa and Kim even join them with their beaus for a drink then a live band starts to play and then the trio is off twirling on the dancefloor with their partners.

Through the warm buzz flowing through her system from the drinks and Rick’s arm curled possessively around her waist, Lisa finds herself watching the dancers with envy. Maybe she could ask Rick to dance, she thinks but the music is a little too fast and she’s fairly confident she’s a little bit too tipsy to make a good impression.

 _I wonder if Rick is a good dancer,_ she wonders, realizing it was something she had yet to learn about him. There hadn’t been an opportunity to dance at Max and Miriya’s wedding, an attack occurring before the first dance had taken place but she speculates idly if he would have danced with anyone had there been the chance. At the time, she had been watching the televised event with her father at Alaska base far away on Earth but she had been caught up in the romance of their wedding just the same.

Before long, Claudia decides to call it a night and she stands up to gather her coat and says her farewells. Lisa decides to walk Claudia out so she leaves Rick at the table and stands just inside the entrance while Claudia hails a taxi. As they say their goodbyes, Claudia kisses her cheek.

“You looks so happy, Lisa.”

Lisa’s eyes prick in spite of herself. “I am,” she says with a small, disbelieving laugh. “I’ve finally got everything I’ve ever wanted.”

Claudia surprises her by pulling Lisa into her embrace and holding her for a long moment. “I’m thrilled for you, honey. I really am. You’ve waited such a long time for this.”

“I never thought I would have this again, after Riber-“

“Well, enjoy it. It’s been a long time coming. We both fell for pilots, didn’t we? After all that time you swore black and blue you wouldn’t.”

“Life sure is funny like that,” Lisa says dryly.

“It’s funny to think we could have been _sisters_. If Roy was still alive and then you and Rick-“

“We _are_ sisters,” Lisa rushes out quickly. Tears prick at her eyes at the longing in Claudia’s voice but she’s filled with a swell of warmth and affection for her beautiful friend. Claudia had been the most important woman in Lisa’s life for a long time now. “You’ll always be my family, Claudia.”

“Oh, honey,” Claudia says softly. “I feel the same way.”

Lisa’s eyes prick harder and they’re more than damp when Claudia pulls away and dashes for the taxi with one last wave over her shoulder. Lisa watches the car disappears down the street, hugging her arms around herself when a blast of cool night air catches her as the doors open and close with new patrons.

She turns to walk back to the table but Rick finds her by the door.

“There you are,” he says in relief but then his expression shifts and he frowns. “Lisa? What’s wrong?”

She shakes her head, wiping her eyes quickly with her fingertips. “Happy tears,” she assures him. “I promise.”

He seems satisfied with that and takes her hand, tugging her after him through the small crowd of revelers. “Come on. Come with me.”

“Where are we going?” she asks in confusion as they pass their table. A moment later, Rick pulls her onto the dancefloor. The music had mellowed from the previous upbeat tempo to something smooth and slow and the lights dim as couples pair up and sway together. Lisa catches a glimpse of Max and Miriya entwined nearby but they have eyes only for each other.

Rick stands close to her amongst the dancers and squeezes her hand. It’s hard to see the expression in his eyes in all the shadows but she thinks there’s uncertainly there. “So, uh. We’ve never danced before.”

“No, we haven’t.”

“I think we should change that. Will you dance with me, Captain Hayes?”

She can’t help her smile. “I would love to, Captain Hunter.”

Rick tugs on her hand, drawing her in close against his chest. He slides his other hand around her waist and she lays her hands on his shoulders as they shuffle gently together. The only discomfort is when the song changes and the band plays a cover of one of Minmei’s classic love songs that had been slowed down for maximum poignancy. Lisa tries not to let it bother her, but it seems that even on a date with Rick, reminders of miss Minmei were inescapable.

Some of her disquiet must show in her face because Rick catches her eye and winces slightly. “Maybe I can make a request?”

Lisa stares up at him, taking note of the feel of his arms around her, the lengths of their bodies pressed close together. She can feel his muscles move under her palms and see the warmth in his eyes as he watches her.

“Tens of thousands of songs in the world, and they had to choose this one,” she tries to laugh. Rick’s arm tightens around her waist and her uneasiness dies away. It didn’t matter what song they played, it only mattered that _she_ was the one dancing with Rick.

When she says as much, he stops in place to press a sweet, lingering kiss to her mouth that only ends when someone whistles and calls out their names nearby.

Rick raises his head and Lisa glances over her shoulder to find the trio grinning and gesturing wildly.

“Oh. Well, it seems this is our grand debut,” Lisa says, her face heating.

“It seems that way,” Rick chuckles. “Are you worried what people will think?”

Lisa already knows there’s long been speculation regarding the two of them, from as far back as the time they had returned to a broadcasted medal ceremony for miraculously escaping Dolza’s clutches to much recently. Usually notoriously private in her personal life, she’s surprised to realize she doesn’t want to waste a moment more hiding away how she feels about the man in front of her.

Lisa just hopes he feels the same.

She reaches up to pull him into another kiss, brushing her lips over his before leaning back to look up into his eyes. “Do I seem worried to you?”

“No ma’am,” he murmurs, quirking a grin as he tightens his hold around her waist and lowers his head to plant another kiss against her mouth that leaves her head spinning and her knees weak. For a moment, she can almost forget that the trio is nearby watching them, except that their excited squeals become too raucous to be ignored.

Rick and Lisa break their kiss and Lisa buries her head against Rick’s chest with a small groan. “I’m never going to be able to maintain control of them again,” she mutters.

Rick chuckles lightly. “They know you’re human now, it’s going to be tough to keep them in line.”

Lisa lifts her head and eyes him suspiciously. “Sometimes I think my ability to keep anyone in line faded the day you stole a veritech.”

“I didn’t _steal_ it,” Rick protests bravely but his eyes are twinkling. “If you must know, I was trying to take a nap.”

Lisa snorts delicately but shares in his soft laughter. He hugs her close and the warmth of him curling around her sends her heart soaring. How could she ever have predicted that the irreverent, cocky civilian in the cockpit that day could come to mean so much to her. She gazes up at him, caught up in wonder of just how much their fates could change. Her fingers delve into the hair at the back of his neck as she leans up.

“I’ll always be grateful you accepted that invitation,” she murmurs against his mouth. “Despite everything.”

“Me too,” he whispers back. Once again he pulls her close.

Lisa sways with him in the flow of the music and decides that this might just be the most romantic night of her life.

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* * *

By an unspoken agreement they end up taking the long way home, walking together in silence along the edge of Lake Gloval. It’s dark in the SDF-1’s shadow but the path is lit under their feet by tiny lights that look like the reflection of stars. Despite the late hour, Rick isn’t at all in a hurry to take Lisa home.

He’d had a wonderful time tonight, so much that it had genuinely surprised him. If he had known that dates could be so enjoyable, he probably would have done a lot more of them. He suspects it was more the company than the activities though. He could be stranded on the other side of the galaxy and the only person he would want to be with is Lisa.

He chuckles lightly to himself as he remembers. Back then he had been so caught up in Minmei he didn’t appreciate enough the connection he shared with Lisa.

“Something funny?” Lisa probes as they walk. She has her arm tucked against his as what had become her habit and Rick finds himself standing taller with pride when others pass by them and throw Lisa appreciative glances.

“No, not really. I was just thinking about when we were captured.”

“What on earth are you thinking about that now for?”

“I was just thinking how I couldn’t imagine going through that with anyone else but you.”

She pauses in her steps and turns to him. Her eyes are shadowed by the darkness but he catches the curve of her smile. “We have had quite a few adventures, haven’t we?”

“Yeah,” he nods. “We have.” He’s silent for a moment as he replays their history behind his eyes. “Do you ever wonder about it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well… You and me. We always seem to find our way back to each other, don’t we? I can’t help but think… maybe we were made for each other.”

“That’s very romantic,” she says softly but it’s not lost on him that she doesn’t argue. Rick isn’t sure where this suddenly whimsy has come from, all he knows is that this feels different. _He_ feels different. Whatever it was he shared with Lisa – it was unlike anything he had ever experienced before.

If Lisa is surprised by his musings, she doesn’t say so. Instead, she smiles that soft gentle smile of hers that Rick is beginning to enjoy so much and tilts her face up towards his. He spares a moment to think about how lovely she is in the moonlight then lowers his head to press a kiss to her mouth. The warm glow of an evening spent together and the scent of her perfume makes him linger, then Lisa’s hand curls into his hair and she opens for him and the kiss grows deeper. It drags on far longer than it should for such a public area but Rick is carried away on swell of it. He forgets where they are until a group of civilians brush past them and one of them gruffly mutters _get a room_ and they both pull apart, cheeks burning.

“I suppose we should be used to people watching us kiss,” Rick jokes weakly. That makes Lisa laughs and she turns her face against his shoulder in an attempt to hide her pink stained cheeks. He holds her solicitously, enjoying the feel of her turning to him for protection when he knows that Lisa of all people doesn’t need it.

They start walking again, making their way back to Lisa’s quarters. Rick hesitates at the front door, wondering if her offer to come in and share tea was still valid at this very late hour. Before he can step back, she pulls the small box filled with the pretty cupcake out of her purse and holds it up.

“I believe I promised you some tea to go with this.”

“That’s alright, Lisa. You don’t owe me anything. You can have it all to yourself if you like,” he tells her kindly, aware of how late it is and recalling how tired she had seemed after her shift. He doesn’t want to leave, but he doesn’t want to outstay his welcome either.

Sometimes it wasn’t much fun trying to be so mature.

Lisa lowers the box and gives him a small frown that makes him think he’s said something wrong. “I’d rather enjoy it with you, Rick.”

He studies her for a moment, debating if he should be gallant and take himself home or take her up on her invitation before ultimately deciding he isn’t ready to say good night to her yet.

“Alright,” he says slowly, and he’s rewarded by a smile that makes her eyes crinkle happily at the corners.

His breath catches a little at the sight but he doesn’t have time to dwell on it because she takes his hand and tugs him inside.

She takes off her coat and hangs it on the hook by the door then turns to the kitchen. He’s caught off guard once again by the dress and the creamy expanse of the skin across her shoulders from the strapless design. He follows her to the kitchen and slides his arms around her from behind, unable to hold himself back a moment longer.

She’s so warm and fragrant in his arms. He lowers his lips to her skin and a small, sensitive quiver rolls through her frame at his touch. “Oh, Lisa,” he sighs.

She turns in his arms to face him and reaches up thread her fingers through his hair. She has such pretty eyes, he thinks, losing himself in the deep green and amber flecks as she looks up at him. Why had he never truly noticed that before? Why had he been so blind to anyone but Minmei for so long? When he had _this_ with Lisa sitting right under his nose all along.

Lisa was right. He really was a dope.

The kettle whistles away softly, signaling the water was ready but Lisa doesn’t move straight away but Rick doesn’t release her. A long moment passes that has him wondering what she’s thinking.

“I should make the tea,” she murmurs and Rick reluctantly releases her.

He leans against the doorway as he watches her move about in the kitchen. He’s not sure he feels like drinking any, but he has no intention of turning down more time with Lisa. She catches his eye as she pulls out a plate and carefully places the pretty cupcake down on it before pulling out some cutlery.

Soon the tea is ready and they stand together in her kitchen with the cupcake on the counter between them.

Rick picks up a spoon and quirks his mouth when Lisa does the same and follows the motion with a scoop of icing and cupcake.

“Oh sure, too full to try my desert after dinner last night but you’ll eat a cupcake now,” he teases.

“Dinner was hours ago,” she tells him with a shrug. She closes her eyes as she savors the bite of the cupcake and the small hum she makes causes Rick’s blood to heat. What he wouldn’t give to have a chance to hear more of those small sounds from her. He’s busy staring at her mouth he almost doesn’t hear the rest of what she says. “And we did all that dancing.”

He forces himself to focus on the cupcake instead.

“Why have we never done that before?” he muses, joining her in tucking into the cupcake. It’s soft and fluffy but breaks apart easily with the spoon. He must have been thinking of Lisa in that red dress when he chose it.

“What do you mean?”

“Dancing.”

Lisa pauses for a moment before she answers. “I suppose there hasn’t been a lot of opportunity. Even now it almost feels a little strange.”

He doesn’t need her to elaborate. After all the time in space fighting for their lives followed by the long, slow, and often painful road to reconstruction in the face of the loss of eighty percent of the Earth’s population, something as simple as dancing feels almost… offensive.

Rick lowers his spoon, a stubborn refusal to let their evening be tarnished filling him. He understands, he does, but he doesn’t want the cloud of that grief weighing down their future. It was too heavy, too painful.

“We can’t mourn forever.”

“There’s still a lot we have to do, Rick.”

“I know that. But what’s the point if we aren’t living? I’m tired of just surviving. Aren’t you?”

Lisa holds his gaze but the line around her mouth smooths. “We’re more than just surviving. Things might not be perfect, but… we’re finding our way.”

Rick’s lips quirk dryly. “Are you talking about in general… or about us?”

She chuckles lightly at that, then lowers her spoon to her plate. She takes the spoon out of his hand and does the same before stepping closer. Her eyes turn soft in a way he’s sure he’ll never grow tired of and it encourages him to slide his hands around her waist. Lisa loops her arms around his neck and his heartrate kicks up dramatically at the proximity of her soft curves against him.

“I’ve had the most wonderful night, Rick,” she murmurs, laying her cheek against his. Her breath is a warm, dreamy puff of air against his ear. “Thank you.”

Rick breathes her in, warmed by her gratitude and more than a little satisfied. There was a lot of ground he still had to cover but for the first time, he feels like he’s made significant progress. “I had a great time too.”

She tilts her face for a kiss and Rick happily obliges, losing himself in the tender touch of her lips on his. It’s easy to do – Lisa is so sweet and soft and all the things he had never truly appreciated until now.

For a long time, he’s content to simply stand in her kitchen and hold her in his arms.

｡･:*:･ﾟ ,｡･:*:･ﾟ ｡･:*:･ﾟ ,｡･:*:･ﾟ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rick's words "You and me. We always seem to find our way back to each other, don’t we? I can’t help but think… maybe we were made for each other," is from the flashback scenes in The Sentinels. I generally ignore The Sentinels but I love this part.


	10. Chapter 10

_And lay it down when you walk through my door  
Throw all of it out on the floor  
Your sorrow, your beauty, your war  
I want it all, I want it all_

“Unpack Your Heart” – Phillip Phillips

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* * *

Rick was busy writing his report when Bobby and the rest of the squad corner him in the pilot’s locker room. All had been quiet until then but with the team’s noisy entrance, Rick sighs and shoves the paperwork away.

“Anyone would think there’s a herd of elephants stampeding through here,” he complains as the space fills with chatter and locker doors are slammed. The gaggle of pilots start pulling on their flight gear and Rick watches them without envy. He had already been out in Skull One, having been unexpectedly scrambled in the early hours of the morning for a solo mission that had proved to be more trouble than it was worth. With only a few hours of sleep under his belt and his head full of thoughts of Lisa, he was looking forward to wrapping up his report and stumbling home to get some rest.

“What’s an elephant?” Miriya asks her husband, a small crease between her brows.

Max does his best to explain but Miriya eyes him suspiciously. “That can’t be real. Is this another one of your micronian pranks?”

Max laughs and one of the other pilots offers to find Miriya a photo but Rick doesn’t listen to Miriya’s response because Bobby materializes at his elbow with a look in his eye that has alarm bells ringing in the distant corners of his mind.

“Bobby,” he greets him warily. “Are you ready for this assignment?”

“You bet I am, Skipper. But, say there was something I wanted to ask you before we head out.”

“Go ahead, Bobby. You can ask me anything.”

“It’s not business related though,” he says as another pilot Rick doesn’t know but recognizes from their night on the town hoots loudly nearby. Rick frowns and he glances at Max only to find him smiling innocently.

Rick is immediately suspicious. “Why do I suddenly feel like I’m the only one not in on the joke here?”

“No joke,” Bobby shakes his head but Rick doesn’t feel reassured. “I just wanted to know if you will be bringing Captain Hayes to the wedding.”

Rick blinks. Of all the things he had expected Bobby to say, not one of them had factored in Lisa. In truth, he hadn’t asked Lisa to be his date to the wedding because Bobby had handed him an invitation during that depressing period when Lisa was refusing to speak to him. He had tucked it somewhere safe, then promptly forgot about the prettily etched ‘plus one’ on the paper.

He makes a mental note to ask Lisa the first chance he has. “Uh, I suppose so.”

Bobby pauses. “That is… unless you’re afraid to?”

Rick’s skin pricks. He scowls and hoists his helmet under one arm before remembering he’s done with his flight duty today. “Now why would I be _afraid_ of taking Li- I mean, Captain Hayes to your wedding?”

Bobby shrugs but he gives Rick a sly glance. Someone snickers nearby. “Ladies can get ideas you know, taking them along to a wedding.”

“Is that so?”

Bobby shrugs. “Well, it may be that she starts imagining her own white dress, huh, Captain?”

Rick is spared the need to answer when the conversation quickly moves onto a new subject, but Rick listens in with only half an ear, Bobby’s comment still reverberating in his skull. The words are still echoing later when he finds Lisa in the officer’s mess hall having lunch with Claudia.

“Well, hello flyboy,” Claudia says brightly when he approaches their table. “How have you been?”

Claudia looks upbeat today, her eyes sparkling as much as the surface of the lake outside the observation deck nearby. Rick gives her a drained smile.

“Oh, not too bad, Claudia. How about you?”

“Great, now that I don’t have to worry about you showing up on my doorstep looking like a drowned rat. I have to say, my nights are so much less dramatic now that you’ve both finally got it together.”

Rick and Lisa exchange a startled glance and Lisa promptly looks down, blushing furiously. Claudia laughs and stands up. “Oh come on, you two. I’m only teasing. Here, Rick. I’ve kept your seat warm for you.”

“You don’t have to leave on my account-“

“My break is over anyway,” she dismisses him with an impatient wave of her hand. “I’ll catch you both later.”

“Bye, Claudia,” Lisa says.

“Yeah, bye Claudia.”

When she’s gone, Rick slides into the seat next to Lisa. She’s as fresh and as put together as ever, despite their late night the night before, but then it hadn’t been Lisa that the brass had roused from her bed in the early hours of the morning.

She notices his tiredness immediately. “Rick,” she chides him gently. “You look exhausted. You should really go home and get some rest.”

He gives her a rueful smile. “I will, but I’m glad I found you.”

“Oh?” she raises an eyebrow expectantly and takes a sip of her coffee. “Is everything alright? Did something happen during your mission?”

“No… I mean, yes, everything is fine. This is, ah, sort of personal.”

“Personal?”

“Yeah,” he nods then casts a glance around the room. The officer’s mess isn’t much different to the one on the SDF-1; it’s a large chamber with plenty of space between the tables and a wide glass window that spills into the vista over the lake outside. Although Lisa had chosen a spot away from most of the crowd, he experiences a surprising burst of apprehension to bring up the subject on his mind here where anyone could overhear. He briefly considers waiting until they’re off base to ask her but he’s worried he’s already left it too late. “Actually, I had something I wanted to ask you.”

She puts down her mug and her brows furrow in that serious way when he knows she’s devoting all her attention to a subject. Something like nerves flutter in his gut but he refuses to acknowledge it, instead taking a breath and rushing the words out before he can second guess himself.

“Well, uh. It’s Bobby’s wedding soon and I know its short notice and all, but I was wondering if maybe you’d like to come with me? As my date?”

“Bobby? You mean Lieutenant Bell? It was his fiancé we met last night at the restaurant, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, I would have asked you sooner but-“ Rick flushes slightly and gives Lisa a helpless half-shrug. Her lips curve in response, her eyes telling him that he doesn’t need to elaborate but she pauses just long enough to make him sweat.

“I would love to go, Rick,” she says warmly. “Thank you.”

“You would?”

“Yes, of course,” she says, but then her expression shifts and she eyes him warily. “Did you think I would say no?”

He shrugs helplessly, suddenly embarrassed with himself. “No, that’s not it.”

She waits a beat for him to say more but when he doesn’t, she flips a stray lock of hair over her shoulder. For a beat he wonders if she’s going to press him on it, instead she forces a smile. “It will be nice to have something to celebrate. Please tell him thank you for including me.”

“You’ll be able to tell him yourself.”

“I will, won’t I? A wedding,” Lisa murmurs as she props her chin up with one hand. Her eyes grow soft and dreamy. “I’ll have to go shopping for something nice to wear.”

She seems so pleased by the invitation that Rick’s irrational unease from earlier fades away. What was he nervous about anyway? Lisa doesn’t strike him as the type to suddenly want pick out china and wedding dresses and besides, they all already know Lisa looks great in white.

“Wear that red dress again,” he says on impulse, the memory of the way it had exposed the elegant slope of her shoulders and how it cinched around her tiny waist making heat curl inside him. “That’s my favourite.”

She studies him closely for a moment, as though trying to work out if he’s serious.

“Alright,” she murmurs, her cheeks a little pink. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” he grins. He moves in to kiss her but freezes when he remembers they’re in a very public space surrounded by many of their colleagues… and still very much on duty. He leans back sheepishly.

Lisa hides the twitch of her lips behind the rim of her cup. “I’ll come over tonight,” she tells him softly. “You can kiss me then.”

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* * *

Lisa shows up on his doorstep at exactly seventeen hundred hours and still in her uniform. It makes Rick’s mouth crease in satisfaction that she didn’t even bother to stop home to change before coming to meet him. He quickly pulls her inside, slams the door then in the middle of his tiny kitchen, he gives her the lingering kiss he’s been wanting to all day.

Her eyes are a little dazed when he draws back. “Well,” she stammers shakily. “Hello to you, too.”

“Hi,” he chuckles lightly. He steps aside to give her a chance to remove her coat then he takes it from her and carries it into his bedroom to lay it across his bed as was starting to become his habit when she visited.

She’s still in the kitchen when he walks back out. He pauses in the doorway and rubs the back of his neck self-consciously. The pre-dawn mission and the late night had caught up with him when he returned to his quarters and his plans to do some shopping before she arrived hadn’t eventuated.

“Uh, so you’re not going to believe this, but I was actually about to head to the market. My cupboards are pitifully bare and I don’t have anything to offer you. Sorry, Lisa. I’ve been so busy with patro-“

“Rick, you don’t have to apologize. Are you sure you don’t have anything though? It looks like you have plenty here to me.”

Rick pulls open his small pantry and shows her the contents. There are the basic rations that all RDF personnel were supplied in addition to their wages. “Uh, not unless you know what to do with this stuff?”

Lisa laughs and nudges him lightly. “Flour? Salt? You even have a few tinned things. Of course I know what to do with this. Pass me your apron.”

He hurries to comply but when he hands it to her she looks down at herself and huffs. “Now, this won’t do. I won’t be able to mix and knead the dough in my uniform. Rick, I hate to ask, but do you have something I can borrow? Or I could just duck home but that would take time and-“

“No, I have something,” he rushes out. A warm sensation blooms inside him as he imagines Lisa in one of his shirts. The one that comes to mind is his favourite blue green check and he leads her into his bedroom and pulls it from his cupboard. Thank god he had at least been organized enough to make sure his clothes were laundered properly. “Will this be okay?”

Lisa considers the shirt, lifting up one of the long sleeves. “Hmm, if I just roll up the sleeves it should be alright. Thank you, Rick.”

“You’re welcome.” He spends a moment thinking about how lovely she’s going to look before she gives him a pointed glance.

“Rick…”

“Hmm?”

“May I have some privacy to change, please?”

“Uh… Oh!”

He rushes out of the room, closing the bedroom door behind him and trying his best not to think about Lisa undressing - _in his bedroom!_ The thought alone had the power to make his knees shake but the reality was so much more powerful. He has to force himself to move and he finds himself wandering aimlessly around his quarters while Lisa changes.

When the door opens and Lisa emerges, Rick’s heart beats a little faster.

“Is this alright?” she asks, her eyes downcast. She’s kept the trim skirt of her uniform on, but his shirt covers her top half loosely. The colour on her makes her eyes almost blue as she fiddles with the length of the sleeves. All in all, she’s beautiful and he almost realizes too late that his stunned staring is making her self-conscious. He mentally shakes himself off.

“It’s great,” he says hurriedly. “Do you need help with the sleeves?”

“No, it’s alright, I can manage.”

Lisa offers him a small smile and then sets to work rolling up the sleeves to her elbows. Then she goes to the kitchen and slips on the apron he finds for her around her neck. She has to tie it twice around her slim waist but then she lifts her arms to secure her hair away from her face by adding a tie at the base of her neck.

Before long, Lisa takes over the kitchen. She puts Rick to work chopping the few vegetables he has in his fridge while she starts to prepare the flour. He watches in fascination as she creates a dough and starts to knead it with her bare hands.

He’s not sure he’s ever seen Lisa so relaxed. It’s enjoyable to watch and he pauses in his task just to observe her work. “Have you always liked to cook?”

She glances up and smiles at him as she kneads the dough. There’s a dusting of white flour over the apron and a smear across her chin. Although a ribbon ties her hair back loosely, there’s one curl that insists on travelling over her shoulder.

“Yes, I’ve always found it relaxing. Although I haven’t had nearly enough chances to do it these past few years. I’m trying to make more of an effort now though. Cooking for our picnic seems to have reignited something in me.”

Rick inwardly cringes at the mention of the failed picnic date but Lisa doesn’t notice. She starts to hum as she kneads, then pauses and looks down at the pale mass in her hands.

“You know, there’s going to be enough here to feed you for a week. Maybe we should see if Max wants the night off cooking?”

Rick sits up. “That’s a great idea. I’ll give him a call.”

It’s not much longer until Max and Miriya arrive with Dana.

“Hi Max, hi Miriya.”

“Hey Rick,” Max greets him then peers over his shoulder to wave at Lisa in the kitchen. “Hi Lisa. Thanks for inviting us.”

“That was Lisa’s idea,” Rick grins, just as Dana begins to fuss in her mother’s arms. He leans in to make a silly face in an effort to make the baby laugh and his antics seem to work because Dana squeals and reaches out her pudgy hands towards him. He laughs, thinking how adorable she is and half wondering if it was just Dana in particular that had suddenly started to grab his interest, or if it was babies in general. Since New Macross City had been settled, there had been a baby boom and it often felt as though he couldn’t walk down the street without having to move aside for prams or glowing mothers to be.

“You had better come in out of the cold,” Rick says, stepping to the side then leading the little family into the living space. He settles them around the small table before ducking back into the kitchen.

“I’m going to need a bigger place if this becomes a regular thing,” he comments as he watches Lisa plate up the meal. She leaves one dish to the side that looks different to the rest. “What’s that?”

“That one is for Miriya. I know she’s still not used to the spices we use so I didn’t want to create anything too overwhelming for her. I hope she likes it.”

Rick peers into the bowl. There’s not as much colour as the rest but Rick knows Miriya is still getting used to flavours and textures of living food, as opposed to a predictable, bland taste she was sustained on as a soldier in the Zentraedi army.

“You go out of your way to make Miriya comfortable a lot.” Rick observes, keeping his voice low and conscious that Miriya and Max are in the next room. He says it like a statement but it contains a question he’s not sure how to ask. Lisa seems to understand though.

Her cheeks turn a little pink and she doesn’t meet his gaze. “I’m not Zentraedi, but I’ve always felt like I can relate to Miriya.”

Rick’s eyebrows go up. “How do you mean?”

“Well, people are… intimidated… by her. They judge her before they get to know her because of whom and what she is. She’s always a little on the fringes, and I guess… I guess I know how that feels.”

Rick’s heart makes a strange kind of flip flop in his chest. He had thought Lisa cold and harsh once. He knows better now. He knows her warmth, her bravery, her capacity for forgiveness… her heart. He knows he loves her.

“You’re an incredible woman, Lisa,” he tells her deeply, suddenly overwhelmed by the fullness inside his chest. He wants to say more but he’s interrupted by Max slipping into the room before he can.

“Need any help?” Max asks cheerfully.

“None at all, in fact,” Lisa smiles, but she catches Rick’s eye briefly as she hands him a plate. “Everything is ready. Here you go.”

They carry their plates out to the table and Miriya glances doubtfully at the meal placed in front of her.

“I’ve gone easy on the spices for yours, Miriya,” Lisa says kindly. Dana is all but asleep against Miriya’s chest but Miriya refuses to put her to bed. Rick assumes she will eat one handed. “Please don’t feel you have to eat it if it’s not to your taste.”

Miriya’s face softens almost instantly. “Thank you for your consideration, Lisa.”

They begin to eat and the conversation flows easily over the meal. Rick is seated next to Lisa, his thigh pressed against hers under the small table and he doesn’t think twice to lay a hand over her knee as they talk and eat except that he feels her small jolt of surprise.

He glances at her in concern, but she’s busy gulping at her glass of water. To anyone else, she’s unaffected but sitting as close to her as he is, he can see the tips of her ears growing red. He chuckles to himself and is about to re-join the conversation when the air is split by the harsh trill of his telephone.

“Huh?” he mutters. “I wonder who would be calling at this hour.”

Max pats his stomach as Rick reluctantly withdraws his hand and stands up.

“I hope it’s not the base,” Max says. “I don’t think my veritech would even be able to get airborne after that meal. It was wonderful, Lisa.”

Rick can’t hear Lisa’s response over phone’s incessant ring. He hopes it doesn’t wake Dana but when he looks over, he finds her still sound asleep against Miriya’s chest.

The phone trills rudely again.

“Okay, okay, I’m coming,” he grumbles, already annoyed by the intrusion.

“Captain Hunter here….. hello?”

There’s no sound on the other end of the line and Rick pulls the handset away from his ear to stare at it in confusion. A burst of laughter comes from behind him and he’s suddenly impatient to get back to the table and his friends. He lifts it back up. “Hello? Is anyone th-“

There’s a click and then the dial tone sounds and he shrugs and returns the handset to its cradle.

Lisa catches his eye as he returns to the table and he shakes his head. “Must have been a wrong number I guess.”

“That’s strange,” Lisa frowns but then whatever else she was about to say is lost when he covers her knee with his hand again. “Oh,” she flushes.

He tries to mute his satisfied grin but it’s hard to do. There’s something about Lisa sitting so close to him across from their friends, sharing a meal she had prepared in his quarters that feels too comfortable to question.

Before long, Max yawns and the Sterlings make their excuses to head home.

Rick sees them off at the door then returns to help Lisa collect the plates and tidy up the kitchen. There isn’t a lot of room with the two of them shuffling around in the tiny space and they bump into each other and Rick seizes the opportunity to slide his arm around her waist and tug her close.

Was it really only a few days ago she had refused to even acknowledge him? And now here she was, soft and warm in his arms and he revels in the knowledge he can touch her like this. He breathes her in and touches his lips to the side of her neck.

She shivers lightly. “Rick,” she says quietly. “This will take all night if you keep distracting me.”

He raises his head and offers her a smirk. “That’s the idea,” he says and she huffs and pokes him in the side, making him laugh as he releases her.

They continue with the clean up and before long, his countertop is once again sparkling and finally agreeable to Lisa’s high standards.

“There,” she says in satisfaction when they’re done, admiring the gleam of the kitchen’s now pristine surfaces. “Much better.”

Rick watches as she gathers up her purse and slips on her coat but it’s not until she’s standing on his doorstep that he realizes she’s holding something in her hands. “Hey, what’s that?”

“Your shirt,” she says, hugging the bundle to her chest. She had changed back into her uniform before Max and Miriya had arrived, self-conscious about being seen wearing Rick’s clothes. “I’ll wash it for you.”

“It’s okay, I can do it. I’m not completely helpless, you know.”

Her eyes twinkle. “Are you sure about that? I saw the pink socks.”

He pretends to scowl which only makes her giggle, one hand over her mouth. “Alright, laugh it up. Fine, if you want to, you can take it.”

He’s disappointed when she leaves with a kiss to his cheek and the shirt in her arms. He would have liked to keep her perfume close for a little bit longer.

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	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll notice that the title of this story has changed... it's evolved since the first draft and I wanted a title to reflect that. The reason behind the new title will become clearer later on.

_Life is always with the waiting, hoping and anticipating_   
_My love for you is cascading_   
_Til everywhere around me all I see are different shapes and shades of beauty_

“A Beautiful Place To Be” – Tyronne Wells

｡･:*:･ﾟ ,｡･:*:･ﾟ ｡･:*:･ﾟ ,｡･:*:･ﾟ

* * *

It’s the same dream she’s suffered through a hundred times over in the years since news came that Sera Base had been destroyed but something about it this time seems different.

She’s sitting on the edge of the river bank, under the dappled shade of a large tree. The birds chirp quietly and the water flows past her blue and clear. She tilts her face up, searching for the sun but a shadow falls across her instead.

“Lisa,” she hears and when she looks up, he’s there, standing over her with a softness in his hazel eyes that makes her want to throw her arms around his neck and hold tight.

The dream plays out like it has many times before, the echo of a memory she wishes she could go back and relive, to change the outcome knowing that if he leaves, only pain and heartbreak will follow. But it tracks the same thread it always does… Carl says goodbye and the sky turns black and dark. She can’t let him go, but when she tries to seize his arm, her hand swipes through his body like he’s made of smoke.

“Lisa,” he smiles kindly, a vacant curve of his lips that leaves her cold as he starts to recede into the distance. A voice in her mind screams to follow him, to fight her way through the darkened sky, to chase after the shadowy figure even as she knows that she’ll never catch him, she’ll never be able to reach him, to save him and in turn, save herself.

“Carl,” she sobs, willing herself to move. But something holds her feet in place, something holds her still. In her panic, she whirls around, only to find where dark skies once threatened, sunlight blooms across the landscape once again.

And in the distance, a hazy, dark haired figure is waving to her.

Where panic, agony and fear had curled around her, the sunlight washes it away. The figure in the distance waves again and Lisa feels a tug and a rush of longing. It comes from a place she can’t name, a place she can’t see, but when she glances back at the shadows and gloom behind her she knows it’s time to leave the past behind her.

“Lisa!” the figure bathed in light calls out to her.

“I’m coming,” she whispers. Sunlight and warmth seeps into her skin as she pulls her feet free and starts to run.

｡･:*:･ﾟ ,｡･:*:･ﾟ ｡･:*:･ﾟ ,｡･:*:･ﾟ

* * *

Lisa wakes from the dream with a start.

A strange restlessness clings to her skin in a way that makes her throw off her sheets and hurry to the bathroom to splash cool water against her skin.

The dream… What did it mean? The same dream she’s had so often over the years had always been about Riber. She refused to consider them nightmares, instead clinging to the first few moments of the dream where she can feel him beside her and she can reacquaint herself with the sound of his voice and the swell of his smile. The dream’s usual pattern would always end with her trying to stop him from leaving, gripping his hand and begging as he walked away until she would wake up with tears over her face and sobs in her throat.

But this time had been different. This time, it hadn’t been Riber she clung to.

She shivers as the cold water trickles down her neck and a lone drop eases between her breasts. She reaches for a towel and dabs away the dampness with hands that tremble unexpectedly. Instead of feeling rested, she feels wan and tired but instead of going back to bed, she wanders into her kitchen and sets the water to boil for a cup of tea. As it heats, she reaches for a familiar photo that’s been a constant companion throughout all her recent travels.

“Riber,” she says softly, picking up the frame and staring at the image of a face she sometimes struggled to remember in the years since the SDF-1 found its home on Earth.

Something akin to guilt curls around her, just as it always does in the moments before she rallies herself and pushes it away. She’s not sure what the dream was trying to tell her, but she wonders somehow if it was a part of her giving herself the permission to move on. The figure in the distance… it had felt like Rick.

All at once, Lisa has the pressing urge to pick up the phone and call him and she’s halfway across the room before she forces herself to stop in her tracks. The painful reminder of how it had felt to have love ripped away still sat heavy on her heart and it reminds her of how fledgling her relationship with Rick still was. A week ago she had been ready to walk away from him completely but now it felt like she was forever thinking about ways to massage the duty rosters to allow for them to spend more time together. She found herself thinking of him in all her spare moments and even now she wants to curl up in the safety of his arms and listen to the beat of his heart to soothe the restlessness and unease that the dream had brought her.

But instead of calling him, she pushes herself to make her tea and takes a seat at her dining table. As the dawn breaks, she stares at the pink flowers of Rick’s gift and tries to ignore the presence of the yellow phone on the counter nearby.

｡･:*:･ﾟ ,｡･:*:･ﾟ ｡･:*:･ﾟ ,｡･:*:･ﾟ

* * *

Lisa is standing at the railing of the observation deck overlooking the lake with the wind whipping at her hair when Rick finds her hours later.

It had been less than twenty four hours since she had left his doorstep but her smile had been a constant in his mind in the hours since.

His first instinct is to sweep her up in his arms and plant little kisses along her cheek but he holds himself firmly in check. They’re both in uniform and both on duty and even though casual displays of affection have become more accepted within the defense forces since the end of the war, Rick understood how important it was to Lisa to maintain her image of the cool, consummate captain of the SDF-2. As much as he might sometimes miss that familiar fiery spark in her eye, he much prefers the soft looks she gives him so he approaches silently and leans casually against the railing beside her.

“Hi,” he greets her softly, joining her in staring over the lake for a moment. The sun sparkles off the water and he spares a moment to think about how peaceful the city looks in the distance.

She glances up at him with a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “Hi yourself, hotshot.”

His lips quirk at the nickname but she turns back to the lake before she can see it. Her smile has already faded into a frown and Rick finds himself tensing unconsciously. There was trouble brewing out there, no matter how content he is in his own private bubble with Lisa and as much as he wishes they could ignore it, he knows they can’t for long.

“Guess the meeting with the brass this morning didn’t go so well, huh.”

“Not really,” she sighs. She surprises him by stepping closer and resting her head against his shoulder. He pauses for a moment then follows her lead to slide his arm around her waist. They’re alone on the deck but he decides then he doesn’t care if they’re seen, or if tongues start wagging. They’ve been the subject of rumors for months now anyway.

“This can’t last, can it?” she says quietly and it takes him a heart stopping moment to understand she’s not actually talking about them. “The war is over, but there still isn’t peace.”

He rubs the small of her back and wishes he could kiss her. A gust of wind whips her hair back from her face and ruffles his own. In the distance, the echoing roar of mecha can be heard over the sounds of the city but he concentrates on the warmth of her beside him.

“I feel it too,” he replies, thinking back to the uneasy feeling that had been plaguing him since the incident in New Detroit. Despite his distractions with his relationship with Lisa, it’s never been far from his mind.

Lisa presses closer, taking his arm and clutching him tightly as though she’s afraid he might try to run away. She’s been unsettled today, and he tries not to wonder if it’s more than just the rumors of unrest bothering her. Last night she had walked away from him happy and relaxed but this morning she seemed tired and her brows were pinched from the moment she had stepped onto the base.

“Sometimes I feel so guilty,” she tells him so softly he wonders if he misheard her.

“Guilty?” he frowns and turns to study her face. She won’t meet his eye, continuing to stare out across the water. “Lisa, what do you mean?”

“How can I be so happy…” she murmurs. “When there’s still so much uncertainty out there? So much conflict. I can’t help but feel like I’m just waiting for something to go wrong.”

The same thought had plagued him too, although he tries not to give them life. He shakes his head, choosing instead to focus on the joy he hasn’t felt in years. He wants Lisa to do the same.

“We can’t always control the big things, Lisa. But we can have this.”

She doesn’t answer straight away and he slips his palms against her hips and guides her gently so that she’s looking into his eyes and not at the shattered boom of the SDF-1’s carriers. Although still operational, the pockmarked surface tells the story of countless battles fought and countless lives lost - a constant reminder of the war and everything they’ve lost. He searches her gaze, no longer surprised to see this vulnerability in her but wary she’s going to pull away out of some misplaced sense of guilt or duty. He’s had a taste of her now, he can’t go back to the way things were. He needs to help her understand. “Haven’t we earned a little happiness?”

Lisa reaches up to brush his hair away from his eyes but her expression is still pensive. He feels it too - the immensity of their uncertain future, but recently the weight of it hasn’t been as heavy. There’s been bright spots in his days lately and he has Lisa to thank for that.

She pauses in her answer before she gives him a slight smile. To his relief, she seems to shake off her depressive mood. “Yes, I suppose you’re right,” she says with forced cheer.

He plays along, giving her a cocky smirk. “Of course I’m right,” he says confidently. “I’m always right.”

She sniffs dismissively and rolls her eyes, but a smile curves her mouth now. Rick’s heart surges with affection and he slips his arm around her once again and draws her close. “Say, I have an idea. How would you feel about letting me take you on a picnic tomorrow?”

He doesn’t notice straight away how she arches an eyebrow coolly and her tone turns a little flat. “A picnic, huh?”

“Yeah,” he nods with enthusiasm. He can see it clearly in his mind’s eye, the far away lookout at the peak he’d climbed a few months earlier on a training exercise with his squad would be the perfect place to take Lisa. Just the two of them in the forest, hiking their way to the summit to see the view. Lisa is fit and athletic; she would probably relish the challenge and the climb. “I know a great spot but it’s a bit of a hike to get there, but I think I- uh… Lisa, what’s wrong?”

She pins him with a flat glance and he squirms slightly as realization dawns. Oh. Right. The last time he had invited her on a picnic it hadn’t turned out so well for either of them.

He offers her a weak smile. “I promise not to leave you waiting this time.”

She studies him with narrowed eyes for a moment as he holds his breath. The idle thought that he may be making amends for that failed date for the rest of his life skitters past before she finally exhales and nudges him lightly.

“Alright, mister,” she says as she tucks a wayward strand of hair behind her ear. “You can have your picnic, but make sure it actually happens this time, all right?”

His lifts his fingers in a mock salute. “Yes, ma’am.”

｡･:*:･ﾟ ,｡･:*:･ﾟ ｡･:*:･ﾟ ,｡･:*:･ﾟ

* * *

The day of their picnic dawns bright and full of a shimmer on the horizon that Lisa tries to tell herself isn’t the latent radiation of the attack that decimated the planet, but a sign of their world coming back to life. It’s impossible to ignore the wide, desolate craters in the far distance but here on the mountain path, she can almost imagine this is a normal day prewar and she and Rick are without a care in the world.

They’ve been walking for over an hour now, and the path is getting steeper and more treacherous. It takes almost all of her concentration to watch where to put her feet amongst the slippery gravel and her breath comes in rough bursts from the climb up to the summit. She focuses on Rick’s form in front of her, privately admiring to herself how fit and strong he looks out of his uniform in a white t-shirt on, tan pants and a small black backpack on his back. His boots are sturdy and have no trouble finding grip on the rugged terrain.

Lisa is dressed much the same, in a pale pink shirt with the collar flipped up to protect the back of her neck from the sun, and shorts that bare most of her long legs. She hasn’t had a chance to move her body like this in years and it was exciting to put her hair up in a ponytail and start the climb. Now, finally near the peak, she sees Rick pause at the edge of the tree line and hold out a hand towards her.

“Almost there,” he says, his eyes shining and his hair is damp from their exertions. “Here, let me help you.”

She takes his hand and he pulls her up over one last boulder and as the trail opens out to a clear path through the trees. Together they walk out from under the leafy canopy and onto the flat expanse of the rocky mountain top. Before the war, this spot was a popular tourist destination but its remote location made it almost impossible to get to now - unless you happened to have a tandem veritech at your disposal and a few high ranking officers in your back pocket.

Lisa gazes out at the view breathlessly with her hand still firmly tucked against Rick’s palm. “Rick, this is… this is… Oh.”

The mountain is still full of life with verdant foliage clinging to its ranges, but in the distance beyond the great cities were gone and the oceans had drawn back from the coastline. Wide pockmarked craters dot the landscape in the far horizon but the sun shone down, revealing colours she hadn’t seen before in large swathes over the surface.

“I never thought I would ever see you speechless,” he teases her gently, squeezing her hand after a long moment where she struggles to make sense of her thoughts. So much desolation, so much to still be grateful for. This was their world now… and there was still beauty in it.

“I don’t have words for this,” she says, still trailing her eyes over the land. “I mean, we saw all this from the air but somehow being here… this is different.”

“I know what you mean,” he agrees. He gives her hand one more squeeze before he releases it in order to slip off his backpack and pull out two bottles of water.

She accepts the water he passes her gratefully and wipes a hand across her brow. There’s a cool breeze on the top of the mountain that licks away her perspiration, but she’s sure her skin is shiny and her face red from the exercise.

Rick doesn’t seem to think so.

“You hardly broke a sweat,” Rick grins in approval as he leans back against a deep orange bolder. He rakes his gaze over her warmly, clearly pleased with what he sees. Lisa tries not to flush at his pleased admiration as she takes a drink. The water is so refreshing on her tongue and still cool from the insulated pack Rick had kept it in. “I’m impressed,” he continues. “Minmei probably would have made me carry her most of the way.”

There’s a heartbeat of awkward silence while Lisa wonders how she’s supposed to respond to that. It makes her uncomfortable to think Rick might be silently comparing her to little Miss Macross but then she sees the dawning realization cross his face as he panics. “Er, uh, I mean- I-“

She considers letting him flail until she reminds herself that they’ve come too far together for her to allow the thoughtless comment to sting so much.

“It’s alright, Rick,” she says, trying to be magnanimous in the face of his gaffe even though her skin pricks with the humiliation from believing he had chosen Minmei over her. It still lingers close to the surface even though she tells herself she’s moved past it. She straightens her shoulders and takes a breath before she continues. “I know your history with her and how you feel about her. I don’t want you to be afraid to mention her in front of me.”

Rick frowns then, maybe a little suspicious at how easily she’s willing to let it go. “Oh, yeah?” he says in a tone that tells her he’s not really buying it. Lisa forces a bland smile to her face to hide the unsettled emotions churning in her stomach.

“She was a very important part of your life and part of who you are today and I… I accept that.”

Rick’s frown deepens and Lisa wishes she could dispel the sudden pressure building up between them. This isn’t what she wants. They have time alone together in this heartbreakingly beautiful place and she certainly doesn’t want to waste it talking about _Minmei_ of all people.

“That’s behind me now,” he says, still frowning but he reaches for Lisa’s hand as though he’s looking for reassurance she’s not rebuffing him.

She tells herself that Minmei was his past and that she is his future. At least she hopes she is, she thinks as a shadow of disquiet looms above her.

She pushes aside the shadow of disquiet. Why is she letting the offhand comment get to her like this? Minmei was his past and that she is his future. _He’s here with me now, isn’t he?_

She bites her lip and squeezes his hand. “I don’t want to fight about it, Rick.”

He’s visibly frustrated and he opens his mouth to say something before thinking better of it. She’s startled when he abruptly pulls her close with the grip on her hand, almost sending her stumbling into him. His hands are in her hair, cupping the back of her neck as he leans into steal her mouth. It’s not his usual tender kiss, she can taste his faint remorse but she doesn’t think to pull away. She leans into it, clutching his shirt as she tastes the traces of salt on his skin.

As abruptly as he had pulled her close, he draws back and presses his forehead to hers. “You’re what’s most important to me now, Lisa.”

She blinks, still slightly dazed from his kiss and trying to focus. It doesn’t work until he leans back and she looks up to catch a glimpse of blue under his hair. “I am?”

“Yes,” he says it with a smile in his voice, as though he’s amused she would even question it. He doesn’t take his gaze away from her face, studying her as though trying to read every thought behind her eyes.

His prolonged gaze makes her self conscious and she places a hand to her cheek. They’re hot and not just from their climb. “What is it? Why are you looking at me like that?”

His mouth curves and a warm, familiar light reappears in his eyes.

“Just admiring the view,” he says with a light smile. Lisa ducks her head, laughing shakily at his indulgent teasing. He chuckles with her and draws her against his chest, looping his arms around her. She sighs into his embrace and breathes in the warmth of his skin. Traces of his cologne tickle her nose under the woodsy scent of their surroundings and she listens to the steady thump of his heart under her ear and watches the slow roll of the clouds pass over the landscape below.

They’ve been standing together for a while, both silently taking in the view when Rick speaks.

“Are you happy, Lisa?”

The thread of uncertainty in his tone makes her lift her head. She finds him staring down at her, a shadow of uncertainly she hasn’t seen before in his look. She reaches up to stroke his cheek then captures his chin gently in her fingers. She guides him down and presses a light kiss to his lips before drawing back.

“So very happy, Captain Hunter.”

｡･:*:･ﾟ ,｡･:*:･ﾟ ｡･:*:･ﾟ ,｡･:*:･ﾟ

* * *

A short time later, Rick releases her to dig out a few more items from his back pack. He lays out a plaid picnic blanket at the base of a rocky outcrop, shaded by a large tree at their back. Lisa waits to the side, holding the basket with their sandwiches and thinking back on their exchange earlier – and her own reaction – with the faintest flicker of trepidation _. Is the merest mention of Minmei always going to be there to derail her_ , she wonders. Lisa of all people knew it was possible to move on from love – from Riber, she remembers him with a warm affection. There’s pain there, but it’s old, worn. The edges rubbed away. But it had been years, so many years and Minmei wasn’t dwelling in the afterlife. She was still within Rick’s reach if he only cared to fight for her affections.

“Are you going to sit?” Rick asks, startling her out of her thoughts. She kneels on the far edge of the blanket and steals glances at him while they eat. He makes a fuss over the food she’s prepared, offering her high praise that makes her laugh lightly in spite of herself.

“I’m going to make someone a very happy husband,” she jokes easily as she tucks everything back into the backpack when they’ve finished eating. Rick doesn’t chuckle like she expects him to, his lips pressed down in a frown but he leans back against the rock face and pats the blanket at his side.

“Come sit with me,” he says.

She doesn’t hesitate, shuffling over on the rug and settling in against his side. She rests her head on his shoulder and he slides his arm around her waist. For a long time, neither of them speak, instead lingering in a comfortable silence as the wind billows past the peak.

“This is so peaceful, Rick,” she says, lifting her head from his shoulder.

He looks down at her, a wry smile on his lips. “Don’t get too comfortable, we still have to make it down the mountain yet.”

Lisa glances away. “Hmm, do we have to? Do you think anyone would miss us if we just stayed here?”

Rick chuckles then takes a moment to steal a kiss before drawing back. “Do you think anyone missed us that time we got stuck during the SDF’s transformation sequence, after the movie theatre? Remember that?”

“Yes, I remember,” she chuckles as the memories of how that came about replays in her mind. She remembers the crowd in the lobby, and the sudden shove that had nearly bowled her over. “I also distinctly recall your hands on my backside not long before that too, if I remember correctly.”

Rick scrubs a hand over his face as though still mortified even though it was years ago. He groans. “Oh, of course you would remember _that_ part.”

Lisa eyes him with a small smirk, enjoying his discomfort too much. “I also distinctly remember you saying you wouldn’t _ever_ want to touch _my_ backside. Well, who’s laughing now, mister?”

He does his best to flash her a charmingly apologetic smile. “And a very fine backside it is too,” he tells her with great seriousness that leaves her momentarily disarmed.

There’s a beat, then two as Rick catches her gaze and holds it. The air around them becomes heavy, filled with latent promise and a desire for something she hasn’t allowed herself to think about. She suddenly becomes very aware of the heat of Rick’s hand resting against her thigh and her throat grows dry as his eyes grow dark. They hadn’t taken their relationship further yet, not physically at least. Rick had been clear about taking it at her pace and although Lisa had allowed herself to drown against his mouth until her lips were tender to touch, they hadn’t gone further.

In that moment, with her heartrate spiking and the wind skimming past their little sanctuary on the summit, Lisa realizes she would very much like to feel Rick’s hands on her backside once again.

Heat pools low in her body and Rick seems to read her thoughts in her eyes. He swallows thickly and once hand clenches. “Lisa,” he murmurs and then he cups her face and she covers his hand with hers without thinking. She likes the way he holds her, as though he needs to anchor her against him. It makes her feel treasured and after feeling adrift for so long when it came to understanding how he feels about her, she revels in the sensation.

She loses herself in yet another kiss for a long moment then a forceful burst of wind sweeps past, sending their hair waving and snapping in the breeze. There’s a change coming and they draw apart grudgingly.

“I guess we should head back. Those clouds over there look like a storm is brewing and I’d like to be back at the veritech before it finds us.”

“Yes, I suppose you’re right.”

They share another brief kiss before they start to pack up their small picnic and Rick leads her back down the mountain.

They make it back to the veritech just before the storm hits.

｡･:*:･ﾟ ,｡･:*:･ﾟ ｡･:*:･ﾟ ,｡･:*:･ﾟ

* * *

Rick pops open the canopy then looks behind him to see Lisa fast asleep under the spare helmet. He grins to himself and admires how lovely she looks with her face smooth with slumber. She looks younger, especially with her pale pink shirt and her hair spread across her shoulders, more like a carefree young woman and not the first officer of a space fortress for all those years facing down an invading enemy fleet. He thinks for a moment about the life Lisa has lived, the path she’s forged for herself, the personal risks she took to do all that she could to help end the war. She could have anyone she wanted if she just let down her walls long enough for them to see the young woman underneath but for some reason, she’s chosen _him_ to be the one to see behind her mask of duty and sacrifice. Not the ice queen or the whip sharp tongued dragon on the bridge, but Lisa – soft and sweet and spirited in ways that still surprise him.

He was so damn lucky.

He reaches over the seat to touch her gently. “Lisa. Lisa, we’re back at the base.”

Lisa stirs slowly. “Hmm? Oh.” She blinks awake, glancing around at the open canopy and the busy flight deck below. “Oh, goodness I fell asleep.”

“Sleeping beauty,” he quips easily with a grin and she takes off the helmet and shakes out her hair before they both climb down.

A dark skinned man trots over. “Captain Hunter, Captain Hayes! I trust your day was enjoyable?”

Rick slips his hand into Lisa’s without hesitation and she flashes him a shy smile before turning back to the chief. Rick is gratified when she doesn’t let go of his hand.

“It was quite a climb, but very enjoyable,” she says formally, ever the officer. “Thank you for letting us take the training unit today.”

The man grins. “Well, couldn’t very well have you riding on the Captain’s lap in Skull One, could we?”

He chuckles as he walks away and Rick and Lisa glance at each other in amusement, remembering Rick’s rescue of her two years ago from Alaska base.

“It wasn’t so bad,” he leans over to murmur.

Rick walks with Lisa back to the hangar and leaves her just long enough to stow his helmet and the spare before taking her home.

“Would you like to come in?” she asks shyly as she opens the door to her place. There’s something soft in her eyes, something vulnerable he didn’t see there earlier. He’s not sure what it means.

He tilts his head questioningly. “You’re not tired of me yet?”

“Mm,” she hums as though pretending to consider it. She shakes her head. “No. Not yet.”

Rick hums and haws for a moment. “I should probably go home and get showered first. We worked up quite a sweat on that mountain.”

She glances towards the small hallway that leads to her bedroom and bathroom. “You could shower here,” she says. “It’s not like it would be the first time.”

Rick remembers vividly his half frozen state that night and how long it had taken him to warm up in her shower. Standing here now, with that soft look in her eyes certainly made it all worth it.

He wants nothing more than to stay with her. Strange how after a few hours with Minmei he would always feel mentally exhausted. Trying to jump through all the hoops her conversations would take them through was draining. Lisa had always had the opposite effect. Even though their situations were stressful with the war, captivity, her presence didn’t exhaust him like that.

Then another thought occurs to him and he remembers her comment on the mountain and the way the space between them had changed. There was no denying where her thoughts had gone.

He swallows thickly and his heartrate kicks up a notch.

“You know I want to,” he finally says, not bothering to hide the longing in his voice. “But, Lisa… are… are you ready… for uh, I mean… for that-”

Lisa blinks then her eyes narrow dangerously. “Hunter! I’m offering the use of my bathroom, what exactly do you think I’m proposing here?”

Panic flares wildly in Rick’s chest and he realizes in that moment he’s gravely misunderstood. “Uh-“

She whirls and storms inside and he hurries in after her, pausing only long enough to kick her front door shut behind him. “Lisa, wait! That’s not what I-“

He doesn’t get a chance to finish before she spins and shoves him against the door. He lands with a small grunt, a small part of him dimly surprised by her strength. She seeks out his mouth with a sudden fervor that leaves him momentarily stunned then elated. Her hands are in his hair and his nose is full of her scent as he wraps himself around her and kisses her back. Somewhere inside him, relief flares bright and he runs his hands down her body as she presses close.

“Lisa,” he mutters through her kisses. “Oh, god, _Lisa!”_

Somewhere a button pops a moment before his palm makes contact with the warm skin against her waist.

“Rick,” she sighs, his name barely a breath on her lips and their gazes catch and hold. He feels unsteady, but he’s not sure if it’s the lack of oxygen or the ground shifting under his feet and he’s grateful for the door at his back to steady him. She pulls him down again, kissing him once again and he doesn’t stop to think about what he’s doing when his hands slide down over her back and cup her backside. His mouth is still fused to his when he lifts her and she wraps her legs tightly around his waist.

“God, Lisa,” he groans, stumbling the two of them the short distance to her sofa and tumbling down in a tangle of limbs. He grips one lean smooth thigh as Lisa arches under him and traces the seam of his mouth with her tongue.

There’s no question as to where a kiss like that will lead and it sends a white hot flash of heat right through him.

There was potential here for a significant step forward in their relationship. Until now he had been satisfied with chaste kisses and gentle touches, telling himself he was content to follow her lead. A distant part of him wonders if Lisa’s really ready for it, until he realizes with a clarity as cold as a bucket of water that he should be more worried about himself.

He loves her, he wants her… but _god_ , he isn’t exactly a Casanova. What if he lets this continue and they make their way into her bedroom. What if they strip away their barriers and fall into that intimacy and he disappoints her? Lisa is older than he is, he remembers. She had a _fiancé!_ She’s not inexperienced in the bedroom, but he most certainly _is_. He had worshipped Minmei from afar for so long, not to mention there had been a war on. Aside from a couple of fumbling casual hook ups in his teenage youth when he was riding high on the success of his father’s flying circus, he just hasn’t had the time or the inclination to sleep around.

He almost regrets that now. He wants it to be _good_ for Lisa. He wants it to be everything she deserves and he’s disappointed her in so many ways already he can’t do so in this too.

She senses his panic and draws back. She stares up at him, breathless with her lips shiny and swollen from their passionate kisses but her brows furrow with wary concern.

“Rick? What is it?”

White noise fills his ears and he struggles to find his voice. The urge to run is overwhelming. He needs to get out of here. He needs to get away before he loses all self-control.

“I can’t,” he manages to gasp out as he scrambles upright. Lisa’s pink shirt has fallen open, giving him a tantalizing glimpse of pale blue lace before she sits up and snaps the material closed in front of her chest.

“I see,” she says stiffly, climbing to her feet. He stumbles back, blood still roaring in his ears. He realizes too late that she’s misunderstood and he tries to reach for her. 

“Lisa, I-“

“It’s alright, Rick,” she says stiffly, not meeting his eye but dodging his touch. Her shoulders straighten and her tone turns brisk as she rounds on him with her face schooled into the cool mask he knows all too well. “But you should leave.”

“Lisa,” he tries to protest again she draws away from him completely and walks towards her front door. She lays a hand on the handle and opens it slightly, a very clear instruction that she wants him gone from her space. “Wait a second-“

“Thank you for the lovely picnic,” she says formally, cutting him off. One hand still bunches in the material of her shirt and her cheeks burn. He can see how hard she’s fighting to hold onto her dignity and he growls low in frustration at the back of his throat.

He tries again. “It’s not... _dammit_ , it’s not what you think!”

And just like that day in the park when the snowflakes had started to fall, Lisa’s rebuke is sharp and unyielding. “No, it never is, is it? Goodnight, Rick.”

Inwardly, Rick’s mind scratches like a broken record _. It’s me, Lisa, not you-_

But how does he say that out loud? He can’t… So he doesn’t.

｡･:*:･ﾟ ,｡･:*:･ﾟ ｡･:*:･ﾟ ,｡･:*:･ﾟ


End file.
